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Reviews for A Royal Flush

By : slygriff21
  • From ANON - Lady Voldemort on January 28, 2006
    This is a very good story you are very talented! I hope to read more.
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  • From ANON - QueenRuby on January 27, 2006
    Even though my Grammer sucks and my spelling isn't all that great I have been writing a long time and have sevreal Creative Writing class under my belt. Therefore I am more then willing to beta those points for you. I love this story idea of yours and the only thing I see that needs work is your discrption.
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  • From ANON - QueenRuby on January 27, 2006
    Yay Torture Lucise. Stupid Malfoy.
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  • From ANON - GrammarChick on January 27, 2006
    Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Work on your grammar, logic, similes, etc. You have a wonderful imagination, as all can see through your many posted stories. Nevertheless, while you have improved, your grammar is still dreadful, and detracts from the good points of your works. Even if you don't have an inclination to pick up "Elements of Style," just listen to the HP movies. Has any character EVER said, "Me and her" or "Me and (whoever)." Please review basic English grammar and incorporate into your fiction.
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  • From pickles87 on January 27, 2006
    great story. enjoying very much. waiting for more. p
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  • From ANON - snapegirl88 on January 27, 2006
    BLOODY GREAT
    PLEASE KEEP IT COMING
    I LOVE IT

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  • From ANON - FLBanshee on January 27, 2006
    Very cool fic! Please keep going!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 27, 2006
    Great start!
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  • From ANON - aurora on January 27, 2006
    So sorry for the double post, i hadn't read through your reviews when i posted the first time. Anyhow, not having a beta or having one unavailable is no excuse for not reading and rereading thoroughly before you post. that should help you catch stuff like missing words and major errors like the names and usage of certain spells. i'm not asking you to be a grammar whiz or never make any mistakes but youve at least gotta have complete sentences.
    ~a
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  • From ANON - SnapesPet30 on January 27, 2006
    I'm so glad you updated! Loved how she set him up for that kiss, WOW! Oops Volodormt is none to happy about this bit of news. Now I can see why Hermione picked Severus for to be her protector, well besides the fallen in love with him. *Grins* Keep up the great work!
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  • From ANON - aurora on January 27, 2006
    Well the plot is fun and i like the story, even if everyone is a little OOC (that's for the warning on that, btw.), however you could definitely benefit from a beta-reader. Just someone to look over your draft and help you polish it up a little. the one big error that i noticed, though, was the your use of the Unforgivable the Cruciatus Curse- the spell is "Crucio" not "Curico". The Harry Potter Lexicon (google- HP Lexicon) is great help for some of that stuff and it's super east to navigate.

    Keep writing!

    peace~ a
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 27, 2006
    I like it. Keep writing.
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  • From ANON - Evelynn on January 27, 2006
    Itis pretty good so far, can't wait for the next update!
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  • From ANON - sheedy on January 27, 2006
    Voldy better kiss is ass good bye because I'll bet grandma is hell on wheels.
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  • From ANON - Laura on January 27, 2006
    Good story, needs to be fleshed out more. Hermione and Severus came together far too quickly to be believable- in any universe.
    Also, it's probably not your intention to have people laugh when Voldemort is punishing Lucius, but I couldn't help it. It's crucio....not curico.
    Hope you find a beta- I'll still be reading though...
    Laura
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