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Reviews for The Friday Boy

By : harriet
  • From ANON - Anon on October 01, 2008
    Excellent sense of drama, good sexual tension, natural dialogue. She's just as good a storyteller as she was in her earlier stories, but the new improved spelling is a blessing. There were very few mistakes in this story, so reading it was more enjoyable and I rarely had to skid to a halt to puzzle out some bizarre word choice.

    constructive criticism

    "baited breath" What you mean is bated, as in abated, not baited as in fishing worms or minnows http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=bated

    "hair brain scheme" [hare brain, like a rabbit] This is used in many of your fics

    "legitimate" is probably something Microsoft Spellcheck is suggesting when you want legilimens

    ch 33 "the eldest Weasley" [it's really Bill, not Charlie]. In ch. 35, you correctly state that Bill is the eldest.

    root should be rut http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=rut

    "aw" should be awe in all of your stories

    ch 45 his patience beginning to ware thin [wear]

    ch 50 you have the dark mark on Snape's right arm instead of his left

    ch 51 hampster should not have a P in it

    ch 52
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  • From ANON - Deadbolt on July 29, 2008
    *sniff* That was a sad ending. The changing of the world I mean.. *sniffs again* But the story, as all your others, was perfect.
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  • From twistaddicted on July 22, 2008
    I am puzzled at what Severus actually did to Draco in a previous chapter. It -sort of- gave the impression he killed him , but here Draco is again, well enough to petition to marry Snape. The other thing I am confused by is Harry's reaction to whatever it was that was done to Draco - why would that suddenly make him fall out of love with Severus. Colour me confused.
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  • From twistaddicted on July 21, 2008
    Hi,
    This fic is rivetting! Great stuff!
    BTW your web blog seems to have disappeared and none of your WIPs seem to have been updated for a while. I hope you are okay?
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  • From twistaddicted on July 21, 2008
    I'm certainly enjoying it so far. It is starting to get into the story now and so more exciting now and so I was tempted not to take the time to review but to hurry on to the next chapter - but my conscience won out this time. Thanks for what promises to be an enjoyable read (despite your spelling being a bit off at times LOL)
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  • From ANON - DancingHorses on July 07, 2008
    The Friday Boy, Chapter 2

    To "pay (not pray) homage to the porcelain god" refers specifically to getting on your knees in front of the toilet and bowing over in order to throw up, usually after drinking too much alcohol.
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  • From bbarber07 on April 17, 2008
    This is the fourth fic of yours I've read and while they're all very good, this one is by far my favorite. Seriously. It's hot and sweet without making me go into a diabetic coma, and something about the way you portray the characters this time is wonderfully intriguing.
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  • From bbarber07 on April 17, 2008
    For some reason, Harry having to cool himself off by taking a cold shower in his clothes, and then saying "cunt" while dripping wet and frustrated... I'm feeling a little overheated at the imagery... ^-^
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  • From ANON - TC on March 23, 2008
    I forgot to mention..."alchemist of pain" is an awesome turn of phrase and a *perfect* description of what Snape does for Riddle in your story.
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  • From ANON - TC on March 23, 2008
    Hi!

    I've just read this story in more or less one sitting. I just *had* to keep reading to find out what was going to happen next. The angst was tangible...a veritable rollercoaster of emotions. It made me cry and laugh, literally. Well done! I really liked that Harry was portrayed as a 16-17 year old boy just on the verge of adulthood. His curiosity was endearing and maddening, and his temper was as wild as ever. Very in character. Some authors assign a lot of emotions and reactions to him that are just a little too grown up or too refined than they should be for a teenager, even one that has seen as much as Harry has. One of my only criticisms is that the time-shifting element was drop into the story out of the blue. A nice plot device to bring everything together and give us a happy ending (I do love happpy endings after all that angst) but it felt really contrived with no hints of it earlier in the story. The bond was explained throughout the story, yes, but the insertion of the time travel aspect was abrupt. Also, there were several grammar errors throughout the chapters but the plot and the overall writing more than made up for the minor annoyance so it was easier than it usually is for me to overlook them. Thanks for sharing. Overall it was brilliant! I'm looking forward to reading some of your other stories. Take care and may the muses be kind to you.

    TC
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  • From on February 18, 2008
    That was just great and I so wanted to read more!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - usmcgal on February 01, 2008
    i really must say you are my favorite writer on here. i woriship you lol
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  • From ANON - Kenz on January 12, 2008
    Wow, i didn't see that coming. i'm still trying to wrap my brain around that one, but i liked it very much. Great job. Of course thats not surprising considering i've absolutely loved all of your stories...
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  • From ANON - es on January 06, 2008
    In the sentence that contains "remained vigil", the word you want is vigilant. You could also say that he continued his vigil, using the noun form you already have instead of just putting in the adjective form. I followed a link from snarryficfind. Your story looks interesting.
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  • From xxlovemepleasexx on November 29, 2007
    you my dear have a talent that is amazing. . .twice at least you have brought me to tears reading your writing...i've also noticed the propensity for harry to get slapped by snape at least once in almost all of your snarry stories. . .i loved it!!!! beautiful
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