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Reviews for The Hogwarts Ho

By : Jjangi
  • From ANON - Suki on September 11, 2006
    Ooohhh... Really good. Please continue! Although, I did notice some grammar issues in your story. Somtimes you would put "Says I" Intead of "he/she said" or "wisper I" instead of "she/he wispered" Since it is not in first person P.O.V. you wouldn't put any I's or me's in the story. Ya, sorry if I'm being miss picky, your story is really good ^_^.
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  • From ANON - Anon on July 02, 2006
    You might have a decent story, but you have sabotaged it in a number of ways that put off potential readers. First you need to rewrite your story to put in blank spaces between paragraphs, or when your characters speak. This allows for much easier reading that is not as fatigueing to read. Next you should think of better chapter titles. But take heart, you seem to be half way there as you have not just titled you chapters as simply Chapter One, Chapter Two etc. which is a real turn-off to readers. Plus it gives the causual reader, that might not bother to read your story, a better sense of your story and hook them. I look forward to rereading your story after you accomplish the changes I have suggested.
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