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Reviews for Maternal Instinct

By : MissSnape
  • From ANON - Britt on October 22, 2006
    omg! UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (*thinks:* "not my business" hmph. idiot. lol) can't wait
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  • From SorceressFujin on October 22, 2006
    Excellent chapter as always! :)
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  • From ANON - lisa on October 22, 2006
    Something tells me that Severus and Hermione haven't heard the last of Viktor and Amy. or perhaps they will get together lol and leave Sev and Herms alone. Love it have been waiting for the update. good chappie. more please. update soon please.

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  • From ANON - angel on October 22, 2006
    man krum is a jerk .... im glad sev final got the divorce and he just has to get mione to love him again ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon i would love to read more .. later for now

    angel
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  • From ANON - Pickyrev on October 20, 2006
    Hello Again, I am quite enjoying the story but think you are rushing and find Hermione and Severus a bit ooc. I really don't believe that Severus would go home and drink and hit on someone right after finding out that his daughter has been poisoned. Where is the snarky, in control Potions Master. Wouldn't he have asked the healer for details on the poison, asked what antidote potions were to be administered even going so far as to check them out himself? I just don't think he would be so passive. It is clear that you know the word too but often you slip and use to instead. TOO- also or a lot of something. In sentence, chpt 6, I think, you describe Hermione of being excepting of Viktor instead of accepting. You also have a tendency to break up compound words such every where. In addition, you misspell Apparating throughout the story. Please review proper usage of apostrophes. It seems hit or miss. Corrin's room would be correct showing the room belongs to Corrin. The only times it shold go outside the S is if the name ends with an S such as Severus' or if something belongs to more than one person with the same name such as the Krums' lousy attitude (More than one Krum so an s at the end and the apostrophe after that to show the attitude belongs to all of them.) I know this sounds like I am harping, but it is these details that make it easier for the reader to understand the story and your meaning and honeslty, many readers will turn away from a story ( often missing some great plots) just because they get to distracted with the poor grammar. There is an unspoken, and often incorrect, assumption that if the grammar an spelling are so bad and that an author did not take the time to attnend to detail, then the storyline, too, will show the same lack of attention.
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  • From ANON - Pickyrev on October 20, 2006
    Very cute story. I like your portrayal of Snape as he slowly realizes how much he is missing out on the relationship with his daughter. Now for the criticism. Grammar,Grammar, Grammar. Please review your use of apostrophes. Apostrophe S or on occassion S apostrophe is almost always used for possession not for creating plurals. An example Hermione referred to dinner with the Krums'. By using the apostrophe, you indicate possession of something by the Krums. Multiple Krum people are Krums. Ok, that didn't come out the best but given your description of thm, I'll keep it. Please note the word there "I'll" contraction for I will'; you used this for the word ill. Also, check for homonyms such as there and their ( I think is was Snape thinking about mothers wanting to care for their children. Please get a beta to review.
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  • From Rumpelyssa on October 20, 2006
    Oh goody, goody, goody! I love it. Amy caught them! Yay! Update soon please.
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  • From ANON - mvanessa on October 20, 2006
    Oh noes! :X
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  • From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 20, 2006
    Uh oooh. Did Amy catch them, or is she just yelling at Corrin?
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  • From ANON - Orion T on October 19, 2006
    I didn't read this for the longest time because the summary didn't have Severus and Hermione together right off but I'm so so glad I read the reviews and clicked on it tonight. This is an absolutely amazing story! I've never read a SS/HG fic with this plot or angle and it's brilliant for it. Fantastic story, I can't wait for an update.
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  • From ANON - lisa on October 19, 2006
    omg I been waiting on this chappie. and lol omg they were caught. and now I gotta wait to see what happens man just my luck. Love it update soon please . I cannot wait to find out what happens lol.
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  • From ANON - takemeaway on October 19, 2006
    OMG you MINX I thought my Bloodbound cliffie was bad! That was just cruel! More soon please!!!
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  • From ANON - Britt on October 19, 2006
    omg! omg! omg! omg! UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR STORY!!!!
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  • From ANON - Ava Allen on October 19, 2006
    OMG.... and there is Amy now :-)
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  • From ANON - cearrae on October 19, 2006
    Hello. It gets right annoying where we should choose to review. What the hey, I'm here. Loved it - Hermione needs a head shake. Come on - I bet she and Snape have a bambino... yeah?
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