Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Dance With The Devil

By : alissaevans444

From ANON - Queen Celestia on November 02, 2006
Particularly active? xD Dear Merlin. Hehe.
That just made me laugh. :)
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From Queeny on November 02, 2006
That widbrimmed flowery gloved Severus just TURNED ME ON! :D [to laughter!]
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From ANON - angel on November 02, 2006
... ~blink blink ~ that was hot i love it ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please more more i would love to read more ... later for now

angel
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From ANON - Citten on November 02, 2006
you just can't update enough for me! the last three chapters have been wonderful! (and very quick on the updates :)) you are also not rushing the story and that makes it even better so thank you now the question that i have will they really wait until the end of the school year before they deside to have a baby or will something happen that will bring it about sooner than expected? if not that is fine too i was just asking and will they truely start showing signs of there true feeling, love, or whatever? well i will bewaiting for the next chapter!!!
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From ANON - Lexy Malfoy on November 01, 2006
I've just started getting into Severus/Hermione. (I'm a draco/hermione OTP at heart) and found this fic. I've read it just now from beginning upto where you've written it and I'm completly enthralled with this fic. I'm loving thier relationship and I'm very intrigued where this is going.

Keep up the good work and I'll be keeping an eye out for you next update!
Lexy
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From ANON - lisa on November 01, 2006
Ohh myy. Severus certainly wastes no time. I love how there is so much more to Severus than his being the cold harsh Potions Master Professor. Perhaps Hermione may teach him a lil about the other side of things. I love how he is honest and not ashamed of admitting what he is or what he feels. Good chappies. Love it. More please. Update soon Please.
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From ANON - angel on October 31, 2006
that was was great i love it and how tibby told mione about mother hood .. i lvoe it ..please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please udpate soon i would love to read more .. later for now

angel
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From ANON - Citten on October 26, 2006
well i finally caught up with all the chapters, and i love this story! one thing though please try not to skip a lot with chapters and i love long, long, long stories! can't wait to read the next chapter!
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From ANON - for me to know and for you to find out on October 14, 2006
Ok, i like *some* points of your story, (or i wouldn't take the time to review like this. Please treat this as hints to better your writing)

BUT (a very, very, very big but...)
you tend to write the same bullshit claptrap as that ms_figg dude.

Get a BETA!
Get a BRITPICKER! (i would not dream of uploading my stories without them, especially b/c i'm not english)
Your story NEEDS a rape warning. Even if it isn't HG he's raping - which i do not have a problem with, pair of as you like - it still is rape.

And please, please, please, please, PLEASE (i'm beginning to sound like that angel who apparantly can't review and write normally, jeez) READ THE BOOKS!

Your Snape is ooc, but i can see why you would hold a view for a Dom Snape.
But you are grossly mistaken if you think Hermione would (innitially?) react like that. She is bossy, she hates being called 'Mione (do you WANT to be attacked by canaries?) and it is plain that you are abusing her, just because she is one of the minority of female caracters in the books. If you just want to write D/s and such, please refrain from abusing JKR's work we all know and love and post on alt.com. If you DO like the HGSS-ship because of their caracters etc. you need to stay more IC. Work longer on chapters, especially dialogue, there is more to a story than smut. Use the HP-lexicon, use half-bloodprince.org. Use build up, it's great forplay. ;-)

I hope these were some helpful points and that you will care more about the quality of your work than the quantity.
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Thank goodness it was slightly awkward between the two. Actually I now want to write an awkward sex scene.
Darn you and giving me ideas. *shakes fist*
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Well. This marriage is going to be.. different.
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Dun dun duun. Foreshadowing etc. :p Spheres of light. I feel like I should do that in a story of mine. MaybeI will.
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Ah a twisted Severus.
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Whoa not sure if I would have a bachelorette party in Snape Manor..
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From ANON - Queen Celestia on October 14, 2006
Ah I must point out [although most likely this has already been pointed out] that you have numerous spelling errors. So try rechecking or have someone else check over the chapter to correct it before posting? :)
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