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Reviews for Party of Two

By : harrystrulove
  • From GuardianOfLight on December 30, 2006
    Nice little fic, always good to find a nice simple Harry/Hermione PWP story.

    I'm not going to say anything about the slightly energetic first time for either of them becuase as you said you did warn us and its our choice whether or not to read the story or not. Plus I know how annoying it can be when people don't read your notes one of my stories has a Female Blaise in it which I warned people about in my notes but people just refuse to read them and of course felt the need to correct me in them.

    Nice fic, I look forward to reading more Harry/Hermione from you.

    GuardianOfLight
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  • From ANON - Hermionevixen on December 16, 2006
    Hey Ignore what some of these idiots who are saying they are giving CONSTRUCTIVE criticisim
    ...cough cough...BULLSHIT..cough cough!!!! I Think you're a great writer! I liked your story and the plot is awesome! hope to see more from you in the future!
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  • From ANON - nani on December 14, 2006
    I have no problems and PWP's. That's why I'm at this site: I don't particularly care if the characters are OOC or not. I think you take your writing a little too seriously, judging by your Author's notes. Sometimes people will not like your fic: just ignore them and move on.

    I thought this was pretty good. The semi-plot was a good way to get harry in Hermione's house, and sex was pretty cool. Some of your metaphor's could've been better (shimmying is wobbling or vibrating and, while it sounds interesting, I don't think that's what you were aiming for) but they don't distract from the sex. I enjoyed it, so there's no problem with what you wrote. Try to expand with more foreplay: Harry didn't play with Hermione's mounds as much as he seemed to want to.

    I don't come to this site expecting to see anyone in-character. If they were, there wouldn't be any adult fan fiction. I'm just glad that you're willing to admit that yours are OOC. I enjoyed your little piece of smut just fine.
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  • From ANON - sticky on November 20, 2006
    I would like to say that I personally enjoyed your story. But I also have to agree that it was a little overdone. Everything was too... described. Don't get me wrong, I like adjectives as much as the next girl, but the extent of your descriptiveness left nothing to the imagintion. This isn't always a good thing, especially in smut because then it comes off as cheesy and forced. This is just a suggestion, mind you. I'm just offering constructive criticism in the truest sense of the term; my intention is not to offend you. I can tell you're a good writer, but it seems that your descriptiveness overshadows the way the story flows. There's so much to describe, but simple is ALWAYS best.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 20, 2006
    Well, I thought you story was great, no matter what all of the other reviewers said.
    Writing is hard work, and I am glad that you took the time to write it. I appreciated it!!! :)
    And I think it would take a lot of guts to post anything on the internet, I myself would never post what I write on the internet. Gosh... if my parents found out if I wrote something like this. Yikes!
    So thanks for the amazing story! Keep up the good work! And don't let a couple of stupid obnoxious reviewers let you down! :)
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  • From ANON - Lioncourt on November 15, 2006
    Well, I just skipped right up to 'the very bad porn' which, by the way, I would like to call 'the very hot porn'. I dont think I skipped the build-up because it was badly written.. I'm just in an impatient mood. *grins*
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  • From ANON - Paris on November 14, 2006
    I really liked your story, i really think you should write more. You have good writing skills and your story is easy to follow. Don't worrie bout the idiots who think they are so good and are the best at everything themselves putting down your work. If they really don't like it they wouldn't read it. so chin up and keep up the good work and write more!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - SailorVegeta on November 13, 2006
    Wow! This is good hun! I loved it! When I read what was on the added section, I have to addmit, I wasn't too happy about what those reveiwers wrote. It clearly states in the summary that it's a PWP... T_T But I think your story was awesome! A great job for a first time. Much better then my first one! Keep up the great work! ^^
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  • From ANON - Nick on November 13, 2006
    hey i lvoed it and i cant w8 for the next chapters to me it the best ive redad all through the site
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  • From ANON - Kotaro on November 12, 2006
    story overall was not 2 bad, some weird uses of words. I think your play on words and how they relate might be better for a younger audiance (PG13?) Either way, keep writing

    Signed: ~Kotaro~
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  • From ANON - thewall28304 on November 12, 2006
    Great story and very hot. I would like to read a sequel to this story. It was very,very good and keep up the excllent work. I loved every hot minute of this story.
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  • From ANON - sexluva on November 10, 2006
    Awesome story.
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  • From ANON - Christy on November 09, 2006
    I thought it was a great story...you did give people fair warning at the top before the story began so they need to fuck off with those harsh reviews...don't listen to them they are probably just envious of this story..you did an awesome job..keep it up..
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 08, 2006
    sorry but i completely agree with him...
    truck-load of cum yeah thats super sexy.
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  • From ANON - Little Astronaut 12 (Anon) on November 08, 2006
    > OK, I'm glad you didn't think my story was BAD, but may I remind you that I gave fair warning about the issues
    > you addressed? If you paid any attention at all to my Author's Notes, then you knew damn well that the story
    > didn't HAVE a plot, that it would be pure smut, AND that both Harry and Hermione would be OOC! Don't EVEN
    > tell me that you didn't know what to expect!

    ROFL! Did you even read what I've written? There are different ways in telling a smutty story as yours. The problem with your story is, that your wording is really cheap, as used by a 5$ crack-whore. And every story has a plot, even if it is PWP smut! Yes, even your story has a plot, even if it is barely there.

    > Harry's quivering, pulsating member releasing a truckload of cum into her hungry twat?

    This is a description which is highly unerotic as are most of your descriptions. They are dishonorabling the Potterverse. If you want to write a smutty !and! erotic story, you have to stop using such descriptions. You can use such words in dialogue (even if it is OOC), but not in descriptions. Your story is a cheap porn of the worst kind.

    And if you can't stand constructive criticism you should not read your reviews. Better ... you shouldn't even publishing your stories.
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