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Reviews for Party of Two

By : harrystrulove
  • From ANON - Moca on November 07, 2006
    I liked it.. good porn hahahaha...... but you put THE END .... you're not going to continue?
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  • From ANON - Nathan on November 07, 2006
    I never mind a PWP smut fic, that's not the problem. Neither is their OOCness.

    "...her clit tingled and salivated..." (Her clit salivated?)

    "...tasting the bit of vanilla cream that had formed there." (What guy is going to taste like vanilla cream?)

    "...she shimmied up and down his pole." (Ouch!)

    "..Harry's quivering, pulsating member releasing a truckload of cum into her hungry twat?" (HAHAHA!)

    Yup, this is porn alright. Very bad porn.

    Too bad, because I think you could actually be a very good writer if you weren't trying so hard with the silly euphemisms and outlandish imagery. It's way, way over the top in this fic.

    Could have been very sexy. But it's just inadvertently humorous and gross.

    I hope you try again.

    P.S. This is meant to be CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.
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  • From ANON - Grace on November 07, 2006
    that was... uh... lets just say i'm gonna go get my boyfriend.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 07, 2006
    It's a shame that you are deleting reviews if they are not exclusively a praise of your writing. Your word choice is too cheap for a first time. The hole plot is unrealistic. Don't get me wrong, the story is not bad, but it is not perfect too. Hope you are not deleting this review too.
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  • From ANON - Rayder04 on November 07, 2006
    Quite good, really kinky but with some nice feelings, of course to rushed but quite understable to a short story, I will like to see a continuation soon, maybe Harry giving her birthday present?

    JO
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  • From ANON - Damon Blade on November 07, 2006
    any chance of another chapter? becasue that was some of the hottest sex I have ever read for Harry Hermione fic on tis sight.
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  • From ANON - matthiasblack on November 06, 2006
    I enjoyed it and hope you write more but with Harry and some other lesser used female character. Good luck with your future writing.
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  • From ANON - lisa on November 06, 2006
    Omg my screen is fogged. lol wow. Yay Harry and Hermione. some birthday present lol.
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  • From ANON - Avanell on November 06, 2006
    Oh, my! Loved it. Lots of good smut. No pansy Harry.
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