Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for The Heaviest Burden of All

By : InfernalParadise

From Alabaster on May 09, 2007
more. please.

i think this story is interesting at teh very least and it has lucius and mmm
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From ANON - Anon on April 16, 2007
mm,
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From LaBibliographe on April 02, 2007
Chapter 8: Hey, I'm not taking blame (or credit) for Sheryl's tribulations. It's all her fault for being Voldie's daughter. Goodness, Lucius and Severus are both just two sides of the same coin, both horndogs and both nasty customers. Will Sheryl ever be saved? There's no one in the story who could do it, is there?

I guess more mayhem and nonconsensual shenanigans will ensue, but so far Sheryl's taking to it like a duck to water, probably her daddy's genes. I don't suppose this is going to have a happy ending, but I can always hope. Unfortunately there isn't a knight in shining armor that I can see and Sheryl's designated for a bloodbath later in which she sounds doomed.

My tolerance for heavy evil okay, but for sadness it is minimal as you know, so I hope the lemonade doesn't turn into a Bloody Mary. (Or bloody Sheryl.) I vote to let her walk away at the end somehow. Maybe back to that Bulgarian who'll start to look a whole lot better after Lucius and Severus get through with her.
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From LaBibliographe on April 02, 2007
Chapter 7: First Sheryl almost gains the holy grail (and we all know what that is, don't we?) then Lucius denies her, thinking of his own skin belatedly. Then Voldie lets Lucius know Sheryl is his to play with (can I dredge up any sympathy for someone who's going to be sipping from that holy grail soon? NO), but at the last minute adds Severus to Lucius' bedroom plans (or maybe that's dungeon plans, I'm not sure.) Sheryl gets them BOTH? Where's the fairness in that? Does that dungeon (or bed) have room for four? One of the men can't always be serviced by one female. Sheryl is going to need some back up. **Labib bravely steps forward** I'll volunteer. Pay no attention to the drool, it's uh... for lubrication...yeah, lubrication.

And this chapter isn't considered a lemon??

Thank you for dedicating this chapter to me. I'm vastly honored, Gaps.
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From LaBibliographe on February 09, 2007
Chapter Six: If I were in Lucius' place I'd check her story out, too. His options are too frightening not to make sure. Fascinating about the dark mark tattoo on his arm and how it reacts to Sheryl - because she's Voldemort's blood? Neat story twist. So Sheryl is softening toward our hunk. No one with ovaries can withstand that gorgeous male. Voldemort's plan was sound until Lucius discovered Sheryl didn't have a maidenhead to lose (evil grin) so that changes EVERYTHING. Do I smell lemons?

Everyone has their own way of writing the sex scenes. I'll be very interested to get your slant on handling the smut. Is it difficult or easy for you to write? Mine just seems to roll out of my fingers and gallops onto the page without me doing much thinking. It's kinda weird. My only interest is in not repeating myself from story to story and that's where most of my more careful cogitating comes in. Maybe Lucius visits me and controls my fingers dictating his actual experiences. (Okay, probably not, but I can dream, can't I?) 8-)

Before I forget, I always put two lines between paragraphs for uploading. It says to do that somewhere in the authors' information. It always worked fine before, but suddenly even with two lines between paragraphs my story all clumps together. I have to fix it after I put it in the text box. I don't do the html for this site either. I use Microsoft Word also. Maybe I'll figure out what went wrong. Oh well, thanks for the feedback.

Now, come on lucky chapter seven, wherein Lucius gets laid. Yes? Please?
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From LaBibliographe on February 05, 2007
Chapter 5: Okay, I never got the rest of the prophecy, but (jumps up and down with her hand in the air) I think I know what the first blood of possession is and who's going to harvest it. Pooh, why does Sheryl get to have Lucius and not me? Maybe I could be the 'decay' part since all the rest seems to be explained. If pushed I'm sure I could come up with a small dental cavity - would that count? I don't have a Bulgarian in my past either. For the rest of my personal history (tiny snicker) don't ask. She gets to sleep with naked Lucius? Some people have all the luck.

I imagine Lucius is not best pleased at Sheryl not being a virgin any more, but 1) Voldemort ignored her for her whole life, 2) Voldie and Lucius must still live in the 50's where there was a virgin on every street corner (nowadays its another type of female on the street corners) and 3) if they have hinged Voldie's rise to total power on one seventeen-year-old's virginity, they deserve what they get.

I didn't mean to make you cringe at the spanking sequence in my story. I do it because it's AFF and I'd rather write my stuff here than at Fanfiction.net because over there it's not explicit enough for me even for the straight lovemaking scenes, which I guess I prefer. Also, I see Lucius and Snape as men who like a bit more variation in their sex lives so I add the kinky stuff to suit their characters. You can ignore it mostly, because our Hermione always gets her man in the end (no pun intended) and any subjugation she goes through is pretty short-lived before she turns the tables on him. It's one of my writing ploys for sucking in Lucius to her wiles. And he always fall for it, doesn't he, poor guy? It may take many chapters, but the guy's a goner as usual. I just love running him through a wringer and having him wind up her devoted lover.

Oh, I wanted to ask, are you having trouble uploading your story with paragraphs? All of a sudden my chapters upload with no paragraphs, just one big lump, and I have to separate the paragraphs again in the upload box. It's happening to me on Shiloh's web site now, too. Really irritating. Are you putting 2 empty lines between each paragraph? It looks like your paragraphs kinda separate better than mine do, but not completely. It causes me a lot of extra work.

Thank you for updating Sheryl's story and I'll wait patiently for her knickers to be checked. Take your time. And thank you for the lovely email. I'm glad your mom got a nice position near you. LaBib.
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From ANON - LaBibliographe on January 12, 2007
Chapter 4: Did Lucius make Sheryl sleep all those hours? Hmmm. If so, why? Was something else going on he didn't want her to know about? And the 'poem' - I don't get the rest, but the first blood of possession sounds lemony. I do like that Lucius keeps up his estate. So there's one redeeming quality in a paucity of them, unfortunately - oh, who cares? The guy's hot!

You haven't killed off Narcissa yet? What's holding you back? Hop to it, Gaps. Needless to say, she's not a favorite of mine. I don't mind Lucius committing mayhem and selfishness and politically motivated homicide, but I get antsy about Lucius fooling around with a story's heroine, if he's still married. Dunno why. Maybe I just want the heroine to have a clear shot at him for herself and his having a wife makes that difficult. Now Molly and Arthur can be married all they want with my blessing (like - duh - who'd want Arthur anyway?)

Funny - in real life if I had to be married to either Arthur or Lucius, I'd marry Arthur (okay, after maybe one scorching night with Lucius) but in fantasy, gimme Lucius every time. So is he going to find a way into Sheryl's knickers soon? UST is good, too. Now that I'm totally sucked into the story, update please!!
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From LaBibliographe on November 29, 2006
Great story so far. Fascinating storyline - Voldemort having a child. I loved all the names you called Lucius - "killer-machine", "nasty insect", and best of all, "sex-god of the universe". I wanted to shove Sheryl aside and sit on that bed instead when Lucius used his "long, elegant fingers' to raise her chin. She's got him in a bedroom and didn't take advantage? Unbelievable. But it looks like she's going to succumb in the future. I'll happily wait through the UST for Lucius to make his move. Chapters and chapters of them dancing around each other, coming closer and closer. Absolutely YUMMY!!

When you update, I'll be here. Other Female Characters can be sexy partners... 8-)
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From InfernalParadise on November 24, 2006
Thx for your review! I so had to laugh... ;) The "bold front and the underlining" weren't intended. I'm at war with html and with posting things on the internet in general. They always look so lovely when I write them, but once I adapt them for the internet my personal apocalypse starts... *sigh* I tried to change it for good after I posted it, but it didn't want to be changed. So what can I do?? I'm very proud to give you lessons in style, though... ;P And here's another chapter in another new outfit. Gods, it's driving me nuts... *lol*
Oh, and just in case it didn't properly get through: you're the first (and only so far) who reviewed on this story (and it was even a hilarious review). You made my day! And you definitely made Lucius' cuz now he's up to new chapters... :) THX A LOT!
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From ANON - LaBibliographe on November 23, 2006
If Voldemort is so terrifyingly intelligent, why did he leave his daughter in the hands of Lucius Malfoy? lol I liked the way Harry Potter's thoughts were finding their way into Voldemort. You already have the female in Lucius' clutches, so I'm hooked. Can he keep his hands (and other things) to himself? I doubt it. Then he'll have to answer to Voldie. Good stuff. Please continue.

I'm also impressed by the bold font and the underlining. I may have to check into that for my next story. You learn something new every day. Thanks for today's lesson. 8-)
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