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Reviews for The Pet Mistress-NEW chapter!

By : HildaMalfoy
  • From ANON - Anon on January 28, 2007
    my god, i love this story.

    i can't wait for more!!!
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  • From angelnomiko on January 28, 2007
    wow that was great ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon i would love to read more .. later for now

    angel
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  • From ANON - Lyssa on January 28, 2007
    Impatient reader here...write FASTER!!
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  • From pickles87 on January 25, 2007
    good chapter. see severus dreams do come true... waiting for more. p
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  • From hermionesnape85 on January 24, 2007
    I am glad you updated so fast....more please soon I love the story!
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  • From ccino49 on January 24, 2007
    Oh you gotta post again. And soon. I just know that there's gonna be some hot action with this one. I'm lovin it already an I only found the story 5 mins ago. Hurreeeeeeee!
    ccino
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  • From whereswaldo821 on January 24, 2007
    more more more... give us a nice LONG chapter next time
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  • From angelnomiko on January 23, 2007
    wow ... sev is getting his dream come true ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon i would love to read more .. later for now

    angel
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 23, 2007
    damn that lucky hermione..

    i would love to be severus' pet..
    now, that would be a dream come true


    the story is amazing, can't wait for more!
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  • From Citten on January 23, 2007
    well, well, well, what will happen now i do hope that you have lots, and lots more well i will be waiting! :)
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  • From on January 23, 2007
    Hmm... Interesting.
    I liked the ending line "would he take advantage of her now?". It shows Snape questioning/fighting his dark/light side.
    Just a couple of things:
    I noticed that you used a Hyphen incorrectly a couple of times. When you want to turn two words into one word you use it like this: Car-Wash
    But when you want to put a hyphen in the middle of a sentence you need spaces like this: Blah blah blah - blah blah blah.
    Also, be careful of your verb tense usage. Since your story is in past tense, just make sure that it stays consistant (I think I noticed a little flub of this somewhere).
    Anyway, Keep on truckin'!
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  • From Amaris on January 23, 2007
    good start so far but for the future stories its crucio not crutio. can't wait to read your next chapters i just looove an evil? snape. :)
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  • From on January 23, 2007
    BAH!
    I knew I shouldn't have read this!
    I said to myself "It only has one chapter... if you like it, you'll just be frustrated and upset that there isn't more. Just wait a few weeks until there's more chapters." I said, "Just wait!"
    But noooo I had to go read it anyway!
    And guess what happened?
    I'm frustrated and upset that there isn't more!
    So write more, you!
    And may I humbly suggest that you make your chapters just a little longer? A few short ones are fine, but if you make them v. short all the time your audience will become inpacifiable! (if that's even a word)
    Did you really mean servant when referring to the man who brought Hermione her food? Generally a servant is lower than the person they are serving... It's not a big deal, but it just popped out at me as strange.
    Although I did think he was very creepy and well written. I especially liked the "drooling over legs" line... it made me shiver!
    Also, you might want to be careful with how much you use ellipses. I know they are very lovely things to tippy-tap on the keyboard, and that they make your sentences sound more like speech... but if you use them too much they lose their specialness and get sort of obnoxious. I have this problem in my own writing; I have to make a conscious effort not to overuse them.
    Here's a tip: Occasionally you can use a semicolon in place of an ellipsis (but not always).

    Anyway! I'm very intrigued by the premise of your story, and I hope you update soon. Are you going to talk about how Hermione got into this situation in more detail? What about everyone else? Where are they? Are they pets? Are they trying to help Hermione? Hmmmm? ;)
    I hope your lemons are good (purely because I want to read some sexy Snape Master-type lemons, unless of course he wants HERMIONE to be the master... that'd certainly be "unforeseen" and an interesting twist I suppose... You didn't specify Male or Female dom after all)
    A good lemon can make or break the story I think.
    Anyway, Good luck writing more!
    I'll probably review again!
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  • From Aragonsan on January 23, 2007
    Bit short to say something this early.

    Just one thing I've noticed: "her servant" is a wrong term here. She's a prioner and though the person bringing her food is someone's servant and acting on someone's orders he definitely isn't Hermione's servant - that would mean SHE had authority over him which obviously isn't the case. You might want to change it to "warden"/"warder" or "guard" or "caretaker" which is more appropriate to the situation.
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  • From angelnomiko on January 22, 2007
    wow that was a great start ... please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please update soon i would love to read more .. later for now

    angel
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