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Reviews for The Baby Project

By : TMaria
  • From Alabaster on April 25, 2007
    more! please write more this story is quite interesting. I do believe that something should happen and Mione's and Malfoy's baby should have something happen and it doesnt grow the way it is planned, and it lives welll past what the school decided. But thats just what I want...
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  • From ANON - Brilliant on April 24, 2007
    k. thanks! brilliantdemise@yahoo.com
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  • From ANON - Sessh's Sango on April 24, 2007
    Yay!!! You're gonna update!!! I was hoping that you wouldn't just leave this one for a few months like other authors hav done. Thanks sooooooooooo much! :D
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  • From TheEnchantedQuill on April 24, 2007
    I started reading this story last night because somebody tipped me off to it, I finished it this morning. I was addicted to it and I couldn
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  • From ANON - The Charmed One on April 22, 2007
    Brilliant story, but when are yo going to update?! I am waiting!!
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  • From ANON - morwen re on April 19, 2007
    um... this fic is really good, but it's been a long time since the last update... are you still alive?
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  • From ANON - chaos on April 19, 2007
    yo i like the story n all by why u lofting for??? it's been a while u ok? hope u post soon its starting to bug me i don't like lofters.

    note: lofting is another word for procrastinate.
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  • From chelleybelle on April 18, 2007
    Are you ever going to update? I am trying so hard to be patient, but it is so hard!!
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 09, 2007
    Its been forever since this story has been updated. i miss it so much. please please update as so as you can.
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  • From ANON - Lotte on April 09, 2007
    I so love this story - Is there a way to let me know when you update ???

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  • From ANON - Jenn on April 09, 2007
    Hey, I was wondering what's going on here?! CONTINUE?! *big puppy dog eyes*

    Pretty please...

    xox,
    Jenn
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  • From evilfairy on April 01, 2007

    Hi, still reading (up to chapter 13 and even skipped doing homework {stupid college}) I felt the need to make a note for you. We all agree that your story is good but the bocks of FLASHBACK/ ENDFLASHBACK really interrupt the flow of the story. If the information is important (and indeed, most of it is) keep it in the block of preceding text.

    e.g.-

    "...And then finally ;

    3. Breastfeeding - But this class ended up being postponed as soon as Seamus asked whether the lads could give it a go, too.

    As the class departed, Hermione was left feeling completely bewildered.

    What had just happened?

    They did some breathing exercises...and Malfoy was getting praised for Helping Hermione by 'showing' her how to do it!

    AND THEN McGonagall showed the boys how to give the girls a simple, yet effective massage to help calm them down during their labor....

    Hermione could still remember it;

    F L A S H B A C K

    *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

    'Now, just lean back into your Partners chest, and let him put his hands gently onto your shoulders-'

    '-OUCH!' Pansy shouted again. 'Longbottom, I SWEAR I am going to throttle your windpipes in a minute!'..."

    Could be-

    "...And then finally;
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  • From evilfairy on March 28, 2007
    Hi, still reading (up to chapter 13 and even skipped doing homework {stupid college}) I felt the need to make a note for you. We all agree that your story is good but the bocks of FLASHBACK/ ENDFLASHBACK really interrupt the flow of the story. If the information is important (and indeed, more of it is) keep it in the block of preceding text.

    e.g.-

    "...And then finally ;

    3. Breastfeeding - But this class ended up being postponed as soon as
    Seamus asked whether the lads could give it a go, too.


    As the class departed, Hermione was left feeling completely bewildered.

    What had just happened?

    They did some breathing exercises...and Malfoy was getting praised for
    Helping Hermione by 'showing' her how to do it!

    AND THEN McGonagall showed the boys how to give the girls a simple, yet
    effective massage to help calm them down during their labor....

    Hermione could still remember it;


    F L A S H B A C K

    *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

    'Now, just lean back into your Partners chest, and let him put his hands
    gently onto your shoulders-'

    '-OUCH!' Pansy shouted again. 'Longbottom, I SWEAR I am going to throttle
    your windpipes in a minute!'..."

    Could be-

    "...And then finally;

    3. Breastfeeding - But this class ended up being postponed as soon as
    Seamus asked whether the lads could give it a go, too.

    'Now, just lean back into your Partners chest, and let him put his hands
    gently onto your shoulders-'

    '-OUCH!' Pansy shouted again. 'Longbottom, I SWEAR I am going to throttle
    your windpipes in a minute!'..."

    .

    .

    .

    As the class departed, Hermione was left feeling completely bewildered.

    What had just happened?

    They did some breathing exercises...and Malfoy was getting praised for
    Helping Hermione by 'showing' her how to do it!

    AND THEN McGonagall showed the boys how to give the girls a simple, yet
    effective massage to help calm them down during their labor...."

    (apart from butchering your masterful text) easier to read right? Too meny flashback can make your readers wonder why we aren't just reading it first hand if the action just happened a moment ago (Flash back can also make on wonder why so meny drugs were consumed. This isn't the 60's, 70's or 80's ^_-).

    You also need to punctuate your dialog.

    You are probably tired of long reviews. Sorry ^_^.

    -Talia
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  • From evilfairy on March 27, 2007
    I like your story so far. One thing though; offspring already is plural (and one word).
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  • From Calliope on March 25, 2007
    Aw, babe! This scene was sooooooooo cute...Seriously... What is the film thats from? I've not seen it, but now I wanna... Oh dear.. Looking forward to the next chapter, and best again to your step mother and yourself- hope you are coping ok, and much love!
    Cal
    xx
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