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Reviews for Stalking Maya

By : MayaJensen
  • From LaBibliographe on March 12, 2007
    Chapters 2-4: Oh, my goodness, I do so very much like your story. Opening up spaces between the paragraphs has fixed what was really minor to begin with, but now the suspense has built and I can't wait to see what Maya will choose to do.

    It was so clever of her not to jump into Lucius' bargain without checking that it truly was Hermione in the cell. Smart girl! Lucius Malfoy is so evil, but so sex-obsessed - just the way he should be - perfect!! What a Bad Boy - gotta love 'em.

    The threesome was delicious - I always thought Lucius and Severus could easily enjoy sex that way so it's great you wrote that in. Light and dark as foils for each other.

    I guess my only question is why did Lucius tire of Hermione? Just nosy...
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  • From ccino49 on March 12, 2007
    This story has a hell of a lot of promise. You've got off to a goos start and I for one hope you carry on. It's slightly different from the usual and that apeals to me. Keep going and post again soon.
    ccino
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  • From InfernalParadise on March 10, 2007
    This truly is your first story? It's wonderful, hon, so don't worry! I absolutely adore a threesome including Severus and Lucius, and since you almost got straight to the point in chapter 1, this story promises more great lemons, doesn't it? ;) Besides, it has this typical evil side of Lucius in it which makes it all the better.
    Please continue with your lovely, intriguing story! :)

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  • From LaBibliographe on March 07, 2007
    Chapter One: Hello. I like the suspense of your story line. And the idea of Lucius Malfoy "invading" Hogwarts as the new DADA professor. He's already off to a nasty start.

    I do think you would be smart to get a beta to vet your grammar and spelling. And one tip that I believe is in the Resouces/FAQ section under Info/Support (see top of web site on right side). Always put two lines between your paragraphs. Otherwise, as you can see, the paragraphs don't separate very well, making your story harder to read.

    If you take care with your grammar and spelling and verb tenses, etc. I think the story will be very interesting - and sexy - to read. You certainly have enough imagination for a writer. All the rest is mechanical which can be solved by a good beta.
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