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Reviews for The broken, The unwanted, and The Inhuman.

By : ProfessorSibly
  • From ANON - Jo on May 31, 2007
    Oh my gosh, I really want to smack Draco upside his head right now. That was just wrong.
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  • From Leentjef on May 27, 2007
    very very good story
    keep going and post soon
    bye bye
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  • From LupinsLady on May 26, 2007
    What did he do? Please don't make us wait too long!!! This story is really getting good. Please update soon.
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  • From stasa on May 26, 2007
    OMG, why did he do that? Why, why, why couldn
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  • From vanessaclarke on May 26, 2007
    I like this story but you 'really' have to do something about your spelling and punctuation. In this last chapter, practically every second word was spelled wrong. It makes it very hard to read. Other than that, you're doing well, I think it's quite interesting.
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  • From bananasforyou on May 26, 2007
    wow i think draco said ohh no bc harry prolly going to get pregnant....its what i think.
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  • From SoriaUndead on May 26, 2007
    Hahaha! What a lovely little twist ^_^
    Maybe Harry won't be so high strung now he's gotten some ass... well more like given some ass #evil perverted snicker#
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  • From thrnbrooke on May 26, 2007
    Oh this is bad! Very very bad! I soooo need chapter 13!
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  • From MrGalion on May 26, 2007
    Wow. Amazing
    Update soon.
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  • From NightLo on May 26, 2007
    So technically speaking - Draco has committed a crime - rxxxx Harry (sorry, just hate this word so much), and consequently, Harry would just confirm once again that Draco needs sex/submission more than love...under such situation, how would a broken unwanted Harry react? What would Draco do...to prove that he really loves Harry?

    Actually after this incident, I knew why we may no longer want the two together, as this is a crime. I must say, Draco must prove his love well before a happy ending is set...maybe helping Harry, protecting Harry from attacks...when one thinks he is unwanted and broken (and used, losing all pride and dignity), usually they will commit some suicidal actions...better let Draco find out and stop Harry... or even stand up and fight against death eaters/Narcissa/Lucius!

    Well...I must say, Ron, Hermione, Blaise and Pansy are not helping either, they just want to save themselves but not Draco and Harry.
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  • From dropedonmyhead on May 20, 2007
    *claps* I've not read in a bit and this one was happily the best I read today for a new fic to me! *meaning I'd not read it before* I do hope you continue, was the best I read today!
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  • From SoriaUndead on May 20, 2007
    wow... way to leave a crazy evil cliff hanger of anticipation and doom!! >_O

    don't be mean... anticipation is a bitch... it makes my tummy hurt v_v
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  • From ANON - rAiNwAtEr on May 19, 2007
    I find this story interesting so far. Please update again soon.
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  • From ANON - Becky - chapter 2 on May 19, 2007
    In the second chapter, you wrote: 'So they all came as early as they could, and got the first compartment in the second train.' What second train? I thought there was only one train to Hogwarts. The second sentence makes even less sense: 'The 5 of the 6 teenage heroes that had found the Horcruxes and defended the Dark Lord in the same place at the same time were very rare.' Why were they *defending* the Dark Lord? And the 'at the same time' part makes no sense either. Were they *defending* the Dark Lord while finding Horcruxes? And what's rare? Horcruxes? Dark Lords? People who defend Dark Lords?

    You should do something about your run-on sentences too.

    Halfway though the second chapter is as far as I'm going to read. If you ever decide to get a beta reader, let us know. I'll read the rest then.

    - Becky

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  • From ANON - Becky on May 19, 2007
    So far your story don't make much sense. For example, it appears you're writing about Harry in the beginning. (What other thin, abused, dark haired boy--who has a friend that matches the description of Ginny--is the reader to assume you're writing about? You gave no clues to the contrary. You should have established your character at the beginning rather than force your reader to guess. I had to read it twice to figure-out why 'Ginny' was calling 'Harry' 'Theo.') I almost stooped reading at this point. I'm assuming you're deliberately being vague to make the reader 'curious.' Instead, it made me think, 'what the hell?'

    There's a second point of confusion in the next portion of the chapter. Are Ron and Hermione communicating telepathically? Or are the italics their thoughts, and they are reading each other's expressions? Once again, you've given no clues otherwise.

    The next few parts are easier to comprehend.

    You should also have a more thorough beta reader look over your story. There's quite a few errors in grammar and punctuation. Also, a good beta reader would have pointed out the issues with your plot.

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