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Reviews for Girl With The Broken Smile

By : odogoddess
  • From RogueMudblood on April 01, 2012
    Absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed every bit, especially how you transitioned between scenes. That you told the mundane events, without dwelling on them, and still moved this brief piece along. Thank you for sharing, and happy writing!
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 10, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 23, 2007
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From DarqueHart on March 20, 2007
    This is wonderful! Humor and pain woven together in a concisely written tale. I've laughed and cried through the first chapter... Very Good!!
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  • From hermioneandseverusfan82 on March 18, 2007
    so was severus really a virgin or did he have sex with hookers and was just virgin romanticly.
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  • From Sampdoria on March 18, 2007
    What a beautiful story!!! I loved it, great work!!!
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  • From CryingCinderella on March 18, 2007
    How very touching. Your first chapter was astonishing, by far the better chapter. I felt like once you got into the second chapter you were really rushing through the progression of their relationship, not really allowing times for the subtle changes to take place, and having high emotional builds that stirred from nowhere, climaxed and vanished into the next one before they'd fully been developed.

    I really enjoyed the intimate detail of her caring for him in the first chapter. This is not to say that the second chapter was completely wasted, for it was not. It was nice as well, just rushed, I felt. I did like the neighbors, and I honestly feel like they should have made a fuss again, perhaps at the end. Heh.

    It was a nice capture of Lucius, and I must say I was surprised that you didn't have Severus trying to amble his way down the stairs and appear the hero, that would have been cliche and you avoided it.

    The sex was wonderful, and you're a master at conveying his humiliation and embarrassment. The inclusion of the pensieve explanation was quite touching.

    Overall, I don't believe I've ready too many Severus/Hermione recovery stories, mostly because I've been meaning to write one myself, and when I have an idea for one, I generally tend to stay away from stories of that type because I don't want to feel like all of my ideas have already been used. (I know that they most likely have because there are only 10 original plot lines in the world, but if I don't know about them/haven't read them, it makes me feel like mine is super original. ;p )

    However, this one gleaned my interest because it was listed as a two chapter, complete fiction. I was curious to see how one does a recovery fic in two chapters, and I must say I'm not disappointed, although I still state my qualms with the rushed feeling in chapter 2, but that's only because you had such a beautiful build in the first chapter as far as how their relationship was turning, that I sort of expected it for the second go round, though I guess this is how one does a recovery fic. in two chapters.

    It was a good story. Please don't mistake my qualms with the overall rush effect of chapter as a disapproval of that chapter or the story. I thought there were parts of it that were very touching, like Harry's scene.

    You've a mastery over the fandom world, for the most part the characters felt enough in character that they were recognizable. I don't necessarily mind OOC, but when it's so OOC that you wonder if you could just swap names around, then...needless to say you avoided that. :)

    My kudos to you for a story well written. Keep up the good work.

    ~CC
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