Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for A Deal

By : CrimsonRogue

From robert77833 on May 29, 2015
Hey, I'm not sure if you'll see this review given how long it's been, but I was actually wondering if there was any chance you could spare me a copy of your old fic which you removed from here.

It was a Harry/Lily story called Crimson Shades of Grey.

Please email me at robert77833 @ hotmail . com if you have it still, thanks.
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From suicune132 on February 26, 2010
Narcissa Malfoy

Bellatrix Lestrange

Cho Chang

Parvati Patil

Padma Patil

Aurora Sinistra (Astronomy Professor)

These are the ones i would want to see.
Hopefully you will update soon
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From vipertooth on June 22, 2009
please continue this story and update soon.
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From Yamizenchou on April 20, 2008
Well, if you ever update I think Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Sinistra would be the best ones to join Harry. Hopefully, you do continue because I rather like this idea.
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From Isebas1 on March 06, 2008
Dude you definately need to update this. I can't wait to read more.
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From vipertooth on October 12, 2007
Please Update Soon I really like this story.
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From dianahuntresss on July 05, 2007
Ok I like the way you've explained the story thus far... as for possible pairings are you asking for one-offs or more long term relationships...

for one offs.. or even now and again...I can see

Narcissa Malfoy (just because of her position in society his incubus as a dominate will likely at least want a taste) (If harry gets to be a Slyterin then he will likely associate with Draco to some extent and that will give him access to Narcissa)

Bellatrix Lestrange (possibly if she gets deaged to about 20-25 could become a long term interest as opposed to just a now and then) She's powerful and not likely to submit to him quickly which will interest him. Bella is drawn to power so she will likely seek him out at first for "her lord" and from this will learn of Harry's power... making the transition to Harry's woman (even if he doesn't see her as such from the beginning) access again thru Draco and Narcissa as well as from her own deeds seeking him out for Voldie

Daphne Greengrass I can possibly see her as a school interest but not much more I really think he's going tokeep looking for more mature and experienced women

Tracey Davis same as with Daphne

Susan Bones she will likely have been a childhood friend and may be the "Best Friend" because of this and not overly involved in his biological needs because she fullfills the other nitche

Hannah Abbot she's a bit too woosie

Cho Chang hate this whiner with a passion

Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson i really don't see him going for the Gryffindor girls that way... plus they were pretty well paired up already. He enver really say them as girls they were always part of his team ...

Lavender Brown too much the slut

Parvati Patil and Padma Patil after the disaster of the ball I dont see either of them with him especially as they didn't see him as Harry but as eye candy that would garner them attetion

Aurora Sinistra (Astronomy Professor) she's kind of asexual in the books but as an incubus I could see him going for her if she has any kind of presence especially to help fullfill his needs while at school

Su Li never heard of her so would be a definate no

Pansy Parkinson way to whiney and self centered as well as thinks she's Draco's

Megan Jones never heard of her so would be a definate NO

Blaise Zabini (Female) blaise is male ... I can an incubus have same sex relationships because its about the sex not their gender but i dislike when the sex/gender of cannon characters is changed...

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From bladehunter on June 26, 2007
Hm. Decent start... don't really mind the lack of fun stuff given that Harry is, ya know, ~15 months old. As for Harry's later... companions, what counts as "too many"? Obviously, everyone on the list would be too many, but do you have some sort of number in mind? Also, how old-fashioned are you going to have the wizarding society be - are things like marriage contracts A)normal, B)unusual, but not rare, or C)rare?
Anyways, reading over the "excerpt" and your A.N. in chapter 2 again, it seems like there are already 3 women Harry will have(Lily, Fleur, and Tonks)...

It'd be easiest to start with those I'd definately leave off:
-First, Narcissa Malfoy. Mostly because it is unlikely he'd encounter her often, if it all. Also, even if he does, I'd guess the chapter 2 excerpt infers that if he wanted Narcissa, he'd kill Draco and Lucius. While they may be evil gits, killing persons of such... stature is generally noticed by, well, everyone.
-Pansy Parkinson. The other 3 girls in slytherin would be enough as it is; no reason for Harry to have all 4. That, and she's shown mostly as Malfoy's syncopant.
-Megan Jones - who is she? I looked on the Character list of Mugglenet.com, and couldn't find her.
-Sinistra - She's a professor, and while maybe I'd think of it if Harry was out of schoool, or at least not taking astronomy after 5th year, Harry having her any time before then would just be inviting trouble.
-Cho Chang. I just don't really like her.
-Su Li. I know she's somewhere in the book, but like Megan Jones, I can't find her listed... what year is she even in? If she's younger than Harry, I would think that with him able to get all these older ladies, he would pretty much ignore the younger years as prospective companions unless they were very... impressive or close friends from early on.

-I'm torn on Bellatrix. On the one hand, she'd be attractive to Harry's darker (demonic) side. However, on the other hand, I cannot think of how they'd possibly meet in a non-fighting situation, given that she will probably wind up in Azkaban, and even if she escapes in Harry's fifth year, there's no reason for the ministry rescue mission to occur as it did in canon.

As for others, and who Harry should get, I'd say start with at least one of the girls in Harry's year (probably non-slytherin, given Lily's lineage). Of those, the easiest would probably be Susan Bones, given that Lily would probably be at least sociable, if not friends with Amelia, and that they (Harry and Susan) are presumably heirs to their respective families (though I'm not positive about Susan). The political ties, assuming Amelia becomes DMLE, would also be a big plus.
After Susan, I'd add in Hannah, since I believe they're shown as friends in canon (though this could be just a case of me reading too much fanfiction).
If that's not too many, and you'd be ok with adding three more (for a total of 8 w/o bellatrix, 9 w/), I'd add in one of the following groups:
-Gryffindor chaser trio (Katie, Angelina, & Alicia), though only if Harry's in Gryffindor himself. Can't really see him hanging out with them enough for something to develop if he's not in the same house as them.
-Slytherin trio (Blaise(Female), Tracey, & Daphne), especially if Harry's in Slytherin; though still possible if he's in other houses. Assuming they're portrayed as having some semblance of intelligence and cunning (as opposed to the idiotic attempts at trickery/deceit shown by Draco & co.). They'd probably be at least somewhat attracted to Harry due to his power no matter what house he's in.
-Misc trio (Parvati, Padma, Lavender). Parvati and Padma are Twins. Yes, very chauvenistic of me, but hey. Lavender is kinda iffy, but I included her with this grouping since she's Parvati's friend, and I'd like to assume she's not a total airhead despite her portrayal in the books. Hmmm... had a thought. I don't know how it'd work (especially 'cuz of that pesky sunlight = (dust/burning/actual death) in most vampire mythology), but the Excerpt in chapter 2 mentions Veela & Vampires viewing Incubi as the ultimate mate. Perhaps somehow either have Lavender either arrive at Hogwarts as a vamp, or have her somehow get turned over the summer some year. The 2nd possibility would be an interesting twist; applied to any character(s) mentioned as a possible companion it would provide a valid reason for them to begin pursuit of Harry.

8 or 9 (depending on Bellatrix) should probably be enough; beyond that is probably too many, if 8 or 9 isn't already too many. One last suggestion I do have would be... Myrtle. I'm not sure it'd really count as a pairing for Harry, given her nature, but it could be... interesting.
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From Basal on June 26, 2007
Although you don't want Ginny I still hope you will include her =)
Otherwise I would suggest Bellatrix, Katie Bell and Blaize Zbaini(Female)
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From Sinkingboat on June 26, 2007
Well im a harry/hermione enthusiast but if you def cant involve her not even as a second or third then id say def fem Blaise and Su Li, but hermione... come on.... any way i agree too many woman waters it down. I'm tired of the Narcissa and Bella redemption thing so if you use them i hope its cause harrys a... well what ever he is... nice story but james got screwed in that deal, though one usually does when making deals with satan... nice work

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From xxlizziexx on June 25, 2007
How come Lily couldn't 'apparate' away when James was downstairs with Voldie?
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From MusingsOfApathy on June 25, 2007
Ah, I like your approach here. In answer to your question, I think, more than just collecting as many as possible, each one should fulfill some strategy or desire and for each to be well set up. I agree that too many women spoil the harem. I would also love to see some understanding and choice before the rite for at least a couple of them. A choice if you will. I imagine that would work well for Tonks and Fleur, as they are different. Fleur could even /ask/ that her sister beincluded, but be refused because of the age factor.

Thank you for writing.

Mike (MoA)
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From baneblade on June 25, 2007
nice chappie i assume that he has become part incubi

the twins
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From SurrealDeceptions on June 25, 2007
Angelina Johnson (black females are woefully under-represented in HP fiction, so I say why not her? -Black family- females, on the other hand, are vastly -over-represented- in these sorts of fics. You've already got Tonks, please please please no Black sisters. Done to -death-)

Padma Patil (I'm very much against the idea of doing both twins, personally. In fact, I think Parvati should actively attempt to "rescue" Padma (perhaps for some matter related to Hinuism, or just cause they're sisters). The role reversal alone would be interesting, Parvati is always the gossipy sorta skank friend of gossipy skank Lavender (in fandom at any rate)... here it would be her brainy sister (Padma) who's relegated to a sexual object and her (Parv) who's uncovering something serious and trying to combat it. Just a thought.)

Pansy Parkinson (My personal favourite, and always very mischaracterised by fangirls and arsehole guys. I'll die if you don't use her, I mean it, I'll literally -die-. *orders a coffin online just in case*)

I'm not crazy about harem fics normally, so I chose the characters I not only think would "look good" with Harry, but are less cliche and more interesting beyond the harem premise. I really enjoy the start though, and this chapter is all right as well. Is this a full-on Devil's Advocate xover? If so, is Kevin around and how does he fit into things? Assuming the potion made Harry half-devil just as if Milton had been his daddy all along, will any of the females turn out to be a similar half-breed? Will they be cooking up an antichrist together in her belly? I'll stop with the questions now. Cheers!
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From MrGalion on June 25, 2007
Daphne Greengrass,
Susan Bones,
Hannah Abbot(Only if really shy),
Parvati Patil,
Padma Patil, (Definatly the twins)
Pansy Parkinson (unsure about her)

Love your story so far update soon
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