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Reviews for As Time Goes By

By : fullmoon144
  • From Mystique887 on March 28, 2009
    Umm I just got done reading chapter 4 and I'm not sure if the problem is that you never re-read your own work, if English is your second language, or whatever, but I would suggest getting a beta. There are several grammatical errors as well as the fact that you use text speak an awful lot in your story (i.e. "u" in place of the word "you") Just an observation, I think that if you got a beta reader (someone to proof read your work for any mistakes) the final product would be much better and the 4+ rating may increase to a 5+.
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  • From voldemortsgrl on April 20, 2008
    Wow...that's all I can really say except for more please...
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  • From ANON - BadPerson on November 16, 2007
    Sorry, but I couldn't read more than two paragraphs. Please find a beta reader to correct your spelling and style (three 'then' in three consecutive sentences is too much). Dont't let my criticism keep you from writing, though.
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  • From Jan on September 10, 2007
    Please try making chapter 7 a bit longer then chapter 6, please. :(
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  • From KaeXLi on September 09, 2007
    um i think i like the story but your chapters are soo short im having trouble following the story.
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  • From Heksy on September 09, 2007
    Is this the first time you have written a fic?
    Or is English not your own language?
    I am asking, because there are a lot of mistakes in your first chapter alone and the sentences are written a bit oddly.
    Sorry.
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  • From ANON - walkin on August 24, 2007
    "After 2 hours in the infirmary Poppy the school nurse managed to get Harry breathing again." TWO HOURS?! Harry would be brain damaged. I know there is magic and all but really.
    I think the concept is good but the follow through needs a bit of work. Get a good beta and don't give up.
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  • From Jan on August 23, 2007
    That was an intense chapter, but I think you need a beta for this story, there is a lot of errors.

    Keep trying, and update soon, please.
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  • From anniea on August 22, 2007
    wow please update soon *kisses*
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  • From ANON - chineseartist on August 19, 2007
    well, this certainly has possibilities. i just wish the chapters were longer. oh well, you can just add more! the only thing i thought you could improve on was the descriptive emotion, like what harry and everyone else is feeling, and other non-dialogue parts of the story. you also might want to develop more dialogue, but it's hard with short chapters, so if you do write longer ones, it's something to keep in mind
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  • From ANON - Hine on August 11, 2007
    Good concept, poorly written.
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  • From DamiaEternal on August 11, 2007
    Okay I like the plot line a lot. But this story needs to be beta'd. In a couple of instances you are stuck in repition and in others the ideas are chaotic. You just jump from one thing to another way to quickly to maintain flow. Now by all means I would love to see this story continued and will be watching for you to update as soon as you can.
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