Reviews for Don't Tell Mom!By : Timechild |
Wow. This was really... bad. I don't know if you were trying for intentionally bad or not, but it was just..... nearly unbearable. The first few lines seemed promising, but after that. there seemed to be a total meltdown of writing. It's like the written version of poorly acted, overproduced porn.
It reads as though when you wrote it, you'd never actually experienced anything you wrote about. The sex scenes were skeletal, with the bare minimum, as though reading a quickly jotted porn script. The afterword with McGonagal was completely out of character, and no way in hell a virgin is going to take an ass pounding on the first go with no warning, lube, prep, and do anything other than say 'stop, ow, no'.
I know it's supposed to be fantasy, but the total lack of believability, wrongness of the character depictions, poor dialogue, and worse sex imagery make it cringe-worthy.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo