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Reviews for Revelations of the Heart

By : Bonza87
  • From CamFan4Ever on February 10, 2008
    Love this! Please update soon!
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  • From ANON - RolaOla on January 06, 2008
    Wow, is all I have to say. You know, I've never actually reviewed before on this site. But your story just HAD to make me review!

    Well done! Your story is very simple, yet enthralling at the same time. You don't need to have too much going on in each chapter to grab my attention, which is normally hard for an author to do. And you don't just rush into things unexpectedly, which I find a lot of authors on this site tend to do. Your plotting it out smoothly, not just throwing things in left and right. And I like that you're having Harry so confused on what to do and he isn't just blurting out his feelings (again, a lot of author's downfalls). And Ron as a mentor? Haha, nice touch.

    So please take your time on the next chapter, and I hope you get back to it soon from your hiatus. And again, try to keep this nice pace. It's good for your story :-)
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  • From indiglo676 on December 28, 2007
    Hey Bonza,

    I'm an author too, so I know how awesome it is to get reviews for a story that doesn't seem like it's getting a lot of love. So far I like what you've done, although it feels like your story is going too slow at the same time it's moving too fast - and what I mean by that is that it feels like you're rushing your characters into certain situations but the pace of the story is being slowed down a little by the lack of major action so far. Maybe it's time for you to introduce the character with the jealous and hateful eyes and make him a true antagonist in your plot? Or maybe Harry could happen upon Hermione doing something sexual again. It's up to you, after all, you're the author.

    I liked your homage to Forever Knight. I read that story months ago in one sitting, from dusk til dawn. Eve can really write, can't she?

    Oh, and what's up with Ron in your story? He and Harry seem a little *too* close, if you know what I mean. I never pegged Ron as one to Seek for the other team, but well, you never know....

    I hope you keep writing!
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  • From Saitochan on December 26, 2007
    Hey, nice fic! At first, I thought it was going to be rather short, but it has many elements to go a long long way.

    I really liked the whole story, the way its written and all that, but I don't understand... why is it an Alternate Universe? Either I have some serious memory problems or everything I read seemed according to the books... Although I wouldn't rule out the possibility of me having memory failure.

    Anyway, I'll be expecting your next update, because I really want to know what will happen next. Keep it up and take care!

    P.D. Happy New Year!
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  • From Saitochan on December 23, 2007
    Haha, Dude, I totally get what you're saying. I write fanfiction too (only Naruto for now, but now I've read Deathly Hallows, I'm considering writing Harry Potter as well. Anyway, Christmas has thrown a huge writer's block on my head, so I'm all out of ideas for my unfinished fics. Let's hope we can both write again soon, right? Good luck!

    Oh, yeah. I haven't read your story yet. I'm in a public PC, so I have to download the chapters to read them at home. But I promise to review once I read them! They look pretty good after all!
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  • From scotsgirl on December 13, 2007
    Found this story only today and i like it very much looking forward to the next update. Hope you have a merry xmas and a great new year
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  • From Lilac on December 10, 2007
    I've read all of the chapters now and I can't wait to read the next.. I hope you will have time to write soon with the holidays..
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  • From amyfeddy on December 10, 2007
    Off to a decent start, are you making ron and draco gay? it seems that way, doesn't matter just curious.
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  • From Lilac on December 10, 2007
    I've only read 2 chapters so far and I love it.. great story .. can't wait to read the rest. : )
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  • From ANON - Seiryu_chojin69 on December 05, 2007
    I'm really enjoying the build up your creating in Chapter 3 and 4 please update and soon
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  • From ANON - Seiryu_chojin69 on December 05, 2007
    Whoa Who would've thought. Harry is the focal point to Hermione's masturbation session, where will they go from there what will Harry do, What about Ron? Will he be cool with his best mates hooking up please update. CHEERS
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  • From ANON - Seiryu_chojin69 on December 05, 2007
    Nice first chapter. Not to overbearing, but not to light either, I'l keep reading and reviewing, I'm liking what I'm reading and can't wait to see what happens next. CHEERS
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  • From DarkXavier on November 25, 2007
    Great story, Bonza! I'm loving what I read so far. Descriptive, witty, not to over-the-top smutty. Quite the commendable effort. I look forward to reading your future chapters!

    Just one bit of constructive criticism for you. Your character descriptions and the level of detail that you go into for emotions and interactions is superb. However, knowing about the environment that your characters are situated in is just as important, if not more. Knowing details about the environment that the characters are in can heighten the enjoyment for some people during the more, *cough* private moments, of the characters interactions. Details of a room, smells, light effects, materials, shadows, accents, etc. would all help in this regard. See if you can add a touch of those to your chapters. Might make things more interesting, and you never know if a new idea might pop into your head!

    Also, I've read "Forever Knight" from start to finish, and I desperately want DeliverMeFromEve to continue it. It's an unbelievably amazing fanfiction. I was hooked the first day I started reading it! Unfortunately, Eve hasn't been active on the site for a little while, so I don't know if she ever will.

    Anywho, kudos to you on a stupendous effort! Keep it up! (*cough* Erm...the effort, that is...heh *cough*)

    -DX
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  • From ANON - Petalsoft on October 29, 2007
    Yes! I've finally caught up with my reading and I'm not disappointed!

    Wonderful character development - the dialog lines are very well done.

    Hot scene on the sofa with Hermione! I kept wondering if she knew Harry was there.

    Still looking forward to where this may be going. I hope Harry makes his move soon. I'm curious as to Draco watching with jealousy. Just what is he jealous of? hmmmm...

    Keep up the great work, Bonza. Looking forward to more!
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  • From ANON - faith on October 25, 2007
    so, ron is most def. Gay in this fic i have never read a fic where ron was gay, i never thought i would like it but this story is nice keep up the good work!
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