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Reviews for Professor, You're Mine!

By : chelleybelle
  • From reallycorking on December 07, 2007
    not fair!!! very good, but please update! ^_^
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  • From ANON - mari on December 07, 2007
    oh man!!! u so have to update soon!! this is getting so good!!! ^_^
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  • From theorgskittles on December 04, 2007
    I like how this story is going and how dumbledore is a jerk. keep it up but i hope mcnair gets his butt kicked by her and voldermort also and the whole malfoy clan heheheh
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  • From Serenablack9000 on December 02, 2007
    Damn that is really good. Damn Albus and Minerva coming in at the time. Keep up the good work. Plz update soon.
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  • From rugbychick on December 01, 2007
    omg! i love this story! its absolutely amazing! poor hermione..she was sooo close! i can only imagin the shock on mcgonagalls face when she walked in on them...lol...*snicker*...please please update soon!! i cant wait to read more!
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  • From Camryn31 on December 01, 2007
    " the damage is done"???
    what has happened?? what's happening???
    ooooh its getting better every minute
    update soon! cant wait
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  • From ANON - Suzanne on December 01, 2007
    you have GOT to continue this story! I want to keep reading it!
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  • From ANON - gypsy on December 01, 2007
    NOOO! they were so close! and now he's back to this "miss. granger" silliness! gah! hope her mom's ok. mcnair couldntve worked that fast could he? mayb that's why they were interrupted in the first place! DUN! DUN! if not they better put mione's parents in hiding quick. juss to b safe snape should marry her and consummate the thing. well that keeps her safe from mcnair; but how they gonna keep her outa voldy's clutches? obliviously i think your a good writer. how could u get meh this interested if ya weren't? please update soon! ^.^v
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  • From chyara on December 01, 2007
    aakkk! i need the next chapter... i wish there was a way that this site would notify us with updates to our favorite stories damn it!


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  • From wildcat on November 30, 2007
    this is good i like it
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  • From jacobslove on November 29, 2007
    Oh no! What a cliffie. Poor Hermione. I cannot wait to see where this goes.
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  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on November 29, 2007
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From chelleybelle on November 29, 2007
    Elen:
    thank you for the review...I have never been criticized in such a creative manner. I have come to realize on fanfiction that you can not please everyone...I used to be less descriptive and I was criticized for using to much dialogue...I used to write shorter chapters and move through them quicker but then there were complaints about things happening to quickly...I have been told that I am too wordy and that I don't use enough words, I have been told that my characters are to OOC and I have been told that the characters are exactly right, I have been told that I shouldn't do this and I shouldn't do that and why did you do that and how dare you do that...I have finally decided that I shall take each review as it comes and sometimes I will agree with it and sometimes I won't...sometimes I finish a chapter and think that it was absolutely crap and other times I finish a chapter and think its the best thing that I have ever written...and guess what happens then? my crap chapter gets twenty review and my best chapter ever gets one! So...as I said at the beginning of this...you can't please everyone, but I appreciate the review anyway...any by the way...the pert nipples or perky breast analogy has been way overdone...
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  • From ElenSila on November 29, 2007
    I was excited by the premise of this story however, the writing is lacking. You describe each and every thing that happens and it's just not neccessary. I also think that the most recent chapter "need" is poorly written. The letters seem un-natural, they sound like emails not letters. At this point your writing is choppy and exact. To make it flow better I would reccomend the use of descriptive adjectives. These two sentences come from your story: "She quietly removed her cloak and let it drop where she stood. She slipped out of her shoes and then removed her tie and vest, and then unbuttoned the first several buttons of her blouse until her lacy bra and heavy cleavage showed." These sentences use a lot of words to describe very little action. The adjectives are boring and it sounds choppy when read aloud. Rather than using sentences like those use sentences like these. Hermione removed her cloak allowing it to glide down her body to the floor, she removed the excess layers of her outfit and unbuttoned her blouse so her full pert breasts were exposed. The verb glide is more sensual than the word drop, as are the adjectives full and pert. Using adjectives and verbs which are sexy will allow the story to be sexy and sensual without being overt. Also the use of adjectives and adverbs keeps the story flowing and moving while entertaining.

    I think you have great ideas, you just need to work on your writing a little. Technicly it's superb, better than mine I am sure, now it's time to be creative.

    Best Wishes,
    Elen
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  • From blueartemis on November 28, 2007
    She's going to die, and they want to stop him? Albus is an idiot. Very hot, though.
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