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Reviews for Lucius Hidden Son

By : roseline
  • From Carmeleyes23 on January 20, 2008
    I like the story idea, but i can't follow it with all the errors. Or maybe that's the way it's supposed to be written.
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  • From alma on January 20, 2008
    Good chapter but it seems that English is not your native language you should get a beta!
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  • From alma on January 18, 2008
    good chapter.
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  • From alma on January 18, 2008
    I love it when Lucius is Harry's daddy!!!!!good start.
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  • From Katlyn on January 18, 2008
    Interesting start!

    It's a decent enough job on the translating, but there are a few glaring errors. Poundlard in English is Hogwarts, I actually had to look that one up, as I'd never come across the French word before.

    Also... "I know that he has a good bottom." I'm sure you meant this innocently, but the word 'bottom' in this context sounds like it's referring to his (for want of a better word) arse. It's not something that a father would usually compliment his son on. Perhaps if you said... "I know at the bottom of everything, he is good." Or something along those lines, it wouldn't be quite so obvious.

    Anyway, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it, keep it up!

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  • From DarkKat on January 18, 2008
    This story seems that it would be good, but it is very hard to read. I'm sorry to say, but it wasn't translated that well. I hope that the next chapter will be better.

    AR
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