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Reviews for Visited Upon the Son

By : Sparkykiki
  • From Sparkykiki on July 29, 2008
    Note to Dumbum....If you are reading this. I don't mind constructive criticism and if you'd like to point out specifics in your reviews about blatent errors in the canon (Please include what chapter #, since this site does not tell you what chapter you are reviewing for).

    How do you feel Draco is poorly characterized? Feedback on this would be much appreciated, since all it can do is make me a better writer. Why is the use of homonyms a bad thing? There are multiple words in the English language (both UK English and American English) that sound the same but have different meanings, so I can't understand why you feel that having them in the story is a bad thing.

    I have already corrected the Occlumency/Legilimency error, thank you so much for pointing that out, but I was writing without having access to the books.

    I do know that Luna is a year behind, so if you could please point out the chapter where I said otherwise, then I'll be more than happy to correct it. If you were referring to the point in chapter 8 when Hermione remembered how well they worked together, I was referring to Hermione and Neville's fifth year and not Neville and Luna's fifth year. I am truly sorry if that was unclear and I will change that immediately to make my reasoning more clear.

    And please realize that I am writing an AU story, to the characters and such will not be as they are in canon. That is the beauty of fanfiction! Again, if you have specific complaints, I'll be more than happy to review the work and see if they can be corrected, but please be specific in your reviews. If you truly can't stand the story, then I will not be hurt if you choose not to read. However, if you do read and choose to review, then please phrase your criticism in a way that will help to improve the story, rather than just say you don't know why I bother writing in this fandom.

    ~Sparky
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  • From smmz79 on July 29, 2008
    WOW what a great ending and a perfect b-day gift you posted it on my b-day so thanks... :) LOVED IT LOVED IT.... what a perfect anniversary gift for Draco and Hermione.... great job!!!!
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  • From blondpierogi on July 29, 2008
    awww im am soooo sooo sooo sad to see this story end. it was brilliant! i love reading it. but i can reread it whenever i want. great job!!!
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  • From ANON - dumbum on July 29, 2008
    Luna is a year behind Neville. Geez, if you aren't going to bother getting the lingo, the characters, the facts, or the rules of a universe right, why bother writing in the universe? Why not just write original fiction?
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  • From ANON - dumbum on July 29, 2008
    You use LEGILIMENCY to enter someone's mind, Occlumency to keep someone out of it.
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  • From ANON - dumbum on July 29, 2008
    Draco is very poorly characterised, and the fic is full of homonyms.
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  • From starrynite45 on July 29, 2008
    YAY! Finally, this story came to the end and i like the epilogue and the wedding chapter so much...i still doubted why Hermione can't bear any children in the future...was it the effect of what she suffered? anyway it is really sweet of them in that chap

    very nice story. i'm not into angst and hurt/comfort type so much but this story had something keep me reading along..and it was interesting...great hob for u!
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  • From kazfeist on July 29, 2008
    Well, it was short and sweet, and I have always thought Narcissa would be a great name for a Malfoy little girl. :D
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  • From blondpierogi on July 26, 2008
    awww.. wow.. this chapter was great.. it had everything in one, wedding / birth/ sex...
    wow great job!!
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  • From smmz79 on July 25, 2008
    yeah you posted i am doing a happy dance... ok o really that was awesome... the handfasting was perfect and i had a funny feeling that ginny would go into labor during the wedding sometime... i laughed when she said 'you are doing this the next time lee' that was funny... great story totally... i cannot wait for the final chap but i am sad that it is ending... loved it great job!!!!!
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  • From kazfeist on July 25, 2008
    A truly beautiful ceremony, and they, at long last, consummated the relationship! Good for them! :D
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  • From smmz79 on July 24, 2008
    Is it cheating if i review more than once... i mean really you said that you were not going to post the next chap until you got 15 reviews well i am giving you 2 and if you do not update in 2 days then i am going to review again:) yes i know i am playing dirty but i really like your story and i am excited about your update....
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  • From blondpierogi on July 23, 2008
    awww great chapter. I love this story very much!!
    keep up the wonderful work!!
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  • From starrynite45 on July 22, 2008
    can't wait to read their wedding! Hermione deserved him!! and i really like ur story very much...keep updating!
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  • From smmz79 on July 22, 2008
    what a great chap... i am sooo happy that draco is making peace with his family esp the ones that his father did not accept... i thought it was funny when hermione got all dreamy about their own vows and draco just rolled his eyes that was funny and very fitting for his personalty.. i love how you have him as a changed person but there are little things that you kept about him and i like that it adds to his charm... i loved ginny in this mostly tha tpart where she just walked into hermiones house and was like do not get pregnant that was funny i can almost imagine her waddling throughout the house
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