Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Beyond the Veil -- COMPLETE

By : LaBibliographe

From ANON - lurky loo on August 20, 2008
Hi there. I'm a new lurker. I just swallowed your entire story in 2 days. I love it. I love where it's going, and can't wait for the next installment. Your lemons are fantastic, your writing superb, your attention to detail is refreshing, and even your frustrating couple's stuff is enthralling. I do love a good mystery, and it seems as though I have found an excellent example of one. Now I'm off to devour anything else that I can find by you. Cheers dearling.

~Mia
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From Clare1984 on August 19, 2008
wow, that's a big jump for the plot. I think one of the best parts of the story is Lucius' turnaround as far as non purebloods are concerned. Obviously because of Hermione, his attitude had to change but he now realises what has to be done to save his world and he is definitely becoming a better man. It's great that the minister is on board. I hope there's not going to be too much resistance from the other purebloods.

I do love your descriptions of clothing and I love the thought of Lucius in tight pantaloons. Damn, that would be a yummy picture!

Hazmat suit has arrived, so it's off to bed to get some rest then up bright and early and off to azkaban. It might be a long day till I reach Lucius' cell but it will be totally worth it! I'll let you how it goes!!

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From ANON - nitesfool on August 18, 2008
ok... this was a very good update... i like the new name links and how everything will be set up... my only worry though, is the whole butterfly effect...what's about to happen is a HUGE change to the past and will ripple into the future.... will it change events so much that tom riddle will never be born or maybe hermiones parents will never meet and she won't be born.... the consequences to their actions can end up being sooooooo far reaching....ok... that's all i have for u! the end!
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From ANON - pittwitch on August 18, 2008
Kudos to Utopia for the fine turn of pen.

Phew, Hermione jumping right into the Azkaban issue -- although I enjoyed Lucius' explanation of his time there. I find Azkaban to be one of those untapped areas in canon and fanfiction that both need addressed more often. It's almost like a black hole -- it's there, we know it's there, but we really don't know much else.

And, Hermione seems to be learning to be a bit more tactful where Lucius' feelings are concerned. I like it.

A school for Squibs/Links? And Lucius thought of this all on his own? Wow!

And the plot moves forward. Now, I just question if the author plans to put forth a theory on the occurence of squibs in the first place. Something else I read made me think of your story and how these poor squibs could be related to the pureblooded ancestors spending entirely too much time riding a broom and, ::coughs delicately:: injuring the swimmers. LOL -- weird, I know. I'm still tired and out of sorts from the camping adventuress.

Thanks for sharing!

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From SailorSol on August 18, 2008
I finally caught up with you!

I wanted to leave a comment on the story, to date, not on bits and pieces.

This story has managed the impossible! I actually got my husband interested in it! He doesn't like HP much, thinks its childish and the like, and since he was around in early Star Trek fandom, he knows the exaggerated, and sometimes ludicrous, lengths that fanfiction can go to.

Now, he's interested. He lost his sight a few years ago, so I've read your story to him. He wants me to read more.

I thought I'd accomplished a miracle fifteen years ago when I got him to play D&D. Now, he's going to be part of my fanfiction life, as well.

As for the wine, a little doesn't hurt, and if its red, it might just help. :D
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From tambrathegreat on August 18, 2008
You did a great job resolving (I hope) the Squib problem. I always disliked that term. I think Link will be much better. The idea of having them sorted with the rest of the school, having them 'mainstreamed' so to speak with certain classes was brilliant. It is like they are magically disabled.

I want to know what's going on with Lucius' 'Uncle' He seems a right bastard and one who would not stop at just blackmail and slander. I hope we find out soon, along with the next picture that's going to be chosen.

I'm glad your Lucius doesn't discount Hermione's brains. He really needs her in this instance. I think, if they are going to get back to their own time, that they will find a very changed world.

I'm still wondering who the Master guy is. I still suspect it's Dudley, but since you won't say, I guess I'll just have to wonder. Hmmmm...

Oh yeah, and I enjoyed the chapter. I don't think I wrote that earlier.
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From Scarybearhair on August 17, 2008
Oh yes, and I wanted to say, I loved Utopia's poem. That's wonderful that she wrote that for you!
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From Scarybearhair on August 17, 2008
Hahaha! So Hermione is driving Lucius to distraction with her ever insatiable mind
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From Heidi191976 on August 17, 2008
Another great chapter. I can't wait to read more. I love the idea of the school for the squibs(Links). That should help to change things for the better and to help them eventally return to their time.
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From sheherazade on August 17, 2008
First up, hope your enjoying your holiday, even if you aren't partaking of the fruit of the vine. And second up, I love Utopia's poem! What a lovely tribute.

Brilliant idea - the rebranding of the Squibs. I should jolly well think so too - as if the name weren't bad enough, with its connotations of insignificance or underwhelming failure ('damp squib'), it always made me a bit sad that they were stuck with all the crappy menial jobs, like eternal first-generation immigrants who are never allowed to integrate into their own country. There is something deeply satisfying about this plot direction; I can't wait to see how this tweaking of history influences the future of wizarding.

It was great that Hermione had that moment of accepting that Lucius' past was his past, and he had paid for his misdeeds too. Nothing holding them back now!

Terrific chapter; I'm interested to see how 19th century wizarding society is going to react to their idea.
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From Utopia on August 17, 2008
This ISN'T the polo fic - but I laughed so much it hurt:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3135782/1/SPEW

Hippogriff Polo and romance:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3517064/1/Surprising_Results_of_a_Very_Secret_Conversation
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From Utopia on August 17, 2008
anyone creeping out of the woodwork yet?? I'd have referenced my 'essay' if I could remember where I'd read stuff! lol! (I'm sad)

I'm impressed with his stamina too... but it was nothing to do with Azkaban! lol! Temporary stasis? Clever Lucius! Candles... three guesses to WHERE they went - but that can't have been heigenic [sp]! Imagine the filth of Azkaban pushed up your... well, the epithelial layer around there can tear quite easily and let the nasties in.

columns... are they little penises, like the big one in the vault? Is that why Lucius laughed?

What, and the KKK-ish uniforms of the Death Eaters DIDN'T remind him of a 'incipient lynch mob'... though, I guess Lucius wouldn't know that.

Oooh, the PC word for squib... links wasn't what I expected. Though, it makes sense! I like their idea for a school! Is there anything to stop a squib brewing potions? Doing astronemy? Arithmacy? Ancient runes? History of Magic? Quidditch (do you have to be able to use a wand to fly a broom)? Care of magical creatures (if Hagrid can do it, and he's no wand, then why not a squib)? Herbology? I think the ONLY topics they can't do are transfiguration, charms and DADA! You don't really need a wand for the rest! And for THREE subjects, they're not alowed in? Will this new academy have houses? What would their names be? Their colours? Their symbols? Would there be another sorting hat? Seing as Lucius is a founder - would there be a Malfoy house? If he can get three other sur-names, he's laughing! If there is a Malfoy house, I can imagine a Royal Purple (I'm talking Julius Ceasar here), with a pegasus (don't ask me to spell the proper name that begins with A!) as he seems to be flying high for their century!

What could a squib do with a wand? Has anyone ever given a wand to a squib? Surely they've enough 'accidental magic' to do something?

Does the snake cane actually take bites out of people? Or is it an inanimate object? Just curious.

At the time, wasn't there a bit of bother with the French? I'm hoping the magical world know about these senseless wars!

I'm listening is practically a YES! They just haven't signed any paperwork!

Oh, questions being answered... though Lynx house seems like a really bad play on words - it's like badly-spelt graffiti! Why can't they play quidditch? Or has nobody bothered to produce a broom that a squib could use? Is it possible? I read in another fic about a sport called 'hippogriff polo' which was essentially quidditch on the back of a hippogriff! (it's a good fic, I'll look for it and send you the link... it's a HG/LM where Hermione is Lucius's vet for his prised flying equestrians...

Oh, well done Lucius! He's subtly raising witches in society's estimation by openly telling the Minister his wife was vital in the plan! It's so subtle - but so very clever!

Four species of Lynx: Lynx canadensis (Canadian Lynx); L. lynx (Eurasian Lynx); L. pardinus (Iberian Lynx) and L. rufus (bobcat)... I wonder if the kneazle is based on the lynx? Those tufty ears and big feet seem familiar!

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From ANON - Rini on August 17, 2008
Ooh, I just read FBS's review and she has a point about the 'missing links' taunts and what about 'weakest links'...
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From ANON - Rini on August 17, 2008
Ooh! Another chapter and I didn
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From ANON - Rini on August 17, 2008
I
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