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Reviews for Draco’s Remorse

By : Frkjensen7400
  • From jreel08 on December 28, 2009
    This was such a good story. I think it deserves a sequel especially since you never really said at the end if Draco and Hermione get together(married, babies, and such)
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  • From Frkjensen7400 on February 16, 2009
    Hi Gryffindor_Slytherin....

    Thanks for your review, a review this long deserves a reply, so hope you see this somehow...

    First, i'm glad you like the story, I aim to please ^_^
    Now to defend my story and me as a writer *LOL*

    This story was the very first story I wrote, as a fan fiction writer, so please bear with me, but on that note, yes...
    I know I have a tendency to switch between tenses, this time bear with me as English isn't my native/first language

    I have read all 7 books, but as I started this story, I hadn't re-read them, a big mistake when trying to stick to the canon, something I hope I have learned from.
    The mix-up with the Mrs. Sprout and Professor Sprout, I hadn't even noticed myself...

    The map Hermione got from the twin's is not the Marauder's map, but a enchanted map they made for her to keep an eye on Harry and Ron... This I might have pointed out a bit more, sorry for the mix-up there.

    About the N.E.W.Ts, again a "re-read your HP-canon before writting a fiction" mistake.

    The part about Draco as a Junior Professor before taking his N.E.W.Ts... You mention him being an apprentice for making that part more acceptable, but isn't that just what a Junior Professor is? In Denmark, that is what a teacher's apprentice is, so if that doesn't fit with the English school system, I have to write that one off as a mistake based on being a Dane and not an Englishwoman.

    Professor McGonagall shouldn't call Draco just "Malfoy", I have to agree there... But again, my first story... *LOL*

    I hope that my defence made you understand more why there are certain mistakes in this first story of mine, and again I thank you for taking the time to write a so thorough review.
    As you say, it will help me in my future fictions, and I'm actually rather touched that anyone would take the time, to help a "newbee" writer out.

    Hope you have joy in reading fan fictions, mine or others, and have a beautiful day!

    Best wishes
    Frk Jensen.
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  • From mlui on February 07, 2009
    It's a very interesting story. I think it could do well with a bit of tweaking and editing. You've mixed up a lot of verb tenses between past and present--you should stick with one. You go between Mrs. Sprout and Professor Sprout. She's teaching, so she should be Professor Sprout (unless otherwise specified, which in the books, she's Professor Sprout). Also, Fred and George did not create the Marauder's Map--Harry's father, James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter created it. And er, I thought NEWTs were end of the year exams for 7th years (sort of like SATs/ACT)? The midterms were just awkward...I'm usually not picky about canon facts, but I think these are minor facts that you must have down because it makes it seem as if you haven't read the first three HP books... I'm surprised that Draco was made a Junior Professor without even graduating or at least taking the NEWTs... I know the situation was dire, but shouldn't he at least gone and tested for the NEWTs before being offered the post? To me, it wasn't very professional of Professor McGonagall. It showed that her judgement was flawed and in a way, it showed that she was showing favouritism, even though she didn't mean to. She could have at least offered other accommodations for Draco, up until he took the NEWTs? Or just be an apprentice? That would have been more acceptable. Professor McGonagall shouldn't call Draco just "Malfoy"...she's a teacher and should refer to him by his name or "Mr. Malfoy", especially since she always takes issue with Harry that he should call Severus "Professor Snape" and not just "Snape", as Harry calls him.

    On the other hand, I like how you brought Professor Snape back in. I'm glad Draco and Hermione remained together. =)

    I hope you don't take my comments the wrong way and I hope you'll improve on your future writings. =)
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  • From kazfeist on February 01, 2008
    OK! That was a lovely interlude, with a great action sequence in the maze! Well done, Hermione, for saving Draco! Now the story makes sense. :D
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  • From kazfeist on February 01, 2008
    Well, this was a nicely-done story. There were some typographical errors, but you are not a native English speaker. I just wish I'd been able to read Chapter 7, and the visit to Malfoy Manor. The story also seems like it could go on....so we could find out who is seeing Narcissa, Blaise's wedding, and Hermione and Draco's wedding, as well. But a really nice idea and well executed. :D
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  • From Frkjensen7400 on February 01, 2008
    Chapter 7 is now... chapter 7 !! ^_^

    Sorry for all the mess ups
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  • From kazfeist on February 01, 2008
    Hello! Just wanted to mentioned that your re-post of this story has somehow removed the real Chapter 7. Chapter 10 is in its place. I couldn't email you, as your email is hidden in your profile. Was looking forward to finding out about their tea with Narcissa. :D
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  • From Frkjensen7400 on February 01, 2008
    um... not sure what happened yesterday, as I did upload every chapter, but as you noticed they didn't make it unto AFF... I'll be trying to get them uploaded right away...

    Hope you enjoy it anyway
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  • From myangeldraco on January 31, 2008
    I remember reading this fic before, it says complete surely that's a mistake?!
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