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Reviews for The Writer\'s Companion

By : LadydAllusion
  • From Marbil on February 27, 2008
    The Captain Creepy bit made me laugh, I like the way you are taking this story. Her sister must have some more tangible memory of Maddie doing something weird and I'm sure her mother does. Somehow her mother controlled Maddie's mind enough to make her suppress and bury those memories.

    The grammar is still improving, but remember it's 'drew a deep breath', not 'drew a deep breathe'. My email is marbil051568@verizon.net, send me yours and I will check with some friends to see if they can beta for you.
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  • From Phreakdom on February 27, 2008
    That little twist was unexpected. I wonder if losing her memory is something she did to herself or something that was done to her. It should be interesting to find out!
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  • From Darkwolf01 on February 25, 2008
    Well im enjoying this story quite a lot. i like your humour! It's a bit like mine. :) I have to say thank you for reveiwing my story and also that i knew i would like your story straight from the summary, so well done one capturing people's attention with just that alone. I hope you continue to write more, as i did find the third and fourth chapter a bit wobbly, but you picked it up easily with the fifth. Please update as soon as you can, i look forward to reading more.

    Oh and if you're struggling slightly with the grammer, or any little mistakes like that, it's always good to have a beta even to just check check it over. I'm very grateful for mine hehe.

    Wolfsoul
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  • From Marbil on February 25, 2008
    Very good chapter, I enjoyed reading it and I saw only one typo that needed to be corrected. It was 'furt animals' instead of 'furry animals'. I am intrigued by their spells to search inside of her to find her magic, and even moreso by what you said about Severus becoming much more involved.

    The Latin spell is similar in meaning to the motto of the bomb group my father flew in during WW2. In English it was "Light is Truth out of Darkness". It wasn't very similar when in Latin, "ex tenebris lux veritatis". They used the Latin form on the emblem that was on the planes ans any other official item to identify the Bomb Group.
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  • From Marbil on February 23, 2008
    I wrote a review and tried to post it a few minutes ago, but for some reason it didn't show up so I'll rewrite it.

    I wonder if he used Legillimency on her while he kept watch over her until Dumbledore returned? He is certainly attracted to her already and she is attracted to him. I expect they will both fight the attraction for a while until they give in to it. I hope that Lupin won't be part of a love triangle, Severus deserves a woamn who is only interested in him. Her feelings for any other man should be platonic.

    This was better grammatically, but I noticed a problem with 'to/too', it should be 'too much' and not 'to much'. Also, breathe is the verb and breath is the noun. I'm giving you a link to a website I find indispensable. It's for "OneLook" a dictionary search engine that searches more than a thousand dictionaries. Just type in a word and it will list and give links to all the dictionaries that included the word. That page also gives a 'quick definition' that includes what part of speech the word is. I use it at least a half dozen times a day every day.

    http://www.onelook.com/

    I'm looking forward to your next chapter and waiting for the next update.


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  • From Phreakdom on February 23, 2008
    Oh that poor girl, sounds like that calming draught really did a number on her lol. The description of her dream was very vivid and I couldn't help but giggle over her musings on Severus, apt though they were. Great job!
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  • From Marbil on February 22, 2008

    I think you've made a good start and Maddie seems to be an interesting and intriguing character.

    You should proof read your chapters more thoroughly before you post them. Most of your grammar is correct, but there are typos and a few glaring errors that should be corrected if you want people to continue reading and give you reviews. I'm going to give you a couple of examples here, the railroad staion in London is King's Cross Station, you left off Cross. You also need to review what possessive to use and the difference between 'to' and 'too' and when to use which of those words. You should also do that with 'their' 'there' and 'they're'.

    You have an interesting plot and an intriguing OFC in Maddie and your story is well worth the effort of fixing these things and a few others others such as making sure your tenses agree, and rewriting a couple of awkwardly written sentences.

    I usually send my comments and suggestions about grammar by e-mail because I don't want an author to be upset or embarrassed when I give constructive criticism, but your email is hidden so I have to do it this way. I don't bother to do this unless I think a story has merit and I plan to keep reading it. You should get a beta, that way the beta would find the bits you missed and you can fix them before you post a chapter. I would offer to do that myself, but I am beta reading for 4 authors who are each presently writing a story and I just don't have the time to take on another story and give it my full attention.
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  • From Fyre on February 22, 2008
    *sings* Cambles chicken noodle possibilities "Mmm-mmm good!" HAHAHAHAHAHHA... anywhooo ya the flow wasnt great but i sense the background and the setup so w/e right? lol thanks for posting!
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  • From Phreakdom on February 22, 2008
    Lol that was great! Your oc is fiesty which I think should come in handy. I can't wait to see how she reacts to Severus.
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  • From Fyre on February 21, 2008
    Wow! what a promising story, i love your oc... definitely one that id love... most of my oc's are women who can both throw a punch and take one lol anywhooooo i hope you update soon and when ever i notice ill be sure to review... (i hate it when the hit count is high and no one reviews, lazy bums lol)
    ~LunaSnape
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  • From magpie79 on February 21, 2008
    HI! really like this so far, writing and posting as you go along is hard so I hope you'll be able to update regularly.
    seems like a good OC, I like a bit of humour and no hints of Mary sueness so far.
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  • From Phreakdom on February 21, 2008
    This looks like it's going to be really interesting. Your oc seems really witty and normal compared to some of the oc's I've come across. I think she's just bitter enough to appeal to Severus without seeming too jaded. I'd really like to see where you go with this.
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