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Reviews for Time For Change

By : icybreeze
  • From LisaJean on February 24, 2008
    Not bad, but I definitely recommend finding a beta or at least a good spell check program; many of the errors could have been caught by just a little bit of editing details. If you don't know the tricks, just ask.
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  • From shelagh on February 24, 2008
    Great first chapter. There are only a few spelling errors but I'm sure you will edit them. Update soon!
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  • From Amethystique on February 24, 2008
    I really think that there are possibilities for the direction this fic is taking. I would like to offer you one piece of advice. Get yourself a beta reader if you can. Failing that, make sure you read through your work thoroughly before posting it. The 17+ spelling errors (not including grammatical ones) do make for stilted reading and prevents what could be a good fic from flowing nicely.
    I wish you well for the next chapter & I will look forward to reading your next offering. I am in no way flaming but I think that if you want to grow as an author, constructive critique is a great tool at your disposal.
    Blessings
    Amethystique :-)x
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  • From ANON - lala_land on February 24, 2008
    pretty god, but confusing, so Snape just disaapered?? and how will the war change?? anyhow GOOD PLOT
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  • From ANON - lala_land on February 24, 2008
    pretty god, but confusing, so Snape just disaapered?? and how will the war change?? anyhow GOOD PLOT
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  • From ANON - lala_land on February 24, 2008
    pretty god, but confusing, so Snape just disaapered?? and how will the war change?? anyhow GOOD PLOT
    Report Review

  • From ANON - lala_land on February 24, 2008
    pretty god, but confusing, so Snape just disaapered?? and how will the war change?? anyhow GOOD PLOT
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  • From ANON - PixieStick on February 24, 2008
    I don't understand why Hermione wouldn't recognize Sev once she saw him. Even if he is younger he would still look somewhat the same.
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  • From wishyouwere on February 24, 2008
    I like the plot idea. We have seen a lot of younger Severus done in several ways, this feels more original.
    For someone that does not type well, you only have a few errors. I think that spell check would have caught a few of them too.
    I think that it may be a stretch for the golden trio to not recognize Snape. Remember, Harry saw him when he was taking occulmency lessons, and I really feel that Hermione is too bright to not make the connection, especially with the name that he has been given.
    However, this is your story and your imagination at work, so keep going so we can see what will happen.

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  • From catysmom1028 on February 24, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.

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  • From SilentTremor on February 24, 2008
    you might want to check your spelling and punctuation. suite not sweet and concentration not consintration.. these are just a few that i found in the first chapter. I suggest a beta.
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  • From SavineSnape on February 24, 2008
    Ooh I'm interested to see where this goes, Sev adn Hermione being the same age, both excellent at potions......rubs hands with glee. Maybe Sev can have the love he should have had......*please* continue
    Savine x
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  • From Utopia on February 24, 2008
    How did the potion change the passage of time? Surely everyone would remember the snarky potions master and wonder where he'd gone - and Hermione would no doubt put two-and-two-together to come up with five. Any chance of Albus explaining how the past has changed the future so that the present is different (and that sentence just gave me a headache, lol).

    And how did the present change the past? did Severus go to Hogwarts thirty years ago? Was he victimised by the marauder's? Did he fall in love and make an utter mess of it)with Lilly? Or did his potion wipe him from the past and insert his younger self in the future, the future which is the present... and I've confused myself again.

    I do LOVE a young Snape fic, it makes it so much easier to place him with Hermione - because, lets face it, it realistically wouldn't have lasted more than a week with Ron. I'm looking forward to the conundrum's being unraveled and the characters developing!

    9/10 for the opening chapter.
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  • From Delfin on February 24, 2008
    ohh of course its good! i very much like it plz continue =)
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  • From ginnyginny on February 24, 2008
    Interesting, but a few things need to be corrected. Harry's mum is Lily, not Lilly. Also l, a group of rooms are a 'suite' not a 'sweet'. I am interested in seeing where you take this, but keep in mind spelling and grammar.
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