Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Mind of a Machiavellian

By : calaminehorn

From ANON - Sonusai on April 07, 2011
I really like how this is coming along, although I am indeed curious how it becomes a romance between the two.
Report Review
From RedsAttic on December 15, 2010
EXCELLENT!!!!!

I look forward to reading future chapters.......
Report Review
From Ithilwen on September 06, 2008
You need to update this fic now.. It's been Months now!!

And you stopped at quite the cliff hanger one too!!

I really like it.. How will he take it, being offered his freedom??
Report Review
From distinctlyME on July 15, 2008
God I love this story. I really hope you continue it.
Report Review
From Citten on May 15, 2008
well now i really want more and lots of it!!! what is dear lucius to do and i really cant wait to see how he will take this information in! well do update soon and let us all see your masterful plan. :)
Report Review
From AlexandraMalfoy on May 15, 2008
Excellent! Please continue and update soon. Very soon! Lucius locked up and Moine as the cold business woman. There must be something else in there, am I right or am I right? Can't wait to see them develope. Is Luci getting out and discovering Moine's advantages? And will she play hard to get? Or is she attracted to Narcissa? Maybe there's time for a little threesome? I'm being naughty here, sorry. So whatever it might be, keep on going. LOL, Alex
Report Review
From Terrie on May 15, 2008
I'm with Lucius on this one. Why should he care about her "freedom". She's not in prison and is free to do whatever she likes. Narcissa should honor her marriage vows and stand by her husband until he's out of prison. Just because he has done wrong doesn't mean it's OK for her to do wrong. Also, Hermione doesn't mention anything about property division or alimony. What are the terms of the divorce?
Report Review
From Utopia on May 15, 2008
There are quite a few online tutorials in spelling and grammar. Here's a 'few' for you (well, quite a lot really):

http://www.usingenglish.com/quizzes/

Report Review
From Utopia on May 15, 2008
I quite like that Lucius doesn't know her name; it gives me a feeling of understatement (which is what brought down Voldemort). Nice little plot device.

Its sad that divorce has been brought in, and that only Narcissa has opted for it - or is she the bravest to go for it, and others will follow the Queen of society?

Ah, Lucius thinks his wife doesn't have a brain; yet she's been brainwashed and trained to be the perfect pureblood wife. I reckon that there is plenty of gray matter under there that has been put to good use where Lucius can't see. Again, underestimation and complacency. The wizarding world is archaic in it's attitudes, and the muggleborns are helping it shift into a closer century.

This sentence just proves it:
Report Review

From eileenmilner on May 15, 2008
Its a very good beginning to a story. But! The time line of only 5 months does not work.
Hermione wouldn't age that much in a small amount of time. Nor, would I think she could
get passed a new law in that time period.

Perhaps you meant 5 years? Which would work well. Still the story should get interesting from
now on. Best wishes,
Report Review

From LaBibliographe on May 15, 2008
Chapter 3: So Lucius isn
Report Review

From carha on May 14, 2008
OOOh interesting plot twist. Please update soon, I am excited to see what happens next
Report Review

From chickaboo on May 14, 2008
Ooooooh. And the plot thickens! I can't wait for more!!
Report Review

From Utopia on May 11, 2008
I like the outfit, it's simple and elegant; and ever so slightly fitted. I always have a problem imagining robes, I either imagine the cap-and-gown type thing of univeristy graduation days, or something Halloweeny. Though, with this I've got more the image of an ankle length suit-dress (the shift dress that women wear under a suit jacket, but longer), but with a more princess neckline (The sleeve cuts at a more diagonal line from the armpit to the neck - its a little reminiscent of the mandarin style), with the medieval undersleeve (not the big billowy thing, the tight one underneath it); probably a little flared at the bottom with a bit of a bustle thing at the back - maybe like a 18th century coat. (My Mum is a seamstress in her spare time, and I had great fun (and got an A) in textiles at highschool in designing something reasonably similar, but this was a coat).

His libido is on top form, but his vocabulary isn't. I think that word bypassed his brain when it came out of his mouth.

So sad that the purebloods of 'higher rank' marry for status and wealth; rather than for love. There are probably a lot of very unhappy families sat on piles of gold and jewels. Yet, the Weasleys have nothing of material value, but are the perfect example of a loving family - they have their ups and downs, but their love is unconditional.

This was the mudblood he
Report Review

From Utopia on May 11, 2008
I'd say it was a nice description of Azkaban, but then I realised that it is far from nice. I think the best way of phrasing my thoughts is that it is a perfect description of Azkaban, and that it paints a brilliantly morbid picture and sets the scene with beautiful misery. Its so sad that Hagrid (who wouldn't hurt a fly) ended up in there too.

The sunrise thing reminded me of Le Miserables. "At the end of the day you're another day older... One day less to be living... And the shirt on your back doesn't keep out the chill... And the richous hurry past... At the end of the day there's another day dawning." (various lyrcs).

I wonder how the guards are able to apparate, but can't do basic magic? Is the brick more of a heavily disguised portkey?

Something so basic as pepperup potion is enough to give him rapture. He needed taking down a peg or two - but this is really miserable. Though, what sort of punishment is right for a murderer/torturer?

Mentally he's back - and that should be the key to his recovery. It's the person that counts, not their status in society.

A FANTASTIC 1ST CHAPTER!
Report Review

1

2