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Reviews for Ashes of Armageddon

By : emilywaters

From ANON - hobgoblinn on July 06, 2008
Well done resolution to part 1. I really am in awe of the scope of this story, and how well you're living up to the complexities of character and plot.

One concrit: in this bit: "Me understanding that you are innocent is not enough, either. There are too many memories, that are now ingrained in my body and mind, to make any deeper connection both unpleasant and demeaning."

Should begin "My understanding that..." And the negatives in the first sentence kind of need parallels in the second, something like "There are too many memories to allow a deeper connection not to be unpleasant..." Or, this would also work: "too many memories to allow any deeper connection to be anything other than unpleasant." See the difference? Something in the phrasing as it stands almost makes you read it backwards, that the memories are too many to make the connection be a bad thing. It's the verb "to make" that leads one astray.

Hope that's helpful to you and not offensive. As I've said, this is wonderfully well-written, so the occasional miss really does stand out more. Look forward to an update soon.
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From ANON - whitehound on July 06, 2008
Yes - the fact that he doesn't in any way blame Harry for what Tom made him do doesn't alter the fact that right now he associates the sight of Harry with horrible, shaming, terrifying memories which give him the shudders, and it would take probably several years and a lot of working through to even begin to get over that. Maybe less time because he's a skilled Occlumens, so he must know the inside of his own head unusually well, but many months at least.

Btw, minor quibble but the amount you have Hermione paying him per week as a senior researcher is probably about three times higher than what would be reasonable - at least by Muggle standards. I think JK said somewhere that a galleon was
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From ANON - kunitsu on July 06, 2008
Wow that was a very nice ending for book one. It was something very calming and peaceful but based on your past A/N for book two, it's like the calm before the storm or angst in this case. I cant really describe what I like about this last chapter but it just has a certain something to it, I think it's because of the interaction between Severus and Harry

I am looking forward to book two
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From callistianstar on July 06, 2008
Despite all this time, again I say, I hoped for a Harry and Snape ending, for Book 1 that is, I understand Severus reasons, I think. Even though he is finally getting love be returned, he still doesn't accept. I'm not sure if it is mostly because he knows others will look upon the relationship and not see equals, or more likely that Severus himself wouldn't feel like an equal in the relationship and of course have his past haunting him. I hope for happiness to happen soon though. This ending was meant to be and was bittesweet. Especially with lines that their relationship is that they just have "friends in common". I eagerly hope for more. This is quite a captivating story.
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From ANON - A Born Legend Maker on July 06, 2008
Holy... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! *promptly faints, revives, jumps around like a maniac on SPEED, faints again, revives once more and just sits down, staring at her.* Holy, mother, fucking, shit, faced, crap, on, a, stick. I cried, I laughed ("Bugs" seriously? Too great) I was appalled, I was thrilled, enthralled. My gods, Emily Waters, you are FANTASTIC!! It has been SOME time since I encountered a fanfic that I actually DREAMED about. It was truly like a bloody book to me. I go to bed after reading a couple chapters and dream about what will happen next, how I would play out of the plot line were it I writing it and not someone else. Truly, truly amazing. SUPERB! word choice, excellent grammar, not a lot of errors, and if there were any I read right over them (only going back because I've rather developed a bad case of OCRD and finding them in that regard, but ONLY then)... This was amazing. Thank you for sending me the link here. Though it took me three hours to convince my mother to let me use her name to access this site... ah, well. 'Twas well worth it. Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much for writing this story, continuing it, and finishing it. I will DEFINITELY read more of your work and look for Book Two. Keep it up, please, please, keep it up. ~Winks~ Signed, A Born Legend Maker
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From SoftObsidian74 on July 05, 2008
Emily, you're writing was already sick! as in just devastatingly wonderful...but this last chapter, describing Severus's need for sleep and his thoughts about Albus...just superb. You really really are outdoing yourself with this one. I loved that Hermione came through for him in the end..and got a laugh at how she alphabetized his books...so Hermione! I like that Hugo remembers him and she tells him so. the last paragraph was really really cool though. I hope he gets all the sleep he needs, he deserves every bit of it. Question: does he still have the slave stamp on his forehead? Employment may be difficult...lol. Oops, Hermione already has a job for him. yay!
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From SoftObsidian74 on July 05, 2008
#31. So yeah, Severus's outburst was a long time coming....I'm glad he got that out, shows him more human than he had been letting on. People can only take so much. And poor Harry, tormented with guilt but at the same time longing as well for absolution and forgiveness. It's good he was thinking of the lives of those who raped him, if only to save Harry from more guilt. He really does love that boy....and I don't think Harry will know how much, maybe it's good that he doesn't, it would drive him batty or to cut his wrists perhaps. Can't wait to see what happens when Ginny returns

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From ANON - theseachange on July 05, 2008
Great chapter. The bone weariness was well done, and the dreaming only of color was particularly well done, as you have him escape nightmares, but nothing so unrealistic as "nice" dreams or no dreams at all. Very good news about the books and, although a surprise, it fits Hermione that she would have thought to protect his library. I really liked that last lines where Snape wants peace and the freedom to love on his own terms.
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From ANON - whitehound on July 05, 2008
And yes, he's going to be horribly tired - probably for months.
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From ANON - Rae on July 05, 2008
I thought this was Harry/Snape. O_o It still says to be continued so I hope to find what I was looking for regarding the pairing in the next chapters, seeing as fics with torture aren't my thing but I read this fic anyway (I don't really know why). It's good, and shocking in places. I just hope Severus somehow gets the goodness in life that he deserves.
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From ANON - kunitsu on July 05, 2008
The calmest chapter as of yet which is nice after all that has happened to them. I just wonder how Severus's personal peace is disturbed by getting a visit from Harry who wants to apologize to him, I can just imagince. I am glad that his precious books were saved
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From ANON - whitehound on July 05, 2008
Good for Hermione - not just the books, but making him feel that if he contacts them he'll be doing Hugo a favour and being responsible, rather than being pathetic.

Nobody in Britain has a house with a white picket fence, unless they are consciously play-acting at being American. Wooden fences here are close-set - usually with only an inch or two between the uprights - and are either stained a dark colour or left the natural grey-brown of the wood.

The British equivalent of the sort of cost rural idyll Severus is thinking of would be "...little house with a cottage garden" or "...little house with roses round the door".
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From ANON - Tina on July 05, 2008
Absolutely breathtaking chapter! Thank you! This sad, weary, but unbeaten and incredibly strong Severus, his thoughts about Albus, his unwillingness to ask for help, his iron determination never to beg again - it's just wonderful! I love it!
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From callistianstar on July 05, 2008
Very nice. I had hoped that Harry would have thought to do something, although I am glad that Hermione stepped up. I liked that small touch at the beginning where Severus paused his hand remembering not to do what darkHarry punished him for, even though i was thankful he touched the grave anyways. I suppose I can assume that those two won't be talking to each other until after the Interlude, and probably during that time Ginny will return. I hope Severus's wakeful moments are as peaceful as his dream once he awakens though. I've been rooting all this time for Harry's wellbeing and state of mind, but now that he has returned as Harry without Tom, I must say I'm heartily dissapointed in him. It is strange, he has the mind of a 17 year old almost, as Tom took over, but the experiences that far exceed his age. Great job so far.
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From ANON - isa on July 05, 2008
wow. that's been intense. i surely do understand severus's outburst.
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