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Reviews for Escape to LoveBy : saffron |
- From soldiersgirl0709 on June 29, 2008
OK, its a great premise, but the formatting is a bit difficult to read. You have all the dialogue shoved together which makes it hard to distinguish between who is saying what. Maybe try something like this to make it easier to read.
"Draco if ...do you know who would have framed you?"
He nodded " If I was out maybe but I'm not going anywhere."
" I'm sorry Draco."
" It's fine."
" Goodbye, Draco" she shocked him once more. She leaned up kissing him on the cheek. He smiled at her warm lips.
" Goodbye, Hermione" As he was led away he asked her " Smile for me, Hermione." she smiled as he was dragged out of sight.
There are several punctuation and spelling issues, but a Beta will easily fix that for you. You have a great start and wonderful idea, you just need to clean it up a little.
Happy Writing!
~SG~
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- From LadyBlueEyes on June 29, 2008
a very intriguing beginning, i'd like to read more about what hermione can do to prove draco's innocence, and exactly how old are they? how long has draco been in prison? why would someone frame him? where is his family? i am very interested in reading more! happy writing!!
Lady B
xoxo
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