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Reviews for The Apprentice

By : Nerys

From BeautifulLiar13 on July 21, 2010
I love it on here it is so different and Hermione's darkness rocks I hope that she picks gray tho :)
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From ANON - Anon on July 17, 2010
I love this fic. You are an excellent writer. I hope you will continue writing this story, I am dying to know what happens.

I found two grammatical errors that you might want to correct in the future. Most of the times you use the word "of" when it is supposed to be "off." Also Hermione should be putting her hands "on" her hips, not "in" her hips.

Keep up the good work!
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From MrGalion on July 15, 2010
oh my that was a fast update.It seems like you updated already this year. >.>

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From acharmonline on July 15, 2010
So now you're spoiling us, hmm? Another chapter so soon, well I'm certainly not complaining. I think you intended "hump" when you wrote "humph" in there somewhere, but I'm not aware of the actual words I see as I'm reading them so who knows.

Voldemort certainly has Hermione tied up in a ball now, doesn't he? And with the way she's being bounced about between these Keepers it's a wonder she knows which ends up. Though she's having a spot of trouble with her orientation, isn't she? This balancing act between light and dark, it seems to be overwhelming her, to Voldemort's delight.

I don't know how other's read it, or how you intend it, but I always see him as the villain. Granted, an incredibly intelligent, powerful, and skilled villain, but a villain nonetheless. He's the enemy that notices the value of his foe, which is attractive, I admit. There's some wish fulfilment involved in a worthy rival coming to covet you. I'm anxiously awaiting Hermione's rise, though. When she stops being an impressive bit of prey and becomes a predator in her own right.

You know, philosophically, it's not good to love your enemy. It leads to pacifism, and eventually defeat. But I suppose the conflict of loving something else more, [cough] Harry [/cough], should be more than enough to keep the tensions high. Hermione's going to have to make some tough decisions. I simply love the way you've set this up, though, so that the enemy has become the authority. She's being forced to trust him, listen to him, learn from him, live with him, and he's grown to admire her. At the very least it will lead to extensive personal growth. It's also burgeoning a romance that is as delicious as it is horrifying.

Oh yes, horrifying. When I said I saw Voldemort as the villain, as I always do, I truly meant it. Not in the "Ooooh he's so bad he's good" kind of way, he's more of the "sick, twisted piece of work that needs to die" variety. Another reason I enjoy your stories so much, though. He wouldn't really be Voldemort if he didn't deserve death.

I should probably comment on the actual content of the chapter before I finish, lol. Moody, Remus (heartbreaking to dredge up memories of Wormtail), Ron, assembled Order members, and frankly, Hermione suspects that something's up. That necklace is an enigma, hidden in a mystery, buried in a riddle, wrapped around some huge unknown power that's lashing out and worrying the heck out of everybody. Well, except Dumbledore, that is. Damn Dumbledore. That man IS infuriating. Trust him wholeheartedly, though. That's also infuriating.

What is this unknown element to his magic, anyway? So much more than anything Hermione's ever felt, so much greater than Voldemort's. Is Voldemort aware? How could he not be when Hermione felt it so easily? What's this similarity between Hermione and Dumbledore? Does it have something to do with this odd mingling of light and dark magic that Hermione has? Is this mysterious grey magic greater than the sum of it's parts? Is that the unknown element? Was Voldemort aware of the mixture in Hermione before hand, his tone suggests he was, but then why had he not devoted more thought to it? Just how much power does he feel in her? As much as she felt in Dumbledore? Will it grow? What's with the white wolf? Hermione's rare in that regard, as well. It's something Ljudmila and her share, that Dumbledore doesn't. Or else he's being VERY discreet, more so than usual, and that's saying something. So she's got some unique similarities with Ljudmila, Dumbledore, and of course Voldemort. She's shaping up (somewhat vaguely) to be the single most complex witch of the century.

You'd better answer these questions at some point, Nerys! My wild postulations are incredibly unsatisfying! Not to mention incorrectly formed, since the details of all these clues are getting fuzzy as the months go on. You've set yourself up perfectly to drop some hints in the next chapter, please do!

So *ahem* I enjoyed it very much. Well done, very prompt -thank you- and... looking forward to your next update.

(It's always so difficult to end a good ramble.)
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From magentasouth on July 14, 2010
That was awesome! Brilliant! Fantastic! Even better than anticipated! You are a goddess among fanfic writers. I enjoyed that from beginning to end, it was absolutely delicious. I cant wait to find out what dumbles is going to do now. Will he come up with a story or try another mass obliviate? I wonder just how difficult ron and harry are going to be. And ginny too of course. I have to admit i've never really liked ginny. (or ron, obviously) When I was writing I first started out by killing ginny or ron but then after a while i realised that this was entirely counter productive. Ron for example - is a total douchetard. Hate him.. but he is so very useful for causing conflict. Like moody, really, in some ways. Suspicious old sod that he is. I can not wait for the next chapter. Please please please put it up as soon as you can!!
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From mrequecky on July 12, 2010
Yay, absolutely loved the update! So glad you're still writing!
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From magentasouth on July 11, 2010
HURRAH!!! More!! I am so glad that you have continued. Sorry to hear about your injury and i'm glad you are doing much better now - well enough to type brilliantly inspired and intricately crafted fanfiction at least. There are so many different little threads going on in this story that its hard to comment on any in particular - I do wonder a little what will happen when the holidays come to an end - but that is the faintest concern here now that grindlewald and his wife are causing intrigue, and harry seems possibly on the cusp of remembering/realising something that could expose hermione and the whole assignment and keeper issue has been pushed to the background a little in light of occlumency requirements and dark magical outbursts. I'm glad that you have instigated a return to face to face interaction between LV and HG at the end of this chapter - although the goings on in the burrow with Albus and Volkova and Harry (and..well everyone else I guess) have been very interesting and have pushed the story along considerably and moved it back closer to the context of the war with voldemort and hermione's life with her friends - it is also good to return to LV/HG for a bit. I cant wait to see what happens next!
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From acharmonline on July 11, 2010
You've returned! Hallelujah! This story? Magnificent! I've been dying for an update, and here it is in all it's glory! I still check the Voldemort/Hermione category regularly JUST to see if you've posted anything. How long's it been? Months it seems. I realize your busy and yadda yadda yadda, but dammit I'm selfish and I want to read more! A cliffhanger, always a cliffhanger, even when it isn't it is because it's just so good and I need to know what happens next...

My excitement might be carrying me away! But the summary is, loved this chapter and I want another as soon as possible!
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From MrGalion on July 10, 2010
I can Totally see Harry's POV. Hermione is Right there. and Old dumbles is stopping him. Just Right there. Why can't he see? Hermione can be saved! LOL well done. Loved the ending.
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From Punxrose on July 10, 2010
i absolutely love this story! i think that its the best voldemort story out there!!! let that be dark mark mean that voldie and hermione are finally together again! please please please update sooner becouse im dying to know what is going to happen and these long waits are killing me!
thanks, punxrose

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From QueenRuby on July 09, 2010
Oh please let them be back together again and not just some wired magic signature of his showing it's self as she tried to control her magic. I know they say that waiting makes everything sweeter but please update sooner.
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From ANON - xellamyBB on July 09, 2010
Oh, he's got Hermione. Whatever are we going to do :P? *rolls eyes*

Yeeyyyy update! I thought my emails were lying to me when I got this. I was like... nawwwww... that can't possibly be right... Nerys had updated the Apprentice? Never.

Of course, you know what's coming next. That's right. Uh huh. I now want another update. It's your fault, really. You keep on writing such darn gripping plots, I can't help but want them to go on.

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From Sommerlee on June 23, 2010
I just re-read this after getting your review reply to MoM part 2, and you're right; a new chapter is LONG overdue!! This is probably my favorite of your stories. I can't wait for Hermione to return to Voldemort!
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From magentasouth on June 22, 2010
its such a pity you didnt go on to finish some of your stories. this one for example. i check back periodically but it seems you abandoned it.
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From mrequecky on April 23, 2010
Finally found time to read the new chap and I liked it a lot. I am kind of twisted about Dumbledore though. I think he is a good guy in this story. He cannot do anything against Voldemort cause he is bound as a keeper, right?
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