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Reviews for Web of Redemption COMPLETE

By : FemmeBono

From FemmeBono on July 20, 2008
Hmmm...marriage or no marriage, and if so when? Very good question. I like that. lol Here is where I play Jo and start sitting on some of the details.

"There is something else I find unforgivable about Dumbledore, he left nothing behind to clear Severus's name. If he hadn't managed to give Harry his memories he would have been remebered as evil and black hearted unto eternity. If he had survived he would have gotten a life sentence in Azkaban because DD (and JKR) didn't care enough to secure Severus's future."

The thought of that really chaps my hide even worse than how he handled the Sirius/Lupin fiasco. I agree.

Richard Harris actually struck me as too old to play Dumbledore. I don't know if it was his illness already, but even from the first movie he seemed way too feeble. I would have been incredibly surprised if he could have pulled off some of the things that came in later movies. He could have fought in the OotP scene and Voldemort could have blown him over with a breath; it was kind of sad, really.
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From Marbil on July 20, 2008
I forgive you for lying, since you gave me a lovely lemon. I guess pregnancy was inevitable since there was no mention made of birth control. When is the wedding? They are engaged and he's too much of an honorable man to let her have the baby and then the wedding in that order.

There is something else I find unforgivable about Dumbledore, he left nothing behind to clear Severus's name. If he hadn't managed to give Harry his memories he would have been remebered as evil and black hearted unto eternity. If he had survived he would have gotten a life sentence in Azkaban because DD (and JKR) didn't care enough to secure Severus's future.

Richard Harris's Dumbledore was the kindly old man with the twinkle in his eyes, but I think that image was a set-up. His version is the image so many people have in their heads when they think of Dumbledore, Michael Gambon's DD is darker. I think had Harris lived his Dumbledore would have become much darker, probably more so than Gambon judging from some of the characters he played.
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From FemmeBono on July 20, 2008
I had completely forgotten about the unnecessary roughness in the Shrieking Shack, but yeah that didn't exactly endear me to Sirius. In fact, there's not one blasted thing that did between him being nasty to Snape and reckless with Harry's welfare. There again, he and Lupin (by no means an innocent bystander) bullied him yet again, cropping up more nasty memories and baiting him to fight. Remembering that whole ordeal was what made Alan Rickman's lines about dementors so enjoyable in the movie. The cover-up never made sense to me either since the Wizengamot was so keen to use the confessions of house elves and overbred purebloods, only to turn around and use their memories as evidence enough to reopen the case. To me, the fact that Dumbledore mentioned they took the true memories into consideration as a possible means to clear Morfin and the house elf can be taken to mean that they could have used Harry's, Lupin's and Hermione's memories to do the same for Sirius. So if their court system works the way ours does, there would have been a set precedent. Why not? In Rowling's world, unless they are tampered with (and it's obvious when they have been), memories are somehow free from the mind's editorializing through perspective.

And I categorically despise the idea of throwing in the Hallows at the eleventh hour the way she did. Typically, that is just not done in fiction. Strange twists like Severus' big dark secret? Yes. A completely different plot device? Not hardly. It was bad enough introducing a wealth of fairly major characters halfway through the series (hello: Luna, Tonks, Fleur, Moody...none of whom were ever mentioned even in passing but yet as in Moody's and Tonk's cases, were already in the Order. Luna Lovegood goes to school with them for five years before we ever hear of her--and she's the same age. What? Where was she at the sorting ceremony?) *puh* Things like that just go against my training. Granted, you shake up a genre every once in a while, but most of that was really off-putting.

Yeah, the mindset thing was one of his goals. If you can't beat him, have him join you. The movie expounded better on that idea, especially with the first and fifth movies when he tries to tempt Harry--first to join him and give up the stone, then again to torture Bella and embrace his dark side. It smacks of Star Wars a bit, but there you go.

He did mention the ring, of course, but it had already been destroyed by the time Harry knew about it. The shopping list he left was for the locket, cup, etc. with nary a mention of Harry's own scarred head on a platter. And no, in a couple of cases (diary and cup) Harry used a basilisk fang to dispatch the horcrux. With the diadem it was actually Crabbe's fiendfyre.

I am still angry at two other things she did to Snape towards the end. First off she had him fighting for Voldemort in the "Battle of Hogwarts," which I thought was ridiculous. I already mentioned that it irked me when she had him leave the castle, but still had he gone to LV anyway, in battle he could have at least taken out a few Death Eaters from behind. Surely he recognized the end was coming. I still shake my head over that one, but the other thing is why could Dumbledore not have at least told Harry he was dying? That would put Snape's work into perspective, since he could have mentioned that Snape had agreed to put him out of his misery, plus Harry would not have guilted himself over giving DD the potion in the cave. All of that angst and guilt was unnecessary. Which is exactly why I wrote it away. ;)
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From Marbil on July 20, 2008
The night of the Shrieking Shack was the point when I started to see DD for what he really was. When Snape found that Lupin hadn't taken the Wolfsbane potion and went after him with the potion I realized that Lupin considered Sirius more important that the safety of the students and the staff. That's when I lost respect for Lupin. I never had any respect for Sirius because of the way he treated Snape that night, it seemed like he was deliberately trying to give Snape more severe injuries by bumping and scraping his body against the walls. Then Dumbledore executed a full cover up using Harry, Hermione, and an illegal time turner.

Of course, that left Snape woth no choice but to tell his house that Lupin was a werewolf. He knew that once th Slytherins knew it the rest of the students would know it too by the end of the day. He was lucky to escape with his life in both Shrieking Shack incidents and both times DDpandered to the Gryffindors, particularly Sirius, and ignored Snape's injuries and real concerns.

What actually burned me though was how much he kept Harry in the dark right up until the end with regard to his fate. I don't care how much he knew or how much was only suspect at the time, he should have kept Harry abreast of whatever knowledge he had. *Especially* the prophecy and the fact that Harry was a horcrux as well. I mean, good lord, he didn't know that Voldemort could read his thoughts for five books and in that time never told Harry about the prophecy at least. Although I do admit all it did was verify what they already knew.

That is what burned me too. Harry had the right to know that the prophecy meant he was being raised to be a sacrificial lamb. Snape had the right to know that too, he had dedicated his life to protecting Harry and risked his own many times because of that. I think DD knew that from the time Sybil first made the prophecy to him. It was Snape's memories that made Harry's survival possible, not a near death/out of body experience talking to Dumbledore that gave Harry the tools he needed to survive.

I think that moreso than read Harry's thoughts 'He Who I Find Most Tiresome and Tedious' was trying to implant thoughts in Harry's head. The boy had no idea that Occlumency existed until the middle of yr. 5 when he was told that Snape would be teaching it to him and his thought up till then we the thoughts of a normal adolescent boy. That looked like prime territory to 'HW' to use to implant a mindset that would make it easy to overpower Harry

"Now that I've reread HBP, I've seen that the only things ever mentioned were the diary, locket, cup, snake, something of Ravenclaw's or Gryffindor's (yeah, no doubt) and then Voldemort as the last soul piece."

What about the ring?

Anyway, it seems like JKR hadn't figured out what they all were herself when she wrote HBP with 'something of Ravenclaw's or Hufflepuff's' on the list. I notice that on the final list there was something from each house except for Gryffindor, so Harryhimself must be the representitive of Gryffindor. Was the Sword of gryffindor the only thing that could destroy a Horcrux, I don't remember for sure?

Yes, DD, spent enough time with Harry in HBP that he had ample opportunites to tell him everything, but he didn't because he loved being the puppetmaster and pulling all the strings. If Harry had been forwarned DH would have been a better book, the camping and all the angst about not knowing what the other Horcruxes were and where to find them that bored me so much could have been shortened and she could have concentrated on the action instead. The Deathly Hallows struck me as superfluous to the story, only the wand was vital to the plot and it felt almost as contrived to me as 'Beadle the Bard', it seemed to be put there to give "HW' a motive for killing Snape.

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From FemmeBono on July 20, 2008
I've been rereading the last two to make sure all my facts are straight here (not to mention hitting up the lexicon), because I really am trying to keep in character for everyone while changing them a bit. Draco has made a lot of progress in a few months, but then with a pretty girl who sympathizes and a nasty shock from his dad, something drastic was bound to happen. Truly, he could have gone to either extreme, but I figured with the war bringing death so close to home and the alienation from the other Death Eaters' kids, this was the most likely extreme. He didn't get that attention and notoriety anymore, so he had to become notable for something else...and man up in the process.

As for Cassie not giving him points, I think she was a little too shocked for much. Besides, it's no real comparison, but he did call them "gits" and since she didn't know what the fuss was about exactly, she did deduct points from the nasty duo for name calling if anything.

In regard to Dumbledore, Machiavelli is a fantastic parallel. PoA didn't bother me as much since our illustrious potions master was brewing up the very thing to keep him safe. However, the fact that the putz didn't bother to take it and thus made himself dangerous was a serious misstep on Lupin and Dumbledore's parts. They both should have learned way before then when James yanked Snape out of harm's way. What actually burned me though was how much he kept Harry in the dark right up until the end with regard to his fate. I don't care how much he knew or how much was only suspect at the time, he should have kept Harry abreast of whatever knowledge he had. *Especially* the prophecy and the fact that Harry was a horcrux as well. I mean, good lord, he didn't know that Voldemort could read his thoughts for five books and in that time never told Harry about the prophecy at least. Although I do admit all it did was verify what they already knew.

Now that I've reread HBP, I've seen that the only things ever mentioned were the diary, locket, cup, snake, something of Ravenclaw's or Gryffindor's (yeah, no doubt) and then Voldemort as the last soul piece. Even at that advanced stage, knowing the strong connection between Harry and Voldemort, even though he was already dying and knew he wouldn't be able to tell him in person if he waited, he never told Harry that he might have to die. Instead he let Harry figure it out, under the luxury of death when Harry couldn't rail at him as he did in OotP. That alone shook my benevolent grandfather image of him, then to be compounded by the way he used Snape's affections and remorse for Lily.

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From Marbil on July 20, 2008
"I reread the scene from DH of all the memories that should exactly how much Dumbledore reopened the wound time and again to utilize his pain and remorse. It was nauseating, but it also kept him from being able to heal properly and put it behind him. In the end I don't necessarily think that he was still totally enamoured, but more that he still could not let her memory rest since it kept getting drudged up. And he needed to put that to sleep once and for all, so he kept working for the Order."

I haven't reread any of the books, but I have reread that chapter, 'The Prince's Tale' many times. I know that others must have seen what Dumbledore was doing to manipulate Snape, but you are the only other person I have come across who has expressed it. Dumbledore had a cruel and vicious streak in him and I know he enjoyed finding what he could use to manipulate people and then using it to further his ends.

I thought he was an angelic old man who staunchly defended what was right until I read PoA. When I found out that he over rode everyone to hire a werewolf and didn't tell the parents so that they could make the choice of taking their children out of Hogwarts and sending them somewhere else to school I began to think differently. He endangered the whole population of the school when he did that, he also put the residents of Hogsmeade in danger. After that I began to pick up on all kinds of little things that showed how Machiavellian he really was.

I see that Draco has really come round. I loved him defending Hermione from Crabbe and Goyle and that he appears to have a very nice girlfriend now. I wish Cassie had awarded Draco some points for his actions.

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From FemmeBono on July 20, 2008
Thanks for the recommendations. I was thinking actually, of courtly love since Snape's love was unrequited, so yeah I totally agree. Ditto on reading better fan fics than she could have done, especially in regard to him. Some of them capture his character so well, and still can squeeze the romance out of him. I don't think she was prepared for him to be so likeable either. I was just remembering the other day that she had based his snarkiness on a teacher she didn't like, but oddly, that's one of the things people find so endearing. In fact, when I was a full-time teacher I often wished I could instill that kind of fear in my kids. Would have made things so much easier. ;)

I guess I can understand the issue with roses, given the American Beauty reference (which I loved, by the way, Kevin Spacey is a favorite actor of mine, though not so high on the list as John Cusack and Alan Rickman) and even the country song. yech My main thought there was that in his desire to do everything right this time, he might go overboard a bit.

"I never did feel that he could have maintained a romantic love for Lily all those years. He was driven by guilt and had to fan whatever feelings he still had for her into an obsession to motivate him into accomplishing his mission." Absolutement. I reread the scene from DH of all the memories that should exactly how much Dumbledore reopened the wound time and again to utilize his pain and remorse. It was nauseating, but it also kept him from being able to heal properly and put it behind him. In the end I don't necessarily think that he was still totally enamoured, but more that he still could not let her memory rest since it kept getting drudged up. And he needed to put that to sleep once and for all, so he kept working for the Order.

I did do the one shot w/ Snape and Lily, which may not be your cup of tea. But now that I'm enjoying this first foray into fan fic writing, I do have some other ideas tossing around in my head that I want to work on. More likely to contain more smut than this one.

"It fuels my Snape fantasies to see what others fantasize about him and my Snape/OFC friends seem to feel the same about those fantasies. After the quality and skill of the writing, it's what keeps us following a story. You write it exceptionally well and without the coarseness and without being graphic; coarseness and graphic scenes turn me off."

Me too, don't worry.
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From Marbil on July 19, 2008
"I know, I know. It's hard as hell to write a romantic Snape without leaving the realm of his character entirely, especially when it comes to words. Canon Snape's whole problem was that he never vocalized what he should have and when he did talk, he said exactly the wrong thing. That's why there are more actions: doing rounds with her, the gifts, flowers, just holding her, and really any physical aspect of affection. To that end, he's a fairly typical guy."

JKR created a classic romantic hero in the Byronic mold, but she really didn't bother to flesh out that part of him. Judging from what she wrote for the different pairings in the books I don't think she can write romance anyway. She created Snape as a plot device and never thought he would become the character that adults cared about most and that drew them to the books. But subconsciously she made him into such a complex character with so many levels to him that I feel her subconscious was writing for adults when she wrote him. I'm just glad there is fan fic to flesh him out and give him a future and a chance at happiness. On top of that I've read a lot of Snape fan fic that is better written than JKR can write.

I really like the typical guy way that you have him doing with her so they can spend time together without being detected. He is a man of action after all and I've always preferred actions to words. I have a similar problem in expressing deep feelings verbally. But you had him do it marvellously well once she finally asked him about his feelings for Lily.

"By that same token though, we can't really know what he would be like if he were given a second chance at love. Presumably, he would pull out all the stops and be damned if he'd make the same mistakes twice. So he'd use the words even if they were difficult. Besides, we know he's a closet romantic thanks to some of those last memories. I like to think of Snape (especially Rickman's version) as a little less Sheriff of Nottingham and a little more Colonel Brandon--maybe half and half."

I agree with all of this, it was the rose petals (American Beauty is not a favorite movie of mine) and the room full of roses that brought those remarks on. That gesture reminds me of the old country/western song 'A room Full of Roses' which ends with 'Then you'll have a room fill of roses, one for every time you broke my heart'; and that's certainly not what happened in that chapter.

I loved her conversation with him about Harry and how she segued it into finding out what feelings he still had for Lily. I never did feel that he could have maintained a romantic love for Lily all those years. He was driven by guilt and had to fan whatever feelings he still had for her into an obsession to motivate him into accomplishing his mission. You're right, he is a closet romantic and I do think that given the opportunity he would love to be a Colonel Brandon. BTW, I love the idea of him as half Brandon and half Sheriff of Nottingham.

"As for that one scene, as it was the consummation of the union that's probably the last of the smut though it will be mentioned that they spend a lot more nights with each other. I just wanted it shown that they have sort of solidified that bond and have the relationship evolve from there. For the rest of the story though, they have more pressing matters."

I hope that in future stories you will put more lemons in them. It doesn't have to be and shouldn't be in every chapter, just 2 or 3 chapters are enough. It fuels my Snape fantasies to see what others fantasize about him and my Snape/OFC friends seem to feel the same about those fantasies. After the quality and skill of the writing, it's what keeps us following a story. You write it exceptionally well and without the coarseness and without being graphic; coarseness and graphic scenes turn me off.

BTW, I have recommended this story to many of those friends, I'm checking to see if they leave any reviews. Pittwitch is a friend and she found it before I had a chance to send her a recommendation!
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From FemmeBono on July 19, 2008
And if it helps, I'm aiming for a little more Nicholas Sparks and a little less Nora Roberts in this thing.
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From FemmeBono on July 19, 2008
I know, I know. It's hard as hell to write a romantic Snape without leaving the realm of his character entirely, especially when it comes to words. Canon Snape's whole problem was that he never vocalized what he should have and when he did talk, he said exactly the wrong thing. That's why there are more actions: doing rounds with her, the gifts, flowers, just holding her, and really any physical aspect of affection. To that end, he's a fairly typical guy.

By that same token though, we can't really know what he would be like if he were given a second chance at love. Presumably, he would pull out all the stops and be damned if he'd make the same mistakes twice. So he'd use the words even if they were difficult. Besides, we know he's a closet romantic thanks to some of those last memories. I like to think of Snape (especially Rickman's version) as a little less Sheriff of Nottingham and a little more Colonel Brandon--maybe half and half.

As for that one scene, as it was the consummation of the union that's probably the last of the smut though it will be mentioned that they spend a lot more nights with each other. I just wanted it shown that they have sort of solidified that bond and have the relationship evolve from there. For the rest of the story though, they have more pressing matters.
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From Marbil on July 18, 2008
A little bit out of character and the rose petals and the room full of roses was a little schmaltzy, but I loved it anyway. You write a very good lemon, it was a real turn on. I hope there is more smut to come.
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From FemmeBono on July 18, 2008
That being the case, you'll probably like my last chapter much better.
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From Marbil on July 18, 2008
I totally agree, at that point in the story he should have revealed his true allegiance and fought in the battle. He should have done that when Minerva confronted him that night. They could have easily taken down the Carrows and she could have taken him to Harry. He could still have given Harry the memories to convince him and then he could have accompanied Harry into the final battle and shown 'He Who I Found Most Tedious and Tiresome' which side actually had his true allegiance instead of Harry telling him after Snape was already dead. Snape deserved the satisfaction of throwing that in 'HW's face. She used him just like Dumbledore did and when she was finished with him she fot rid of him in the easiest and most ridiculous way possible. I was indifferent to Harry's fate (I couldn't have cared less about him) but I felt Snape should have lived and gotten the appreciation he deserved and been allowed to get on with his life and get some happiness and satisfaction out of it.

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From FemmeBono on July 18, 2008
Re: Trickie
"I'm glad Draco saw everything, that's the only way he will ever understand and change his attitude."
That was the plan exactly, a sort of magical equivalent to walking a mile in her heels.

My biggest issue with how he died ultimately, even before the snake thing, is why the sweet hell did he go? By that point, the jig should have been up and he could had gone to a window, stuck his two fingers up in the air, and told Voldy to stick it. He quit. By that point in the story, he should have just taken Harry for a chat, shown him the few things he needed to see--insofar as he'd been helping all along and then proceeded to kick arse and take names right alongside Harry. I did expect to see him die at the end of the series, simply because his character was so ravaged and damaged by everything he'd been through. BUT I expected it to be a more heroic death, on the battlefield, after trumping V's ace and fighting on the right side for a change. The thought of it still makes me snarl.

As for Dumbledore, the only ones I know who twinkle that much are either drugged or crazy. That did get old, silly meddler.

Re: Pitt
Right thus far. Just take your time and enjoy, it'll be here whenever you have time.

Ultimately guys, there are still about five more chapters to go, so bear with me.
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From pittwitch on July 17, 2008
A spunky barmaid, new muggle studies professor, and do I suspect a pregnancy? (Only up to chapter 2 - stupid real life keeping me more busy than I like.)

Eagerly awaiting more time to read further ... Pitt
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Reviews for Web of Redemption *COMPLETE*

Reviews for Web of Redemption COMPLETE