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Reviews for The Rush Justifies The Risk

By : HikariSama
  • From scarletwitchextreme on October 15, 2008
    OMG you so need to update hell of a story, i love the twists and turns and the strong-mouthed hermione, but the sadistic side of me cant wait for snape to catch her and slowly spank, torture, dominate her all within reason of course...lol...muahahahahaha, please update soon.
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 11, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From CryingCinderella on October 06, 2008
    I'm not quite sure where to start as I'm forcing six chapters worth of review into this single posted forum here. But I suppose I should start at the end with a bit of shock at Snape's actions/cliff hanger, and anger at his brutal and physical force. It seems uncharacteristic of him to force the potion on the boy, especially nervous Neville who most likely would have cracked under pressure anyhow. I know Severus is looking for quick answers, but surely he'd get them quick enough without forcing the boy? This is a convenient plot trick that author's fall victim to when they can't find a viable excuse for pressuring a character into telling the truth, not that I mind it, I just found its placement out of sorts.

    To back track, I giggled myself silly at your characterization of the twins, my thirty odd flat mates (I'm the Residential Director of a study abroad housing unit in Australia) thought I had gone absolutely bonkers. For the simple cameo that you have created for them you have managed to master their character quite well, making them hilarious and non-distinct from one another. I loved the line that George had, "What's up? What are we doing now?" I cannot begin to express how thoroughly this characterizes them. It is an amazing feat for an author to manage a cameo so well, as cameos are meant to show the true characteristics of the person being highlighted, and you managed to do exactly that while utilizing them for plot advancement. Kudos to you!

    I also wish to commend you on your characterization of a hormonal 16-year-old girl. You have appropriately fitted this stereotype to Hermione, however with that said, I feel like this is somewhat uncharacteristic of her. To have such a sailor's tongue in her mind (and believe me I'm no stranger to foul language) just seems off-putting for the rest of the character you've built around her. (It does for Snape as well, neither in the scenario you've crafted seem to appropriate the word "fuck" adequately into their vocabulary.) My suggestion (though merely that) is more of a justification of her emotional roller coaster, but you must be careful with this. Another piece of brilliance to your craft is that you have an equal balance of showing us what's happening and telling us what's happening (the classic argument of scene verses summary, etc.) but this balance can be thrown off when justifying emotions as the author tends to lean toward just telling us these emotions, rather than showing us. I have not yet found this in your work and am pleased by its absence.

    It did bother me slightly that she seems to have this flawless alibi at the end of chapter three, I believe that questions could be raised either way, and that it is not as perfect as it seems, but you've done a good job of convincing your character that she wholly believes it is infallible while leaving your readers to doubt, casting the role of the unreliable narrator on Hermione. You've also done a good job of keeping your narrative voices separate. While you are clearly in the third person omniscient, or the focalized voice (having access to all your characters thoughts, or at least your main two) you have kept those thoughts distinct from one another, not bleeding their styles as writers so often do. My congratulations on this as well.

    I do express my concerns for Mr. Longbottom, his poor genitalia.

    My qualm comes with wording in chapter four of her "Deepest darkest secret" I feel that this wording is too strong or her finding her potions master attractive. It reads as the cliche that everyone is expecting, for her to be deeply in love or at least seriously infatuated. So perhaps not her deepest darkest, but a rather embarrassing one?

    I must theorize on your reasoning for Albus allowing Severus to head up the investigation, however, I believe that Albus is as meddlesome as Ginny Weasley (who has not yet proved that to us in your story) and has his reasons, so I will not badger you for them.

    You do have the most perfect use of metaphor, I believe in chapter 5, where Hermione says, "She was playing with fire in a pool of gasoline." That does create a most stunning image for your reader, though it does make me worry for Hermione.

    And I do enjoy your concept of her adrenaline addiction coming from committing these vengeful acts against Severus, it's one I've seldom seen done, so extra kudos on your originality.

    My compliments to you and I do hope you continue rather quickly!

    ~CC
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 30, 2008
    wow,, now we are getting to the good stuff..i cant wait for more,,i hope you post more soon...please keep up the good work..hehehe,, just thinking about what severus will do to her is making me laugh..and the games will begin..post more soon.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 20, 2008
    ok, its been two weeks now..and i have been waiting for an update...WHERE IS MY UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!ok, now that thats out of the way,,lol..i really like this story...can you please post more and soon...lots more..PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 07, 2008
    oh this is very good, very good indeed...please post more soon, i really like it..im still laughing over that one...go Hermione..you ger um Snape..not...to funny...post more please
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  • From LCGrabski on August 07, 2008
    I'm going to have to say that your story inspires a feeling of... giddiness in me. At the end of the second chapter I was near squealing with delight and thankful that there was a third chapter to go to. I am truthfully excited for the fifth chapter and I hope that you update relatively soon.
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  • From NoOdlesOup on August 06, 2008
    Love it! More please! It's brilliant :D
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  • From Lauriurix on August 05, 2008
    ohhhh :)

    I wonder what hermione has in store for Sev :)

    keep posting! :D
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 03, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From daylightdancer on August 01, 2008
    *evil cackle* XD cant wait for more! =D
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  • From nck12nicholspd on July 31, 2008
    I LOVE this story so far! I hate that you only have 2 reviews so far, well 3 now, you definitely deserve more. I hope you get to update soon! I love your writing style, it's clean and your grammar is rockin. Keep up the good work :)
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  • From neelix on July 30, 2008
    Loving this so far. I hope you can update quickly... :)
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  • From Lauriurix on July 29, 2008
    oh plz update :D

    sounds interesting :D
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