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Reviews for Damnation of Memory

By : moirasfate
  • From Savaial on August 21, 2008
    I'm really enjoying this story. It has depth, angst, friendship and romance. So good to read a work with depth in it. Good job!
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  • From nmos on August 19, 2008
    amazingg amazing amazing.
    for serious.
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  • From KellyJCR on August 19, 2008
    Ron has turned into a right wanker hasn't he. I was not sure if it has been reveled to others in the house that Pansy is a watchtower. I think it is obvious that Ron is totally unaware of that fact. Well done!! Can't wait for more.
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  • From anncee on August 19, 2008
    UGH!!!! i HATE ron!! swear like it wasn't her baby that she lost too! ugh stupid typical man!! only thinking about himself i think the woman forms a closer bond to her unborn child than the man does...stupid prat! ugh anyways i'm in love love love with this story and it's just gushes juicyness with every chapter i read! keep up the great writing!!
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  • From moniquemozzella on August 19, 2008
    Wow you know I normaly review but that is one heck of a cliffy. I've loved the progression so far cant wait to see what happens next.
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  • From KellyJCR on August 19, 2008
    I can not believe the twists and turns your staory is taking. The fact that you have Pansy and Ron together is brilliant. The picture is starting to clear and I can't wait for more. Well done!!
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  • From noeby on August 19, 2008
    omg that was fabulous! How exciting and descriptive. can't wait for more.
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  • From Ele on August 17, 2008
    (part of my review was swallowed)
    "Drawing my wand again, I slipped out of her shoes, my bare feet cold upon the wood floor."

    I hope you don't mind my critique, I merely wanted to be helpful since I honestly like your writing style.
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  • From Ele on August 17, 2008
    (review of the first chapter)
    I like your style. The pologue looked really promising.
    Unfortunately, however, I find your Hermione and Snape way out of character. Perhaps Hermione would have been happy enough to embrace Snape or even give him a peck on the cheek, but a French kiss??? Definitely not. And however much of his memory he has lost, why would Snape, the most private person immaginable, tell an unknown ministry official his whole life story? For him to do that, it would at least have been necessary for Hermione to explain that she knows it already and needs confirmation that he is who he claims to be. I know you implied that, but the way you do it, it does not feel right to me. Snape would be much more cautious, vigilant, than this. He also would not have let Hermione boss him around the way she did.

    I also consider it strange that a person describes itself the following way:
    Smoothing my wavy caramel hair over one bared shoulder, I sighed in the dark. I had decided to wear a fine gown of dark red taffeta, expensive heels and a brocade bolero jacket. My hair was coiffed with ruby coloured pins and my face wore only a pale red eye shadow and lipstick. I had tried to look elegant for one evening.

    She sounds as if she were in love with herself. Moreover, for a simple meeting with a friend like Percy and a lonely house-sitting visit afterwards she is definitely overdressed, something I don't associate with Hermione at all.

    On a side note, it seemed to me you wrote in third person perspective first, then changed into first person perspective and overlooked a few things:
    "I avoided the hideous creature as often as she could."
    "I paused again, glancing back into the dark corridor behind her
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  • From nmos on August 15, 2008
    good job. for real.
    this is a great story. it's super well written.
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  • From Kooldragon400 on August 14, 2008
    Wow. Just....wow. This is a very good story. I like your Hermione, and I like the way you write. This is very good, and I read all six chapters in one sitting. Please continue. I think this is already on the way to becoming not just a good fanfic, but a WONDERFUL story!
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  • From noeby on August 14, 2008
    truly awesome story. I guess it's going to be long?? Looking forward to it.
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  • From noeby on August 14, 2008
    wow. interesting story!
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  • From nmos on August 12, 2008
    nice update.
    this story is kind of timely, but I'm sure you did that on purpose
    (homeland security, lack of warrants etc,)
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  • From nmos on August 09, 2008
    this is seriously really good. I hope you continue it.
    the plot is super suspenseful.
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