Click Here!

Reviews for While You Were Sleeping

By : missgranger
  • From KellyJCR on October 06, 2008
    I like it. Your writing is gret and is quit detailed without getting bogged down. The only thin I have to say is I think Bliases las name is spelled Zabini. Looking forward to more. Well done!!!!!
    Report Review

  • From CryingCinderella on October 06, 2008
    Oh lordy loo! Who gives a rat's patootie about Blaise & Draco??? I know I don't. Personally, they can go play hide the wand all they want, but if it continues to muck up me finding out more about what's going on with Hermione and Severus I'm going to hide a wand so far up their-- nevermind, I'll be polite.

    Congratulations on the point of view shifts, Hermione's voice is well developed and consistent. Draco, on the other hand, seems to waver in his consistency, though as he is merely a side show of entertainment to this story, I don't mind as much.

    You've certainly sparked my curiosity and kudos for getting two chapters out between now and when I read last. It is frustrating to wait for updates (as a writer who constantly sees reviews that say "where the bleepin' blank is our update?" I know.:-p ) But overall, I am very pleased with the direction this is taking.

    Keep up the good work!

    ~CC
    Report Review

  • From chickaboo on October 06, 2008
    Well I like this a lot. I can't wait for more. I'm wondering if your wizarding world allows for divorces or if this is permanent, or just what the deal is exactly. One more thing though. Blaise's name is ZABINI not ZAMBINI. Not to worry, apparently it's a common mistake made. Anyway, just thought I'd point that out. I can't wait for more!
    Report Review

  • From ApollinaV on October 06, 2008
    Ha! Harry lost all his Gryffindor courage. And the dead faint... too funny.
    Report Review

  • From QueenofPutrescense on October 06, 2008
    This is great fun - I look forward to reading more! I like the wierd twist to get it started, though you probably need to be careful about having too much description in random flashbacks. Leave us to do a little of the work and you'll bring up the suspense because we're in the same spot as Hermione. A hard act to balance - you're doing well so far.
    Report Review

  • From catysmom1028 on October 05, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.

    Report Review

  • From AriaDragoncrest on October 05, 2008
    Excellent beginning so far.
    Report Review

  • From Heidi191976 on October 05, 2008
    This is a great story. I can't wait to read more.
    Report Review

  • From ApollinaV on October 05, 2008
    Wow, fast update. The premise makes perfect sense now. Thank god you went with a guardianship angle than Marriage Law. Much more original.

    There's a sick twisted little piece of me that's delightfully happy that Severus is getting into his cups and frantic with nervous energy. It's not often that we see him entirely off his game.

    The POV shift is interesting. And, I think it works in this case.

    My only real suggestion is to run your chapters through a down-and-dirty Beta. There were some tense problems and minor grammar/spelling issues. No show stoppers, but another set of eyes reviewing the material will clean it up and make it that much better.

    Excellent first fic.
    Report Review

  • From ApollinaV on October 05, 2008
    Ooh lovely. I wonder what their history has been when the first thing she addresses him as is 'Severus' and not Professor. I also thought the imagry of her returning to consciousness was excellent. Fantastic start. This could really go so many places.
    Report Review

  • From voraciousreader on October 05, 2008
    Interesting opening! I like it so far, but how are you going to explain Severus' survival? Did Death Eaters get the Grangers, or are they simply still lost in Australia? An accident, perhaps? I take it he had to marry her to prevent the Healers from removing any form of life-support? More, please, whenever you're ready!
    Report Review

  • From catysmom1028 on October 05, 2008
    I like it. Please update soon.

    Report Review

  • From neelix on October 05, 2008
    oooh...nice start! I love your Severus already and he still has his robes on!

    Can;t wait to see where this goes!
    Report Review

  • From anncee on October 05, 2008
    i like it so far, keep it up!
    Report Review

  • From HermioneMalfoFan on October 05, 2008
    Okay, this is a promissing start, I think.

    You migth want to clear up how she can be married to Snape when she was in a coma. Since there seems to be no danger from Voldemort anymore, that must be enlighted. It might be some kind of wizarding stuff that you can only leave a patient in the care of the next of kin and that you can get married even if not consenting as long as your guardian agrees...

    Continue, I do think it's worth it!
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!