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Reviews for The Unseen

By : Kooldragon400

From distinctlyME on December 12, 2008
Awwwww.

I don't like people. Always so judgemental. I know this is just fan fic....but I totally still think it about the human race and I always find it so interesting when people write it into their stories. It feeds of the real, the way other emotions do in fanfic.

I really loved this chapter. I really love seeing James' loyality. It's intense, and I like that. No one besides the Unseen and Hermione see it for that and its sad.

I hope that some day in this fic the bigotry will stop.

I'm excited to see what will happen next. I have theories on who it could of possibly been. I don't think it was Bellatrix or Fenrir...even though thats the kind of maliciousness you'd expect from them.
It's just, Dolohov Sr. was their ally...one of them. Fought for the same things, wanted the same things, believed in the same Dark just as vehemently as they did(unless you've changed that in this fic in which case my theory is blown out of the water)
I also don't think it was just a random attack.
Bigotry lies deep within this story and I have a hunch that it lies deep within the mystery of Aden's attack.

Should be interesting to find out though.
There's a lot going on with this story, but I just know everything ties into the Unseen. I mean Ron tied Hermione into it when he attacked Phelan. Draco is tied into because of Draca, and will be because of Hermione. Harry will be tied into it because of James and Hermione and the fact that he's an auror. And so on and so forth. Every thing I'm starting to realize, will crucially boil down to what goes on between the Unseen and the Dark.
Interesting.

Can't wait for the next chapter.
dM
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From smmz79 on December 12, 2008
ok that definitely was not a coincidence but who knew that he would be there i mean he is not a professor and has no reason to be there then why was he left in the forest like that who found him???? it has to be someone that was there at the school but why would they be there and how did they know about the meeting... anyway great chap
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From margaritama on December 12, 2008
The Master is Lucius - I'm certain of it.
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From RyGirl824 on December 11, 2008
So, I'm a loser and I didn't review the last chapter... I didn't mean to not review it... but man, finals are a -itch.
As usual, super work. :D
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From LolaDiBlack on December 06, 2008
Soooooooo the veggie is dead That's good indeed, poor Phelan (fucking beast of a father), and Draco oh so cute after all he does have a heart, Harry well he just have to watch his tongue around my dragon ( I love you sweetheart) and thanks Harry for the support you gave Hermione ahhhh I got so much to say, so little words and I'm very intrigued as of was is going to happen, The song got me a little bit more intrigued than before, and well as you may know now I love the story, the storyline and You too...take lots of care....update soon.

All My Love
Lola
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From ANON - Apple on December 06, 2008
Hmm... I can't see where this story is going... But I like the direction of it.. Lol..

I do so hope that James will have his own hoard of fans real soon.. I mean REAL fans that like him... hahaha ^^

Keep 'em coming...
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From LadyWinterhartZC on December 05, 2008
Aww, stupid kids. I demand that they love James as much as I do! You tell him that if it doesn't work out with Draca, I'll be more than happy to step into her place. I love you James!(and I love the fact that you have dragon features, it makes you even hotter to me-screw the rest of the widarding world, they don't know what they're missing out on)
I'm glad that everything's resolved with Hermione and now she and Draco can get together. Please don't keep us in suspense, I need to know what happens next. Update soon please!
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From AeraVale on December 05, 2008
Phew! Just finished reading the whole thing, very intriguing. I like the individuality of this story. I also particularly like James's physical appearance. I had an idea for writing a story that would have portrayed a similar character but as a female. Sadly I never got down to it, so you're nicely original! I'd like to see more interaction between Draco and Hermione, but I can see you've set it up nicely already and I'm sure we won't be disappointed!
I was also wondering if there will be any love-interest for James? I could see him and Draca together, though there's been very little interplay between them. If not those two, is there any one else??
The abusive Ron was a bit shocking at first, but you made it fit quite nicely. Hermione's character was also well done as it fit the abused victim very very well. Though I was surprised at how easily she opened up to Draca who is obviously her junior. Though the scene flowed, I'm not sure I felt comfortable with it. Perhaps I'm just not seeing how Hermione was desperate for female companionship and longed to open up to someone.
Anywhooo, well done, please update soon!
xx
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From distinctlyME on December 05, 2008
Phew that was a lot to take in.

Did you write that sorting song? I am thoroughly impressed!! Not many can make a very believable or at all good sorting song, but you my dear pulled it off wonderfully!!!!

So...interesting...we know Bella and Fenrir are planning something against Hogwarts...that much is clear.
And we know the Unseen has been commissioned so to speak, to guard against any evils.
When it comes down to it, and the full out battle I have a feeling will ensue, I wonder how Fenrir will feel about Phelan defending good, instead of being so overtly evil.
I really adore Phelan. I know he's sort of a minor character. But I just adore him. I hope he becomes a little ore finite into this world.
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From smmz79 on December 05, 2008
wooo hooo... another update... ok so this was a great chap... you did really well with the sorting hat song... and you are right that hat generally is spot on when it sings... so james did not get to much of a warm welcome but that is ok i am sure he will do well in class... so draca was a slytherin that is interesting.... i am looking forward to the next chap to see what everyone else in the unseen thinks of the sorting hats song...
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From smmz79 on December 04, 2008
wow you definitely tied up some loose strings... ok so way to go hermione.. telling harry that his best friend was horrible to her had to be hard it kind of busts that image he has of him... i am glad that harry tried to say thank you to james but you are right this is really deep...you can tell that the tension between them is thick... oooohhhh how sweet is draco he really is trying isn't he... so now we know what happened to his wife and i see a connection forming with them i was wondering what would break the ice for them... and phelan and romolus (sorry if i misspelled that) getting their bellies rubbed by hagrid... HA HA LMAO OMG first tobias with the pink hair and now these two getting their bellies rubbed... omg thats rich... i love it!!!! ok so great job i am looking forward to the shit hitting the fan... :-)
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From distinctlyME on December 03, 2008
Hey there!!

I'm glad I made you laugh! I'm also glad you didn't pee your pants. I would have felt bad for putting you in such an uncomfortable state. hahaha

So on to the review shall we?
I really liked the funeral part of this chapter. You could feel she was mixed up on hoe she should feel. Which just makes it all the more interesting.

Draco seems to have really changed, which is intriguing. I'd really like to see this character come to fruition. I just hope he isn't too soft. He is still a Slytherin after all, not a Hufflepuff. lol

I felt like the last two bits were fillers. Which is always disappointing, only because the more drama the better(unless its real life in which case it can stay the eff away from me).
I liked the filler though. I mean the James/Harry moment did say something, just not a heck of a whole lot. or nothing we didn't already know.
Now that the funeral is done, I'm interested what will happen next. I mean not TOO much has been said about this little group. So I can't wait for that to spill out some more.
Same with the whole Hermione/Draco thing.
Can't Wait. Good Chapter.

dM

oh p.s. Thank you very very very much! I love yours as well, but I know you knew that already!!!

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From LolaDiBlack on December 02, 2008
Sorry for reviewing so late...I love it! like it was awesome, Thank you my fangy overly shaggy ummm...friend? well James my darling I just...I'm lost of words, you and Tobias just got me speechless. Harry please don't be thickheaded I love you all but the overgrown -now rotting in a place near you- veggie, update soon, take care.

Love
Lola

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From distinctlyME on November 29, 2008
Oh my.

So it was a slow start, a little filler in the beginning that was heartwarmingly fantastic. :) And then boy oh boy did it pick up.

So you killed off Ron eh? I knew it was bound to happen. I had a small feeling he was going to go on the long journey. I didn't expect so soon though I must say. I was definitely caught off guard.
I found it a very fitting end to him though. And even though gore isn't my thing, you always write it so I can read it without cringing. Which always makes me admire your talents more :)
I'm excited to see what you're going to pull out next, so much has happened in such little time, I can't imagine flinging anything else Hermione and Jame's way. Will you let it die down for just a bit...or will it all blow up before she can mend the pieces back together?

oh I'm dying a little inside laughing at your ending comment to your review response.

a little gore never killed anyone.
Oh but it did, didn't it?
Did you realize how ironic of a statement that was? hehehehe oh yes I laugh at weird things I'm well aware ahha.
I meant to review this last night after I posted my chapter. But then I got distracted by a video game my fiance was playing and forgot entirely about anything I was doing previously. I woke up this morning to find my review page open to your story. hahaha

I would have enjoyed my Holiday...if we had Thanksgiving then. lol I live in Canada, our Thanksgiving was in early October. But I did enjoy it immensely then!
I hope you enjoyed yours. and ate lots of turkey. gobble gobble. ;) (I know I know....laaaammmme)

I eagerly await the trauma's bound to come next! I hope you update soon!!!
dM
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From RyGirl824 on November 28, 2008
Could have lived without the gore, though I do thank you for the warning. Great chapter, thanks for the update! :D

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