Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for The Unseen

By : Kooldragon400

From smmz79 on November 14, 2008
alright now we are getting somewhere with this hermione/ron drama...i am excited to see what actually happened and how this all started... ok so i was off on the ginny thing but i did not really mean that ginny was a bad mother just that she has a full plate... ok so draco has a toy poodle interesting... it is good to see that he has not changed much... i am interested in hearing how the mens conversations go as well it should be interesting!!!
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From RyGirl824 on November 14, 2008
Oh, LOVE the udpate! Thanks!!
I'm soo glad that Draco allowed Draca to go to Hermione. I'm really hoping that she'll be able to help Mione. How is our dear Phelan doing? And I can't wait to see how Fenrir takes care of Ron, the stupid bastard!

Tell Draco I'll be waiting *wink* Haha!
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From RyGirl824 on November 12, 2008
Ooooh!
YAY!
Thank you for the update! Poor wolfie-pup. But... HAHA!!! RON'S GONNA GET IT!!!

And tell Draco... Come on over! Haha!

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From LolaDiBlack on November 12, 2008
Kill The BASTARD!!! Just kill that fucking overgrown carrot, becuase if I have it my way he'll wish, he had never been even concived, dare to attack my dragon, the his friends, ohh I have some juicy and gory plans for him, ha ha ha, well it was an awesome chapter. update soon

take care
Love
Lola

*Hugs and Kisses James*

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From distinctlyME on November 11, 2008
Huh....a little anticlimatic, but good nonetheless.
My only question is....Where is Draca? Did James not feel it fit for a woman? I mean how are all those four or was it five? going to calm down Hermione. Draca should be there. Woman are much better at comforting than men.
I loved that you answered my reviews chapter by chapter. Thank you very much. I s'pose in order to ot annoy you...I can wait patiently for the answers to unfold. I suppose. Just know...it'll be excruciating for me to do so! hahahah.

I kind of hoped to see a little Draco action in this chapter...perhaps Draca gets the message and Draco overhears and bans her from going....and they come up with an ultimatum that he go with her if she wants to go at all...and he see's Hermione and Ron(which would be interesting) all in the chaotic swing of things.

How are they going to explain to the Aurors why Ron attacked Phelan....I mean they would have asked. I thik you should have maybe put a little more detail into it. Or had like Harry be the Auror on duty, and have everythig fall into place about his two best friends. That would've been interesting.

Anyways my dear, I hope the next chapter is up soon.
:)
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From LadyBlueEyes on November 11, 2008
Ron is a fool!! Once Greyback hears its all over for him!

I like how protective James is of Aunt Hermione and I wonder now what Harry will think once the truth about Ron comes out. I'd like to see Harry accept his James for who he is and not shun him for things beyond his control.

Looking forward to more, and hoping to see Draco again soon...LOL!

Wonderful update!!

Lady B*
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From starrynite45 on November 11, 2008
I like this chap...action scene eh? I have no complain about anything but just wonder why Hermione let herself beaten for years by Ron. It just doesn't make sense because she wouldn't have been so submissive and defenseless for long, it's just not Hermione. By the way, it's not weird that someone has been broken because of this. Violence can change people dramatically too. Anyway I still wanna know why Hermione stumbled into this whole mess. Hope there will be her confession on some point of story or why Ron started beating her.

Well, I wanna read more of this story and see more progress between Draco & Hermione...and I bet James & Dracana? lol keep on good write!
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From smmz79 on November 11, 2008
ohhh yeah happy dance you updated!!! i really like this story!!! ok so great chap... we got a little glimpse of how close a few of these guys are and we also got to see their personalities a little bit too.. i like phelan he is funny i like his humor and the fact that he is tough.... i like tobias a replica of his father and it is funny to think back to the first chap when he decided to go for the potions master position and was groaning about how people say he is so like his father already... he really is... good job hermione not falling for rons crap... way to go and the image of james with mr. bigglesworth, ha ha hermione gave him that bear, hmmm i think there is a closer bond between her and james than i first thought... maybe she was there for him when it was hard for ginny to be??? ok so great chap i mean really and boy did ron get his ass in trouble maybe james will not have to take care of him maybe fenrir will handle it!!! oh and what will harry do to james when he finds out that ron is in the holding cell i bet he will be mad but i think that once he finds out what has been happening to hermione i think that will change his tune... ok so james is going to get hermione to hogwarts that is good but that means he is going to have to tell severus what has been happening although i think that he has a pretty good idea that something is going on esp. since when he saw her responses to being called mrs weasley.... hmmm that may put her closer to draco i mean he is probably not there yet but i am sure he visits severus... ok so i know there was nothing about the master in this but i just had a thought and i am not sure why i did not think of this earlier but i think that the master and the guy that took james when he was younger are connected... i think that bella is a part of this masters group???? hmmm and that maybe he is ohhh hell i do not know but i think that james becoming a dragon is definitely connected and part of the masters plans!!! ok so there ya go my review!!! loved it by the way!!! can not wait for the next chap!!!
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From distinctlyME on November 10, 2008
Hello there my dear dear AFF friend.

Have you missed my reviews? I have missed giving them.
I must admit before I begin, that I had indeed read the very first chapter when it came out. Unsure of how I felt about the purpose and direction of the story, I avoided reviewing, intending to wait until there were more chapters to draw on. Alas, my life got in the way and I forgot all about this thought. And then I finally checked my e-mailing, receiving a lovely review from you and I made sure not to forget to read! So here I am. :D!!

Chapter 1:
Like I had said previously... I wasn't sure how to feel about this chapter. I didn't understand its purpose, I wasn't sure I liked the way it was going or what was happening in it. I was confused by their transformations and why James was so odd. However after reading up until Chapter 6...I now must saw, I like that you left it to the imagination... even if I didn't like that at first lol. Aren't I a fickle little thing? I confess I know I am.
I also wasn't sure and still am now...how I feel about the friends he's made within the 'Unseen'... it's a rather odd and ominous group if I do say so myself. I guess either I shall forever be uncomfortable with it, or the furthering of this story will allow me to love and embrace them as a whole.

Chapter 2:
Oh Harry Harry Harry...what is with our loveable if not a little irrational Harry? Why does he hate James so thoroughly? And why might I ask does Ginny not say anything about it? I am incredibly disappointed with this character Harry if not a little more than intrigued. Something has happened. I would think from Harry's treatment at the hands of his Aunt and Uncle, he would never treat another the same. Harry was never to not learn a lesson, that was our dear Ronald Weasley.
Oh dear Lord. I knew the moment you described her injuries there was going to be a brutal wife-beating version of Ron in this story and that he was the cause of her physical and emotional pain. I must say, I'm not a fan of Ron, or their pairing together, and although he is a hot headed man, I never saw him as this. so it will be interesting to see how he progresses.
But I would sincerely like to know what happened with Harry. I am severely disappointed in him.

Chapter 3:
The poor woman!!! Harry is not that clueless, so again I must ask, what have you done to the dear Harry?! He was always so perceptive of Hermione and Ron...I...oh boy.
I am still intrigued with the way you've written him. Still sad, that you've made him into a monster of a Father, and now a clueless and more than likely lily-livered man. I admit to being more than disappointed. I hope to find out what happened to set about this character, maybe it would explain all and I would understand more.
I don't understand Ron either. But I am sure all will be addressed. I'm sad for Hermione. I never saw her submissive to such behaviour. So I'd like to understand how she became one. I hope I get answers soon...or else you'll get the same questions again and again lol.

Chapter 4:
Wow...so the Death Eaters did that to him huh? Revenge against Harry I'm assuming? And whats with this 'Unseen'. I still don't understand it. and I'm insanely worried over who the Master is. I have an odd suspicion or two, that I will keep to myself for the time-being.
Why would she go back? If she had made up her mind for Harry to know, why didn't she tell him before being released? AND WHY didn't she tell the healers or something? I mean what made her cave into going home with him. I don't understand this broken version of Hermione or what broke her. *shakes head*
Thank God for James is all I have to say. And his wards.

Chapter 5:
Huh...cute. She must feel more free with James. My heart broke a little at the breakfast scene. For Hermione and for James. Her going through it and him realizing all he had missed, and all she had gone through. It affects both victim and saviour.
I'm not sure how fond I was of their meeting...I didn't expect so much from Hermione so soon. I had hoped to see some of her spunk come back when faced against Draco. Especially since she realy seemed to liven up being back in Hogwarts, almost as if she were Hermione again. I expected that from Draco though. I don't know we'll see. I don't like when it's TOO easy for them, and I feel this was TOO easy.
Anyways, it should be interesting when Ron finds out about this teaching thing. It was awfully odd of Hermione to take. Her being so scared of Ron and so submissive to him, I expected a lot more debate.

Chapter 6:
Jesus, Mary & Jospeh. You really did make Ron the bad guy didn't you.
At the end of this chapter I pictured next chapter(which better come soon btw lol) going, "Don't open the door. Don't open it!!" Like when you watch a scary movie and there's always that idiot who walks into that room, or that house...or down that alley way. or opens the door. And you're going. "DON'T DO IT!!!" *BAM* there killed..."Awww why do they always open the door, etc?" lol.
I like how this is shaping up, if not still disappointed in Harry and searching for answers in Ron's character. I hope you update soon. I must admit I know await the next chapter impatiently.

I hope you liked my catchup on reviews, and I hope I can be a constant with them. If not you may have plenty of reviews that follow along these lines.

Hurry up! and all my best
dM
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From LolaDiBlack on November 08, 2008
Oh come on now! That's Cruel with a huge capital C, and Have i told you I hate Ronald Bilius Weasley as of now, my poor little dragon, *I Love You JAMES!!!* I will kill that fucking carrot top, I hope Hermione uses her over grown brain this time (bad man picker the poor thing) and well I love the chapter as always (I can't really get enough, it's just too juicy) well update soon, take care ( and James I'll be there)
'til next time

Love
Lola
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From ANON - tiger lily on November 08, 2008
please keep going this is a very good story. i like it
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From Lifvared on November 06, 2008
*Cliff Hanger*! I hope this story will be as good as "Upside Down* I really enjoyed that one Lol! Ruby was great! Anyways... Why did you do that to the poor James, I was hoping for him to kick Ron's ass for being such an ass***! But anyways is your story, but please I beg you don't let Ron get to Hermione! Pwease!!! Keep on with the good work!
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From RyGirl824 on November 06, 2008
Tooooooo short!
Very mean cliffie!
GREAT chapter!

Annnnd, Draco can tie me up and use some minty chocolate any day he wants!!! :D hahaha!

Update, fast, please! As fast as you possibly can! I'm desperate to know how James fares, he's just GOT to be ok! And 'Mione, DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT DOORRRRR!!!!
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From smmz79 on November 06, 2008
YEAHHHH i am sooo excited about your update... oh wow ron really is a dick... ok so i really like the connection between hermione and james.. i think he needs her in his life as a strong family member that trusts him i know that ginny loves him but she is being pulled in so many directions there is only so much she can do... ok so james sent four patronuses hmm i wonder well I think that he sent them to his friends because i doubt he would send it to his father because harry does not know what has been happening to hermione and i think he would more than likely lead ron to her without knowing what he was doing... wow i can not believe you left us on a cliff... PLEASE update soon i am dying to know what happens... i doubt hermione will open the door for ron but he may be able to persuade her.. i doubt he will let her know that it is him... hmmm..... i was thinking more on this master stuff... how coincidental is it that draco is working at hogwarts too? is there a connection there or is it really coincidental? i think that it is lucius though because of some of the things that you wrote in the last chap, and it is not that the bits were really long just little glimpses but something just stuck with me
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From LadyBlueEyes on November 06, 2008
DragonFyre....

This is the first time i have yet to read this story. (i still have yet to finish your previous story - which i plan to do in the bext few days) This is a very unique story and i can't wait to see where your rather brilliantly creative mind takes it....

Keep up the good work!!

Lady B*
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