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Reviews for Naga Inheritance

By : TenariRose
  • From thrnbrooke on October 16, 2008
    Sooo need chapter 7!!!!
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  • From magentah on October 15, 2008
    This has a nice, if seen before, plot line. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, I SERIOUSLY recommend you get a beta. Lines like "(Hot Topic! Just kidding)" are not cute; they are distracting and take away from your writing. "(By the way, Harry is a bit slow about somethings, so he doesn't know Damien likes him, but he is gay, well as gay as someone scared to death of touch can be.)" is even worse--don't tell us this in an author's note-like comment, just write it into the story. Add in a few instances of Damien looking over Harry, staring at him for a bit too long, etc, that go unnoticed by Harry. Or let the tension play itself out in the next chapters. Save comments like "( for anyone who's read DNAngel, its a bit like the bracelet Diasuke's dad gave him for his date in the 9th book)" for the end of the chapter, where it should go in an A.N. Beyond that, while I find it exceedingly unrealistic that Harry got multiple piercings and tattoos in one sitting, I can ignore it. Studs do not go in eyebrows; barbells or rings do.

    All that aside, I am looking forward to seeing where this goes.
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  • From Selene89 on October 15, 2008
    Diasuke's dad gives him the bracelet in the 9th book. before the double twin date. (Poor Wiz) This is a pretty good story. keep going with it please
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  • From slashlover on October 13, 2008
    Awesome story!
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  • From sanda on October 13, 2008
    good story
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  • From thrnbrooke on October 12, 2008
    Sooo need chapter 6!! Why was Hermione and the Grangers getting money and why was Hermione getting that much?
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  • From juicycherry on October 12, 2008
    A Friendly Reminder

    Just thought I'd leave you a note to let you know your disclaimer is lacking. According to the Terms of Service you need to include that you are in fact making no money from writing this story, and that you do not own the people involved. Also it helps if you specify the fandom you are writing about.

    Even though this story is about fictional characters, it needs to be known that they are not yours and you
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  • From hieisdragoness18 on October 12, 2008
    interesting. though im not sure how superman fits in. batman yes spiderman ok but superman? i just don't see the connection. maybe just me though
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  • From on October 12, 2008
    A great couple of chapters... I'm intrigued to read what happens next.
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  • From dracoharry4life on October 11, 2008
    He owns Hogwarts,so he should have a private room, if not the Founder's rooms.
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  • From Slytherdor on October 11, 2008
    Short, but sounds like fun.
    I am looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
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  • From PurpleMoonlight on October 11, 2008
    It's pretty good so far :)
    BUT, do yourself a favour and research the words you are uncertain about and don't ask your readers i.e. Quidditch( did I spell that right? probably not.). http://www.harrypotterfanzone.com/?ID=info/dictionary
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  • From mumimeanjudy on October 11, 2008
    Whoa! This has got to be the richest Harry in fandom. Just a note - you spelled galleons correctly, but it is Arthur not Aurthur.

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  • From Selera on October 11, 2008
    I love this story already. I look forward to the next chapter and pray it's up as soon as possible.
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  • From Slytherdor on October 11, 2008
    You have a Good Story line but the spelling mistakes ruin it a bit.
    I suggest getting a Beta to help check things over before you post.
    Also The Harry Potter Lexicon Site, will be able to assist you with spelling of Names and places, even spells without you having to refer back to the books all the time.
    Try it.
    http://www.hp-lexicon.org/index-2.html

    Hope that helps!
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