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Reviews for Naga Inheritance

By : TenariRose
  • From ANON - Jennifer on August 26, 2010
    Ok, when are you gonna update this? I had stopped reading a while ago, and finally found it again to find that you haven't updated in almost a year?!?!?!?! Please continue with this story. The plot is a good one, and needs to be completed.
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  • From ANON - david chartier on May 03, 2010
    I love the story so far and cant wait till you are able to post most chapters to it. I look forward to reading them.
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  • From Reyoki89 on March 20, 2010
    The plot for your story is very interesting. However, there are some small things that bug me about it.

    I don't know if English is your first language or not, but there are quite a few spelling/grammar mistakes, even in the chapters after you enlisted the help of a beta. Your new takes on the characters also seem to be a bit of an extreme change in some elements, but then they also seem rather one-sided and bland. I also believe that you could include a little more than just one or two days of plot in a single chapter.

    Now, please bear in mind that I do not mean these things in a 'mean' or 'hurtful' way. I say these things so that you can look at your work again and try to fix these things.

    If you would like to take on a second beta for your work, I would be more than happy to offer my services.
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  • From ANON - Tye on March 06, 2010
    Hello,

    I've encountered your story before, and I just couldn't get into it really after the first two chapters.
    I loved the idea, but the writing there was poor, so I moved on. I've come back again now, and read the
    reviews and comments and found that you as a writer have improved, and your in-text author's notes, are
    no longer done. But, I was wondering if your could fix up the first 6 chapters? I believe you stopped the
    commenting in chapter 7. Because, it is really distracting as a reader, as you've read before, and I'm
    positive that you would attract more devoted readers if you went back and fixed those chapters.

    I know this would be time consuming work, and I'm not sure if you have a beta or not to help you, so
    move at your own pace, but this is just good advice if you even care anymore about gaining more readers
    for this particular story.

    Sorry to say, that while it seems this story has improved greatly later on, I'd rather read a more
    well-written story in the time being. I hope one day I'll come back and the story has been fixed up,
    I think it'd be an even more remarkable read then.

    --
    Tye

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  • From thrnbrooke on November 29, 2009
    Soooo need chapter 18!!! Wonder what else Dumbledore did.
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  • From noxlumen on November 16, 2009
    I mostly like the story. There are three minor points I don't. The first is the tat, but not for eve's reason. I lived with a pair of artist for 6 months so I happen to know that while I have wached people fall asleep getting inked all over their back, arm, side and front in a single day so Harry's pain tolerence is not unrealistic, I also know that it takes two artist to take turns to do that amount of work. The reason is that the gun makes intense vibrations as it runs, that in time cause the artist hand to go too numb to control it, so for large or medium but detailed work, if the client can handle it, one artist lets the feeling come back to their hands while another continues. This means, without an assistaint, Antony would not be able to finish Harry's work befor bar close. My other is the collar with chain that Harry wears out. To my mind, that is out of charicture for Harry as you write him, though the rest of the clothing I like. The last is the red ends in the black dyed hair over night. As someone who dyes my hair black also, i know in order to bleach out enough black for the red to take would take 2 trys and would need to be spaced a week appart to minimize damage, and the red won't take at all if it's put in too soon after the bleach. Black over purple works though as black covers all sins, but it won't go away once it's in. Fortunately, none of that hurts the plot, so I look forward to reading more.
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  • From ANON - interested reader on November 11, 2009
    You are getting better. As a fellow writer I hope you won't mind some friendly advise. Original characters are good, but in moderation. If you have to many or if they become all knowing all seeing Mary Sues, you'll lose readers and fans. But I can't say much, keeping to the original story line is nice but I myself can't stand Dumbldore so I'm all for the occasional AU/AR. If some one tells you that you're not writing cannon you can always come back that the only cannon is in the original 8 books, it's known as FANfiction for a reason. There is no cannon-fanfiction. You're chapters could be longer but again they're longer than the ones I had when I started. You have a nice story going. I can't wait to see where you take it.


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  • From ANON - thalia on November 10, 2009
    Tenari,
    you are creating a great story. Please stop apologizing for you plot/character choices. Also, I would remove the author thoughts that you put inside the story line itself in chapters one and two. If you spell something wrong, go back later and fix it. :) Don't worry about telling me. This causes disruption in the reading process. Keep going! I look forward to your continuing works!
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  • From benihimechan on November 02, 2009
    i love that bracelet! good choice
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  • From thrnbrooke on September 01, 2009
    Soooo need chapter 17!!! Dumbledore sooo makes me laugh!!!
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  • From ANON - Robyn on August 28, 2009
    very interesting idea you've come up with. I look forward to seeing where you go from here.
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  • From ANON - alia on August 25, 2009
    wow your writing has improved a lot since the beginning of the story. I must really commend you for making that effort. When i first began you wonderful story i couldn't help but think "great plot, poor writing," but now not only is the plot intriguing but the writing has really improved. I love to see a writer progress, particularly when they make such strides so quickly.

    I hope harry kicks dumbledorks butt, and sends moldywart to the trash heap soon, so that he and draco can have some much needed alone time together. (hint hint)

    Keep up the great work.
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  • From Animegrl750 on August 17, 2009
    I have read a lot of "Harry-leaves-the-Dursleys-and-finds-his-own-place-and-then-gets-resorted-into-Slytherin-after-embracing-his-darker-side-and-then-ends-up-with-Draco" stories. Most of these also have Hermione, Dumbledore, and/or Ron bashing present in them. After reading what there is of "Naga Inheritance," I have to say you are a genius. I love how unique you make it all and, although I don't hate Hermione, I have to admire you for making her so hate-able. Of course, now I hope you have Ron find someone so he doesn't end up alone.

    Love the story big time. Can't wait for more!
    Your humble reader,
    Kazumi-sama

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  • From erospandora on August 17, 2009
    hura!

    you need to update more lol >< i like it
    ~eros
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  • From ANON - Bella Lilia on August 04, 2009
    Nice story, but i would have liked better with the little comments in the brakets. They where extremly funny!!
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