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Reviews for Amorem Consentit

By : PrincessHildaWerewolf

From ANON - Jade on February 28, 2013
More please!
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From ANON - cs on April 02, 2010
Well, what to say. I really wanted to like this. I'm a fan of L/H/D fic and have rather enjoyed reading the various versions of "Marriage Law" fic out there. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to lose myself in this fic like I do so many others, mainly because of the wildly inconsistent writing. Characterization of Hermione and the Malfoys swung back and forth like a pendulum - with their moods and actions diverging wildly in a single scene so much that, were it real life, they'd be committed for schizophrenia. There are plot holes and errors throughout... At one point, you mention the death of Hermione's father and a chapter or so later, you have her inviting Lucius to meet her parents.... things like that are problematic. Also, there is at least one scene where Lucius and Hermione are talking to each other, but it seems as though they are having two completely different conversations: bouncing between discussing the Weasley/Malfoy animosity and how Lucius-as-Minister would change Hogwarts... It's quite confusing.

I'm not sure whether you are a very young writer, or simply a very new writer, but there are many things you need to work on to improve your work. Even though this is AFF.net instead of FF.net, fic is not merely a collection of lemony goodness and roughly scribbled sex scenes - even PWPs require good writing. I do hope you will continue to feed your plot bunnies, but make sure you tame them with grammar, structure and logic.

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From QueenRuby on December 13, 2009
Dang I was enjoy this one. that is what I get for starting to read a story that dosen't have complete on it some where. Please continue this if you read this review. Draco needs to get over it all ready so they all can be together. And they need to let Merlin tell him what he did completely, even if he is a perv. And my sick mind say they should give him a show.
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From ANON - Anon on July 27, 2009
I find your depiction of Draco rather interesting... It goes against every notion of him most ppl have. I find the extreme changes in all the characters personalities a bit much
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 21, 2009
RE: chapter fifteen

Hermione was having an interesting reaction to the bracelet while shopping with Draco.

Draco's reaction to seeing the television was a bit over the top.

Poor Hermione to feel so conflicted about her feelings and desire for Lucius while knowing that she'll be marrying Draco soon.

It was wickedly naughty of Hermione to have been attacking Draco orally during a telephone conversation.
;~D

Woah--Hermione's reaction to the house elf and refusing to understand (acting irrationally) what she was being told was rather scary.

~*~*~
'Hermione felt odd again at the mention of Lucius.
...
She knew that she craved to see Lucius, touch him, kiss him...'

[Sounds a bit like obsession.]

~*~*~
EEK--Draco is a scary fellow when in a jealous (and fearful) rage with the objects flying around (like Stephen King's "Carrie"). I wonder, does he have that sort of reaction often?

Bummer that it took Hermione's being hurt for Draco to calm down and feel regret for his actions, things said, and fear that she'll leave him because of it all.

~*~*~
'A wave of magic twirled through the room and their clothes vanished.'

[I'm wondering if the magic is of Lucius or Hermione's doing? Or perhaps the ancient Malfoy magic' doing?]

~.~
Even while asleep Hermione is wickedly wanton.
;~D

~.~
Wow, what a bummer to wake up and go immediately into a panic attack and then not too long after state a complete reversal of what she had declared to Draco the day before.

Oh man, Hermione passing out and going into convulsions with blood pouring out of her mouth due to the ancient Malfoy magic and her not fulfill the requirements of the spell to release her from its clutches is scary; especially after learning that it can damage the brain and can create mania.

~*~*~
'"DRACO!" Hermione screamed, breaking out the windows around her.

Thump-bump.

"What in the name of Merlin?" Draco shouted.

He had been sleeping in his bed in Kensington when he had felt a magical pull, one similar to a portkey.'

[WOAH, that was some powerful magic to have broken all the windows around Hermione and then summoned Draco to her side.]

~*~*~
'
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 20, 2009
RE: chapter fourteen

Before I forget, yet again, I must say that I love how long your chapters are--Thank you!
:D

~*~*~
'"If only you knew what I would LOVE for you to do," Hermione said. "I want you inside me. I want you to pin me in this bed and make love to me all night. Then I can ride you for your wake up sex."'

[Hermione definitely has the right idea. I volunteer to be her stunt double for any and all action with Lucius and Draco!]
;~D

~*~*~
Mmm, I love the shower scene--very sexy indeed.
;~D

~*~*~
Grrr, what does the inscription on the bracelet say?!

It is so sweet of Lucius to have placed powerful protective enchantments on the bracelet to ensure Hermione's safety.

~.~
'Why did his father have to interfere here?
...

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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 20, 2009
RE: chapter thirteen

I got a chuckle out of Merlin teasing Lucius about how often he had masturbated while in school at Hogwarts.

'"I think I'll share that with Hermione, at least 5 times a day! He masturbated more than any other male at that school," Merlin said, ...

Hermione giggled. She could imagine Lucius doing that to himself. It was actually very arousing.'

~*~*~
I love how the pervy portrait of Merlin keeps trying to see more of Hermione.

'"Pull her robe down and fondle her breasts," Merlin whispered in Draco's ear. "Do it!" the portrait. "All I will get to do is look!"'

~*~*~
It is a bummer that Lucius didn't go on the picnic with Hermione and Draco.

That was a lovely dress and accessories that Draco bought for Hermione; he is so sweet to have thought of her and buying things for her even before their engagement.
:D

Hermione is a kinky one to have Draco remain nude during their picnic and be her pet.

Mmm, it was very sexy their feeding each other.

~.~
'"I want you, Draco," Hermione whispered. "I want to have you in my bed tied up while I have my wicked way with you. Maybe even spank you for when you were naughty."'

[Ooo, dominatrix Hermione, that would be fantastic to behold.]
;~D

~.~
Mmm, delicious details thoughout the chapter (Hermione pleasuring Draco at the picnic) and story. THANK YOU!
;~D

~*~*~
Hmm, Lucius wouldn't be in a jealous rage if he hadn't been using his small observation mirror to spy on the activities at the picnic.

Aww, that was so sweet of Lucius to have given Hermione the gift of the opal bracelet. I wonder what is engraved in French (and its English translation) on the bracelet.

Aww, how sad that Lucius was left all alone, and that he cried because he feels that had scared her and that she now prefers Draco over him.

~*~*~
VERY well written--keep up the good work!
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter twelve

*::purring::*
Hermione is one lucky lady to have been whisked off to the bathroom by Lucius and then given quite the tongue lashing--wickedly naughty wizard--FREAKING lucky Hermione!
;~D

*::cackling::*
I love how pervy Merlin's portrait is to Hermione, that it, or rather his image, can do magic and project his voice into Hermione's head. Merlin is such a horny old goat to be asking Hermione to show him her bits, ask her to have sex with her wizards in front of him, to pleasure herself in front of him, and let us not forget to flash him her breasts as he pleasures himself.
;~D

I think that it is funny how Hermione refuses to believe that the painting is of Merlin because of how lewdly he has interacted with Hermione.

Aww, just when the sexy beasts (Lucius and Draco) are starting to share Hermione, Merlin goes and spoils it by projecting his voice/thoughts into Hermione's head.

Mmm, Merlin's younger self sounds absolutely dishy. Hermione should be thanking her lucky stars that his sexiness was passed down to his descendants.

~*~*~
'
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter eleven

Mmm, I love how deliciously detailed the passionate portions of the story are as they really get the blood pumping and the juices flowing.
*WINK-WINK-NUDGE-NUDGE...*
;~D

~*~*~
I like Lucius' solution to Hermione being able to have both of the Malfoy men as hers.

'
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter ten

Poor Neville for being married to Harry the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence Potter.

~*~*~
Good God Gertie, Hermione is acting like some sort of rabid beast that is in heat.

~*~*~
I do like Lucius' sexy domineering of Hermione and while helping her to have an orgasm getting her to agree to behave herself and have herself available to him; especially if she is not putting out for Draco.

~*&~*~
I love this part...

'"Now, I would enjoy having you put your naughty mouth to work."

Lucius rolled over so she was on top of him stretched between his legs.

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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter nine

*::fans face while breathing rapidly::*
OMG--Hermione is the luckiest girl/woman on the planet to have experienced such pleasures from BOTH of the Malfoy men, all on the same day.
;~D

I like this bit...
'What both of them didn't know was that they were drawn to each other due to ancient Malfoy magic. If a fertile witch was contracted to the family, and there were more than one single male in the family, she would be drawn to them. It was cast in the ancient times to ensure procreation of the bloodline.'

VERY well done--keep up the good work!
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter eight

*::fans face::*
Oh my, this chapter was quite steamy what with Hermione acting like a cat when rubbing up against Lucius, and then later when she sees Draco in just a towel.

Well done--keep up the good work!
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 19, 2009
RE: chapter seven

This chapter was sweet because...
1) how gentle Lucius was with the little girl at the ice cream shoppe;

2) the openness between Hermione and Lucius with their sharing their thoughts, fears, and past experiences;

3) also the affection/cuddling between Hermione and Lucius;

4) comforting each other when they cried;

5) Lucius' desire to spoil Hermione to show her her worth to him;

6) how accepting Hermione is of Lucius regarding his past;

7) Hermione reassuring Lucius of Draco's love for him;

8) Hermione telling Lucius that she thinks that he is well-mannered, generous, gorgeous, has lovely hair, gorgeous eyes, fit body, and looks no older than thirty;

9) Lucius offered to marry her himself if she felt uncomfortable marrying Draco;

~*~*~
I liked how Hermione told Draco off for his disrespectful behavior to Lucius, and to herself too.

'
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 18, 2009
RE: chapter six

Ok, so what does 'Amor omnia vincit' mean when translated into English?

Lucius is so sexy and sweet with Hermione--lucky girl!

Great chapter--well done--keep up the good work!
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From Wistfu1Stargazer on June 17, 2009
RE: chapter five

A very sexy and yet frustrating chapter for all--I love it!
;~D

Well done--keep up the good work!
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