Reviews for Harry Potter and the Mysterious EggBy : Hedwigseyes |
I am really looking forward to the next chapters, please update 😃
Pretty good story even if the language used is a little simplistic. Please inform me of updates.
Specky Clarke.
I tried to give you one more chapter, but I couldn't. Where is all of Harry's knowledge coming from? He suddenly knows about goblin etiquette and house elf rituals. There seems to be zero concern about Hedwig. Last chapter you tell us she's been gone for a week, but Harry barely bats an eye. She suddenly shows up at the beginning of this chapter with no explanation, and again, Harry barely seems to care about where she was or what happened to her. And he's at the Dursley's, what fire is he putting the egg into? Sorry, but this story just isn't good enough for me to keep reading. There are way too many plot holes.
I know there's another story similar to this one, I think on this site, I'm going to go look for it.
Sorry, should have finished the chapter before posting my previous review. The bank meeting took place at 9am, why is Griphook greeting Harry by saying 'afternoon'? The story also seems to be quite rushed. No reaction from ANYONE after the will reading? Really? It feels like you could have filled in a little more detail in a few places.
6 hours to read two, very short, notes? When the story starts, Harry is counting down until midnight. He sees the owl and gets the package and two notes shortly after that. Then, when he's done reading the notes, it's suddenly 6 am. Why not just have him fall back asleep instead of having this very unrealistic time jump?
There are also a few grammar mistakes, but nothing bad enough to make me stop reading just yet.
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