Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for A Looping of the Scales ~ COMPLETED

By : Ms_Figg

From Ms_Figg on June 13, 2009
Anon: I'm just happy that you're so into the story, but I swear you made my day when you said how much you related to Hermione. :) So . . . it feels like a personal attack, eh? lol. That's funny but surprisingly understandable. A LOT of readers relate to Hermione, so you aren't by yourself at all. One of the facts of writing fanfiction is that is you mess with ANY character, you're messing with someone. I've been jumped on about Ron I don't know how many times, lol, to the point of being racially slurred. So, people get riled up, believe me. But, it just goes with the territory and I enjoy the dialogue. If I'm getting emotional responses, then something is going on with the story, so feel free to express anything you feel like expressing. And you text great being on a train. I wouldn't have known any different. I probably won't be updating until tomorrow, but I'm hoping it's a kick arse chapter. I have--plans. Mmmbwahahahahahaha! (evil laugh) :)
Report Review
From ANON - Densaugeo on June 13, 2009
Geez, a lot of semi negative reviews lately XD Personally, I like the way you do the characters. They're as close to Rowling as you can get (even in AU), and seem more 'real' to me. Maybe more developed? I've been around and read my fair share of Hermione/Severus stories, and in most I've seen Hermione has either been a complete doormat, or a downright bitch to everyone but Severus, who is almost always written as an overly romantic idiot whenever in the presence of Hermione. You give Hermione just the right drive to be as close to her character as possible from the books, and Severus just the right amount of snark. I love it. I've re-read your stories more than anyone else's
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on June 13, 2009
You make a good argument. When I said "show up", I meant more from the readers POV, as in his character being superior. My fault for not clarifying. As I said, perhaps not the most logical emotional response to the story, and certainly not the most eloquent review, but I'm on a train without sources to reference and being squashed by a large, pungent man. Plus my phone keeps backspacing automatically, resulting in frustration and impatience when whole sentences are erased. Perhaps a not so subtle nudge to shut up. :)

My "critique" doesn't have very strong legs to stand on, since it's such a personal perspective. Honestly, I like Hermione pairings because she reminds me of me. Shallow, right? So when she's a doormat, or wrong, or scorned, or insensitive, or sticks her foot in her mouth, and it's well written, it feels personal. Because the little, over acheiving, curly haired tyrant is in a way my Mary Sue. I can admit that, and apologize for it, and now I'm completely disoriented in my concerns for the battle you have planned.

My stops coming up, but this has been a delightful distraction! Here's hoping that there's another chapter up by the return trip! :)
Report Review
From Ms_Figg on June 13, 2009
Hey Anon: Yeah, they're getting at me, :) That's fine. I expect it and it lets me know what folks are thinking. I can give them what I think just as easily as they tell me what they think. And it's all good, even when it's not so good. After all the stories I've written, I'm used to it. One very true adage is that you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself. Ah, to write a perfect world, with balance, fairness and true understanding, peppered with cherry-flavored waterfalls, rainbows, happy friendly forest fauna and people frolicking through fields of clover, saytrs and nymphs happily copulat-- er --cohabitating in the background . . . would probably require a full bottle of stomach settling medicine.

Hermione isn't having an easy time of it . . . and because of that, I won't either. lol. Simply math. But like I said, it's all good. It's nice to see people feel so strongly.
Report Review
From Ms_Figg on June 13, 2009
Nell: Sooooo, you think you know how the "review" is going to go, do you? :::eg::: Well, we'll see how that goes.

Negative characteristics: Focused on her studies-- makes a verbal snafu or two-- Evidences envy and jealousy-- but I didn't see anyplace where she's been "shown up" by Snape. He may have questioned her about some things, but he hasn't really done anything better than her. He's an Animagus, but that's about it. If fact, he's given up beating her marks. He knows it's impossible. lol He doesn't correct her, he just tells her what he observes and thinks as someone standing on the outside. I also think he does it to annoy her, too. Snape as anyone's "conscience" is scary. lol. The only time (to me) he gave her a run for her money is when he banished the demon. But Hermione didn't know exactly what he was going to do, so he blindsided her. Hardly a thumbs up for him "outdoing" her.

Positive traits: Focuses on her studies-- works herself to death to have free time to tutor others-- works in social time with her friends-- She knew what to do for Snape when he had the accident, she counciled him, she told him off, she made a good study deal for herself, she kept him from viewing those damned Pensieves, she made study schedules for Harry and Ron when she saw they were skivving off in her absence . . . kind of sounds like she cares about everyone to me--

Well, I can say one thing for the story, it's making folks feel something and that's always a good thing. Let's just see where it goes. This is almost as interesting as "An Unlikely Savior" in responses. Thanks for commenting, Nell. ***

Report Review
From pinkslytherin on June 13, 2009
Loved it!! hermione better watch her back!
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on June 13, 2009
LOL! When I submitted my review, I got to see the unraveling argument already going on about this! Sorry, Ms Figg, you must feel like you're being attacked from all sides. I understand now that this version of Hermione is wholly intentional, and as the author, that's the only defence you really need. I'm sorry for trying to impose my opinion. If I want Saint Hermione, I could just write it myself, eh? Best of Luck. Still looking forward to next chapter, despite hang-ups. :) Toodles!
Report Review
From ANON - Nell on June 13, 2009
The romance is filtering out of this story for me, a little bit, with this rather unpleasant portrayl of Hermione. I undestand where it can be drawn from canon, what with her zeal for her studies, vindictive nature, and stubborness... But so far all I've seen are her negative characteristics. She's insensitive to her friends (Hermione always cared about people) and constantly being shown up by the now do-no-wrong version of Snape. If your going to make her so laden with superiority issues, could you please also let her be right from time to time? If you remember from canon, she was practically always right, whereas now I see Snape constantly wiggling in to correct her very wrong instincts. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if she could really wow the others in battle, seeing as she is obsessively devoted to perfection, beyond anyone elses point. I suppose I forsee Snape showing everyone up, followed by Draco and Blaise, and Hermione lying on her back, frazzled and humiliated. Despite the fact that she has gone through a war, which she doubtlessly prepared for tirelessly, whereas Snape was the subject of bullying. It just doesn't compare to me... Basically I'd just like to ask that you let some of Snapes rose-tinted mojo rub off on Hermione.

I'm sorry if this makes little sense, Im rambling, and typing via phone, so no doubt this will come off as accusatory without my revising it to sound less inflamatory. I am a huge fan, and I love this story, I'm just becoming disenchanted due to Hermiones, well, humbling. In the end, it's your story, and you may be attempting to do something with her character that my hang ups, preconceptions, and preferences prevent me from appreciating, so I can't really fault you. This is just one readers feelings on the matter... but I suppose not every Hermione needs to be so exeptional. There's merit to taking her down a few pegs...

Seriously, last time I review through text. My train of thought is probably too derailed and wandering for this to make sense. I apologize, and toodles. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Report Review
From Ms_Figg on June 13, 2009
MND: It's not that I enjoy it, but I am enjoying exploring it. I'd prefer everyone to be understanding, and they really should be, but . . . most people aren't. No one seems to have a clue that they're being selfish concerning Hermione's dedication to her work. Hermione is NOT the bad guy here, but it's easy to perceive her as such if you aren't looking at it through her eyes.

Hermione's not that weak. She feels bad, but she's not about to stop studying, She's going to get her marks, no matter who gets mad at her. I really don't think the situations are ridiculous because they mirror real life misunderstandings. The husband obsessed with working to support his family, the woman who chooses her career over marriage and motherhood. Someone who leaves a stable job for the chance of a better one, or leaves a well paying unstable job for one making less money but offering more job security. There are many situations where those who care about these people feel they are being selfish and unfeeling when they do what they think is best for them.

People don't often think clearly or fairly, MND. In this story, the characters don't either. It can piss you off, but doesn't piss you off in real life too? That's the whole idea. Hermione is far more reactive than Snape in my stories. Snape snarks, walks away and hexes most of the time, but Hermione engages people. So, it's fun to write her in all kinds of situations. I ran Hermione's character through a Mary Sue Litmus test as she was in the series, and she was a flaming one. lol. I prefer her not to be one, and the only way to do that is to show she's human through situations she finds herself in. It's easier to show it with her than with Snape, who we already know is damaged and flawed to start with, so to beat that dead Thestral over and over wastes words. Something has to happen for Snape to break his mold. Either he falls in love, has to save someone else, or something equally "edge-pushing." It takes a lot of work to get him there realistically or as realistically possible in a fantasy world. Even if he's upset, most of the time he holds it in. Demonstrative, he's not. Too demonstrative and he's OOC. When I wrote a canon Snape in Yuleride, at first a lot of people hated it. HATED it. But--he grew on folks.

Now, I'm going to have lunch. :)
Report Review
From ANON - MND on June 13, 2009
Hi

If I always tell you this... it
Report Review
From Ms_Figg on June 13, 2009
MND: lol. You're always getting on me about this. It's not that Snape is perfect. Snape is in his own little world that he controls. He doesn't have any friends to really interact with, everyone that annoyed him is dead, he doesn't really talk about how he feels with everyone. He's gone through his crazy grieving period where he totally lost it. If the only person he deals with is Hermione in his rooms, you aren't going to see much imperfection. It's called "hiding out" which is what he's doing to be honest. He is focusing on his studies and Hermione to some extent.

This is my first time trying to write about Hermione this way. To get the marks she did, she had to be driven, focused, and targeted. It's what I imagine someone trying to do it all would have to be like. Going for 11 NEWTS is insane and would require a LOT of sacrifice. And she still makes time to tutor others, so she is pretty wonderful in her way. If she were truly selfish, she'd only be concerned about her own grades, screw everyone else. She's under pressure, and people under pressure act in ways decidely different than normal.

She's also conflicted about Snape and didn't like what he did when inviting Harry, Ginny and Ron. Instead of saying so, she sulked about it, and when she found out about Draco and Blaise, she was really upset and blurted out something in frustration that she didn't really mean the way it sounded. Very uncomfortable.

It's easy to see Snape as perfect when he has his own quarters and doesn't really interact with anyone like she does. He's opinionated and a lot of the things he says to Hermione are just his thoughts and observations, like he's studying her actions. Have no doubt he's conflicted, but he doesn't put it out there for everyone to see, and he's trying to focus on something to keep him grounded. The NEWTS. He's opened up to Hermione a little, but is still rather detached in his way, waiting.

You have to remember, young Snape kept to himself, and doesn't remember what he's lost. Lily was the most heartbreaking loss for him, but the rest of it . . . the Marauders, the misery school used to be, he doesn't have that any longer. He's just in a different, better enviroment with opportunities. He could continue to "grieve" but what sense would that make? Like Hermione told him, they'd all lost people. Get over it. That's what he's doing. Lily's dead, but she'd left him almost two years earlier his time, so although he had feelings for her, he didn't see her that often and when he did, she was with James, which was painful. All of that is no more. How miserable do you expect him to be when his misery has been removed?

This was an uncomfortable scene, but I felt it was necessary for Hermione to express how she felt. The fact she did it in front of her friends, is unfortunate, but it's something that happens in real life too, which is why I added it. Plus, it adds more tension for the upcoming chapters. There's always a method to the madness. Thanks for commenting.
Report Review
From ANON - MND on June 13, 2009
Sometimes I feel you make things harder for hermione than for everyone else. Off all your main rolls she always make teh mistakes wjile snape is nearly perfect in his own way. (is a little weird that he is that way when he sould be at least making some adjustments because of his situation) I think you are a little jealous of hermione....
....
....
JAJAJAJAJAJAJ

Anyway... I always think you give her too much hard times, and not many chances to prove How wonderfull she is. (I think she is) It
Report Review
From ANON - english_tea on June 12, 2009
OHh my god his thinging everywhere ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Report Review
From pinkslytherin on June 11, 2009
thanks for the chapter!
Report Review
From ANON - english on June 11, 2009
monkeys are known for their NUDS LOL
Report Review