Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Second Time Around

By : RynStar15

From pstibbons on June 30, 2009
best lines:

“Granger, something like that is not an accident! You don’t just ‘accidently’ backhand a woman!” he raged, throwing things about on his desk. Hermione clutched her briefcase nervously.

“Are you even listening to yourself? You are defending his actions! Unless you like it when he hits you? Maybe you even get off a little on it?”
“You’re sick,” she said, disgusted.
“And so are you for trying to eradicate his actions like it was nothing! This,” he yelled, pointing to her sore face. “Is not nothing!”

And then she thought about the monster he’d become, the anger on his face as he’d struck her, all the nights he’d stumbled in smelling of alcohol and sex, all the night’s she’d been summoned to the bars with an angry owl because he was causing problems.

...the last time was to go to a match of Ron’s against England and he yelled at you for being there without telling him

(Why would Ron be at a match against England? That statement implies he was playing. Who's he playing for? Wales?)

She smiled at the man, a decade her senior and stuttering over her feelings when she knew he could take out an ex-Death Eater in 14.9 seconds. She’d timed it.

“Hermione,” Bryce said, sounding much more like himself. “You did all the background work. It’s alright to let someone help out a little sometimes. What have I always told you?”
“There’s no ‘Hermione’ in ‘team’,” she repeated with a smile.

He was finally in the position to give back to Hermione what she gave him.
His life.

He’d been rotten to the bitter end, only coming around after the war was over in fear of the consequences that were to be bestowed upon him. But she’d been there, she’d stood up for him. He’d never given her a reason to and yet she’d done it anyway. He would never forget the way she’d looked, flouncing around the court room, her bushy hair frazzled, her cheeks pink as she spouted things he’d never heard before.

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From pstibbons on June 30, 2009
best lines:

“No, you’re right. It doesn’t. That’s why I’m not going to take it any longer. I have to do this. No matter how hard it will be I can’t live my life this way, always feeling second rate. For once in my life I’m going to put myneeds first. If you can’t forgive me, Ginny, I’ll understand. I know he’s your brother-,”

“And he’s a right git! I’ve been telling him to dump that bimbo for months! I’ll flay him to within an inch of his life for putting you through this. Fool. You do deserve better, Hermione. You deserve to be loved by someone who will be there for you more than my prat of a brother.”

“No, Ron, I don’t think you can. Not until you’ve cooled down a bit,” Harry said calmly.

“Ron, you shattered those vows long ago. They are now null and void. I shall do as I please and it pleases me to leave. I’m sorry it didn’t work out but that was your fault, not mine.”

Yes, it took us both to agree to this relationship but I blindly built it alone. You destroyed it. I can’t help if I did not please you, but that was no reason for you to turn to others. What you did was sick and deceitful. I will not forgive you and I will not live my life with someone like you. I deserve better.”

“Well, I’m sure your very personal assistant can assist you in court.

“I know, Hermione I said I was sorry-,”
“It’s not good enough, not this time. Leave, Ron. Just leave. Now.”

She cried harder than she ever had in her life, in a silky blue dress, crumpled on a staircase clutching a wooden railing.

(Ah... scenes of fourth year... it's her fault for falling for a worthless fool... and Rowling's fault for telling all of us that the reward for Hermione Granger was a lifetime shackled to someone who could emotionally abuse her and destroy her spirit.)

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From pstibbons on June 30, 2009
best lines:
She fumed at his insolence, at his pure nerve to act like she was “making a scene”. What a jerk! How had she stayed married to him for five years? She deserved a trophy at least!

Well, if he wanted ostentatious, he was going to get it.

“That’s a very kind thing for you to do,” she commented.
“I have more than enough. Someone taught me the gift of giving and I expect to make the best of it.”

She met his steely gaze from the front steps, his wine glass in hand. He looked surreal standing there in nice clothes with the pearlescent house ablaze with lights behind him. And here she was, in a dress she could never afford in three lifetimes, standing shin-deep in the Sea of Crete looking up at him.

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From pstibbons on June 30, 2009
best lines:
She was done forgiving and forgetting. She was going to take her life in her own hands. She deserved better.

“What is ‘master’s rule’?”
“Whatever doesn’t get eaten is sent to the orphanage in town.”

Even though she would use up all her savings in his fees, it was worth it to be rid of that bastard who had pledged to love, honor and cherish her for the rest of his life. What a crock. The second reason was because of the words he had uttered so long ago:
“I owe you, Granger. Anything, anytime,” he had croaked. “I owe you my life. If there’s anything-,”

She would miss Molly and Arthur and the big dinners and the holidays. It was a shock to realize she would miss his family more than him.

“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude. I just can’t get an appetite.”
“Understandable. Divorce is always hard, but it’s no reason to starve yourself,” he leaned over her and unbelievably, began to fill her plate.

“You swallowed before you spoke, ok? That’s why I’m crying, that’s why I’m carrying on like a babbling fool because my husband never had the decency to do something like that!”

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From pstibbons on June 30, 2009
best lines:

“Alright. Let’s do it. Let’s divorce my husband for not having sex with me.”
They looked at each other and laughed.

. His hands itched to find their way around Weasley’s gangly little neck. As many times as she’d been close to tears during the paperwork was how many times he wanted to use his own Unforgivable Curse on the cur.
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From katiekrm on June 30, 2009
Oh man, I still can't wait for Harry to see Hermione's bruises. I hope Katie lets Fred and George know the state she is in. If Fred's alive. Of course Ron puts bruises on his own face. The wanker! Now people will think Hermione did it. Draco is taking such good care of Hermione. What a sweetheart!
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From kazfeist on June 29, 2009
Very lovely seventh chapter. Some typos which distracted a bit, but you've caught the life of a trial attorney fairly well. I would say that most meetings would have been notated, so that, should she need to, she could back up what was said during them. Particularly meetings with colleagues. Those with clients she'd also notate or commit to a written memorandum of what transpired. One never knows when memories change, and need to be refreshed. :D
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From dragongirl on June 29, 2009
This was really good and funny.. Please let Harry beat the shit out of Ron with pleasure anytime this was a fun one, especially with Rita in the middle.. Keep them coming!!!
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From DragonHeartstring on June 29, 2009
I am really enjoying it. I like how it is not progressing too fast. Please update soon.
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From CarlaRush on June 29, 2009
Great story, but you really need to work on your formatting. It is very difficult to read when you have to keep moving the page over to finish sentances.
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From ANON - Anon on June 29, 2009
I'm very much enjoying this. :) Poor Harry, it's no fun being caught in the middle of a situation like that and I think you captured his emotions perfectly. I think I'd be hard put not to hit Ron myself. Hopefully he will back off for now and sort himself out and leave the way clear for 'other things'. LOL As for Rita, I have no problem wanting to smack her one. I would love to have seen her face when Hermione conjured that jar. Oh and silly Hermione thinking Draco's only helping her to repay a debt. Or is Draco still trying to tell himself that as well? :) More please!!
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From breannakristine on June 29, 2009
Could you stop making your dividers so long? They are making my screen scroll from left to right. Make them about as long as you did on the one on Chapter 5, that chapter doesn't scroll for me.
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From chickaboo on June 29, 2009
Stupid Rita Skeeter. Seriously, I think she should be pinned to a board and put on display as some sort of rare beetle...what's grosser than a dung beetle? lol Fantastic update, I can't wait for more!
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From voraciousreader on June 29, 2009
Y'know, Hermione needs to actually use the info on Skeeter to her advantage rather than letting Skeeter think she's too weak to expose her. She's done it before and you would think the bug would know better than to antagonize her. I'd love to see Rita forced to write actually true articles for a change; it would revolutionize wizarding journalism.
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From katiekrm on June 29, 2009
I deleted my other review, but I can now open ch. 31 of Breaking the Chain. I don't know if you did anything or if it was a fluke, but thanks if you did! :-)
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