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Reviews for Foreplay

By : WitchHazel
  • From kazfeist on July 30, 2009
    That was cute....having never heard the actual song, the double-entendres were a bit lacking for me, but the visuals definitely made up for it. :D
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  • From caseyjarryn on July 30, 2009
    hahaha, I'm never going to be able to hear the playschool theme again without remembering that!
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  • From margaritama on July 30, 2009
    congrats on posting something for the first time. just some con-crit as you develop your stories:

    - spacing - it was really hard to read your story, the graphs are monsters; I would edit and break them down - thoughts and spoken parts should be separated so they don't get lost.
    - background - even if its a smutty one-shot, gives us a bit of background about your characters, just adds to your piece.

    thank you for letting us know up front you had some Australian slang. I, personally, am a stickler about brit-picking and don't really like local colloqualisms (especially American, and I'm American) because, well, the characters are British. However, at least you let us know right up top what to expect, so thanks.

    good luck with future fics!
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