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Reviews for Back to Life

By : MariaTeresaQuintanar

From ANON - Anon on August 25, 2009
i don't know who said this story was awful but they need to reread this story..It is very well written and from a point that has not been done. I hope you continue this story. please update soon.
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From pandabear on August 25, 2009
Your sing along was to easy! In the end-Linkin Park.........Your story's amazing darling, and Im glad you put the single syllable "flamer" in their place. Pft, who leaves criticism without a reason as to why they dont like the story. I love the story, I just wish it was longer.
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From Darkwolf01 on August 25, 2009
Out of the thirty one or more reviews you've recieved, you choose the one review that pretty much sums up your story: Awful. I'm going to give you some constructive criticism, if that is what your so eager to get. I will answer your question of what is awful about your story.

Chapter one: There is no good imagery in this chapter, nor any chapter I've read so far. Hermione is supposed to be in a cave with these strange, but powerful beings, yet all that is mentioned is that it is indeed a cave that she is in. I get no feelings of awe that she should be feeling in front of this Elemental being who has created a spell to bring back the dead. Your description is sorely lacking in anything that's being said or done.
Also, where did this animosity between Ginny and Hermione come from? I see no description of how she is acting with either Harry or anyone else. In all honesty, I'd feel bloody pissed off at my friend too if she missed the funerals of my family and friends, even if my family was horribly murdered. I'd apologise and try to explain the situation, not harp on about how terrible and high and mighty the other person was being. I get the impression that your trying to make Hermione the all important person here no matter what anyone else says. And what I mean by that is, in a later chapter, she is suddenly one of the most powerful Elemental beings in the world. How and why is she that? And describe something more about what is going on with Harry and Ginny if you're going to bring them into focus in the story. Don't just have Hermione know everything about them and then not explain further.

Chapter two: Again with the description. I feel nothing for Hermione. When you say she lied to her friends, does that mean her paretns didn't die? and if they didn't why is she packing up their things? This emptiness that she feels; i was actually bored reading that two line description. Also, you have managed, in eight lines to bring people back from the dead with an ancient ritual. If I'm going to read about a fantastic spell to bring people back from the dead, I'd much prefer more than eight lines of description please. Why did it only work on those four? Why did it not bring back a Death Eater? I kind of hoped it would bring someone back that was evil, it would make the story more interesting. There must be some consequences of using such a spell, but then it's, oh no wait, it's ok, no Deatheaters were brought back, only four interesting people with no explanation.
For the second part after the ritual, I have absolutly no idea where they are. Fred, Dumbledore, Snape, Remus and Hermione are somewhere and I have no idea where. Is she lying down getting this potion to help her? Is Snape still holding her? There is also no reaction to the name Gaya, even by Dumbledore. I'm nearly sure Albus Dumbledore will have heard of such a being and if not, there is no further explanation anyway of who she spoke to or why the spell was created or anything.

Chapter three: Again I have no idea where they are. Is she in the Great Hall? I only get that impression from the brief mention of Goyle sitting at the Slytherin table. But then there are others there, Draco included. Are you sticking to canon or are you just making this up as you go along? Why are they in Hogwarts if they are to be in trial for being associated with, or are, Deatheaters? Why are they suddenly nice or tolerable of Hermione Granger, the mudblood of the Golden Trio? If they are to be on trial whay are they not being held somewhere with their families or by themselves? Why are they concerned if Hermione is ok or not? Are they suddenly friends?

"emer- Excuse me? "Awful"? That's it? Aren't you going to tell me why you find this story (all of two chapters before this point) awful? I find your review lacking and a clear sign that you are a judgmental fool with no skill or artistry with the English language. And as such you might consider reading something more on your level-- like a kindergarden primer. Because much like a child that would use such with their limited vocabulary, you need to learn how to use your words. I need to know if you dislike it because of personal or technical reasons. That way I can fix it if I can. But how am I to know the why if you don't tell me?! In short, learn to review. Thanks and have a nice day."

If you're going to choose out of all your reviews, the short simple word that sums up your story, then you obviously can't handle negativity. There was absolutly no need at all for you to harp on about this person not leaving more of a review than simply saying 'Awful'. INsulting their intelligence and their use of vocabulary is meaningless and petty. I think this person would be a much better writer than you are. You say all these things and yet you cannot grasp the English language very well nor know anything about structuring a story. You are being petty and I have given you a very long review, on each chapter, about why your story was indeed, awful. It is not a flame, it is constructive criticism and if you cannot improve or accept it then you obviously shouldn't be writing. You post your story online where anyone and everyone is free to reveiw and say what they like and then expect every review to be good or constuctive? You can't put up your story like this and expect nothing. I didn't see you giving out about the people who basically said, this is a good story, I hope you continue. That's not constructive criticism, but it's good though isn't it? So of course you have nothing to say about that.

I hope my review was helpful and that you gain something from it. But in future should you wish to single out some person who said one word (and I might add, not even a flame or a terrible, curse word or anything of the like)be prepared to accept what people say or else you might just get reviews like this one.

Wolf

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From ANON - abbi cee on August 25, 2009
I wasn't sure if I would like this when I started, but so far I've enjoyed every chapter. Snape seems a bit nicer and more mellow than his usual snarky self, but maybe being dead will do that. I hope he hasn't lost his edge completely though, his bite is part of his appeal. As for the song, I know it's Linkin Park and I think it's "In the End".
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From Sampdoria on August 25, 2009
Thank you for the update, I loved the Ginny-bashing. While some migth find "Saint-Hermione" boring, I love a Hermione standing above the crowd. We all know that she is smarter than most, and also more loyal. She deserves to shine a bit in the stories:-)) Especially when said shine irks people like Ginny...:-)
I am very much looking forward to read more!
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From Apryl on August 25, 2009
Ever notice that the ones who send flames don't usually have a profile or leave a real name? Aw well, break out the marshmallows!!
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From Apryl on August 25, 2009
So far, so good! Keep it up. Never really liked Ginny anyway. As for the song... Linkin Park- "In The End". I'm not a fan of the group, but the song holds meaning for me. And the piano in it has haunted me since the song first came out!
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From ANON - morgana on August 25, 2009
In the End by Linkin Park and if you ever get to see them live OMG they are better live then on CD even with all the equipment to make them sound better..... as for this chapter I am glad that Hermione is finding her way. and I can just see her soon getting all these "evil" slytherin protectors and Ginny getting hers... lol
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From ANON - Anon on August 25, 2009
Story is coming along nicely. I'm interested in the outcome, and your updates are frequent (a huge plus). That's Linkin Park, yeah? It doesn't even matter how hard I try (...) "In the end" right? Had to mentally go through the lyrics 'till I reached the chorus, lol.

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From ANON - AudBal on August 25, 2009
Sorry don't know the answer to the review sing-a-long. Will probably kick myself when the answer is revealed.

I like the concept behind the story; a lot of people died in HP that shouldn't have and I like the notion of those folks getting a new lease on life, and Hermione being the one to give it to them, not just the brains behind the hero, so to speak.

Only downside is that the story doesn't quite flow for me. It feels like it needs to be fleshed out a bit more with a more in-depth description of place/time/characters/etc. I don't suggest waxing poetic about the tiniest detail down to the last curl of hair on Hermione's.... head.. *ahem* but scene and setting description thusfar have tended to be so brief that once or twice I was a bit confused as to what was going on (although that could be just me, as on long work-days I tend to be easily confused by day's end) To me, it almost reads like an online role-play session. There isn't a thing wrong with that if that is the case; have been involved in role-plays turned written stories, myself. Just needs filled out more to give it a bit more depth and clarity.

Please don't take this as a flame; I do like the story concept and look forward to future chapters... also wanting to know the answer to the sing-s-long!
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From Tenar10r on August 24, 2009
Linkin Park's song "In The End"
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From LadyMalfoy on August 24, 2009
I think your story is great. I cant be constructive and tell you what it is I think is great because there are only three chapters, but I like it so far.

As for the song review.. I didnt answer last time because I didnt understand what it was we were doing. But now I would like to try and go for Numb by Linkin Park.
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From ANON - VoraciousReader on August 24, 2009
Sorry, my musical brain has gone on hiatus, sadly, but it does sound like a nice song. Sorry you got such an uninformative review, but hey, it leaves more room for the rest of us, right? i liked this chapter, and I can see her reaching out a bit as well as trying to come up with a way to save some of the lesser culprits from the draconian measures the Ministry is likely to use. It makes an excellent subplot, or do you intend to make it a main theme? I will wait to see!
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From pandabear on August 24, 2009
Whoot!
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From ANON - Nemesis on August 24, 2009
Oh, yay!! I'm so excited!!!
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