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Reviews for Strange Sixth Year

By : Seawitch
  • From on March 08, 2011
    Please write more
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  • From RogueMudblood on September 26, 2009
    You asked for constructive criticism, so I'm going to try to provide a little.
    1) I do agree with some that your story seems to move a little too quickly. Your characters move from one point to another without any clear impetus.
    2) Plot cohesion and character develoment are two things you need to work on.
    a) plot cohesion is when your story makes sense in itself - it doesn't contradict.
    b) character development...where do I begin?

    If Hermione were really a goddess in disguise, would she really return to her mortal form once she had discovered her true identity?
    If Severus is fighting the effects of a lust potion, how is he suddenly in love with Hermione after the potion has been broken?
    Why is Albus Dumbledore, the man who told Hermione to break the rules and use a time turner to save Sirius Black, going to expel Hogwarts' brightest witch?
    Why is Severus suddenly so friendly with Minvera?
    Why is Harry so easy to dismiss Hermione once she's gone just because Ron is?

    Not only do these things not fit with basic characteristics of these individuals, but there's no development in your story that sees them moving from their usual actions to these that you want them to take.

    The thing about fan fiction is this: It's *fan* fiction. Somebody already made the characters up, you're just bringing them out to play. If you're not going to play with the characters the way they were made, developing them in the way you want to tell your story, then rename them and call it an original work.
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  • From catysmom1028 on September 25, 2009
    I like it. Please update soon.

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  • From Heidi191976 on September 24, 2009
    This is excellnt. I look forward to reading more.
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  • From CarlaRush on September 23, 2009
    I can certainly see Severus wanting vengence, but I was surprised that he wants it through his child.
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  • From Angie30 on September 23, 2009
    I'm really liking this story very much. I can't wait for Ron to get his butt kicked. You know, I've read some of these reviews and one of them really bugs me and I'm not going to name who. But my advice to that person if you don't like the story...DON'T READ IT! Plain and simple. Okay I'm off my soap box for now. I look forward to the next update.
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  • From LuvTheLibrary on September 23, 2009
    That was brilliant I really enjoyed the coffin and then the gloves and who would have thought that Ginny is Isis. The God of Prophecy I like it Ron's in big trouble hehe. You have truly written a wonderful story each time I read another chapter I am drawn further into this wonderful tale. Thank you so much I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
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  • From FuchsiaScreams on September 23, 2009
    ..I DON'T THINK THAT MCGONAGALL WOULD HAVE TRIED TO HEX FRED WEASLEY. It's just completely out of character and I don't buy it at all.


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  • From CarlaRush on September 22, 2009
    I'm looking forward to seeing Ron get Severus to lay down in a coffin...
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  • From LuvTheLibrary on September 22, 2009
    Someone needs to kick Ron's A@@ what a cretin I can't wait to find out how things turn out with Severus and the coffin and I can't wait to find out the truth about Ginny sounds really exciting. Thanks so much your very quick with the updates every time I see a new chapter I sit at the computer squealing in happiness honestly I gave my partner a heart attack with this one he told me if I did it again he will ban me HA I say not gonna happen but I'm rambling so I'll just say I'm really looking forward to the next chapter so cheers once more and take it easy with your back. Take care.
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  • From CarlaRush on September 21, 2009
    Sound story line, but Severus is a bit out of character as well as Albus. That's not necessarily a bad thing though.
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  • From LuvTheLibrary on September 20, 2009
    Sorry to hear that and hope it's over for you soon. I loved this chapter and just have to say that Dumbledore is an interfering old busybody and I can't wait to see what stupidity Ron gets into. I will be eagerly awaiting your next chapter. Take care of yourself and thanks for such a quick update.
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  • From LuvTheLibrary on September 20, 2009
    Sorry to hear about your back pain I suffer from it occasionally myself and I know how horrible it is I hope you feel better soon. I really enjoyed this chapter I thought it was funny when Ron had his faced slashed by Hermione but what about Dumbledore really showing his age there lol. I will be eagerly awaing the next chapter thanks so much.
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  • From CarlaRush on September 19, 2009
    Not bad, however the story moved really fast. The Dark Lord is dead in four chapters. This may be fine because you now have the Hermione/Severus relationship to work on. I still see lots of room for back stories, deceptions and motivations. You have the opportunity to broaden this story horizons. Here's a little trick I do when writing, I write the chapter off the top of my head then save it. A day or two later I read it and see how it looks with 'fresh eyes'. I don't know if this is helpful to you, and I am enjoying the story. I just want you to look back and have something that you enjoy. When I started writing I had a wonderful alpha reader who pointed out plot holes and nagged the shit out of me. She told me that when a person writes and tells a story that words are used to paint the picture. All senses have to be stimulated with words to create atmosphere. Is a room dark and stinky? Tell us that! Just how dark is the room? Describe the smell... etc How happy was someone? How did it show? I'm sure you get the picture.

    Again you have a great premise, so run with it!

    Happy Writing! :)
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  • From LuvTheLibrary on September 19, 2009
    I am just loving your story I have been reading this and I just can't help but beg for more so thanks for the story and PLEASE PLEASE update soon or I just may start having withdrawal symptoms lol thanks once again will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
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