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Reviews for A Different Kind of Magic--UNDERGOING EDIT

By : Remarkable

From SecretlySlytherin on July 23, 2020
Please finish this story!! It is brilliantly written, I really want to find out what happens!

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From ANON - kristin on February 25, 2013
currently at chapter 58, 'from the heart'

well, i think i'm going to stop reading this story here. this has just been too much. just too too much. this is a good close in the story for me. this is a great story, such a unique twist to these characters. i haven't read anything of this type of nature in years, and i really wished i didn't read this one to begin with because it puts my own heart at a horrible place. sigh. oh well, i bet everyone else will love to read the rest of the story though. this isn't anything to do with you, or the other readers, but my heart just can't read anymore of this. nope. i'm out. bye /sobs in a corner/
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From ANON - Jennifer Hoey on November 29, 2012
Are you going to finish this? I would really like to read the rest of it!
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From ANON - FicFan on December 23, 2010
Ch 50 So glad Ava and Remus finally got together and he was able to move on from Dora. That was a very nicely written scene. I just don't like this Hermione and hope there is some explanation to her behavior. Why is she now ( and I believe in the previous chapter or two) reverting to calling him Professor when way back at the manor he gave her permission ( and she obliged) to call him Severus. Although she recognized how two faced she was for slapping him over his comments about another lover, why didn't she also acknowledge her lying about her motivations for nursing him back at the manor. In the early chapters, she noted she did feel sorry for him and volunteered to care for him because she admired all he did for the order, etc. How dare she act like caring for him was foisted upon her! And, my gosh, what kind of nurse was she if she didn't know he had improperly healed bones resulting in weird lumps? And, if she didn't notice, why not Ava? Please go back through your soup / food paragraphs and review your uses of the word then. In most cases it should be than. Then=time, order: first this then this; Than=comparison, preference: this rather than that.
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From ANON - Anon on December 21, 2010
So glad they finally got rescued. I really liked how you portrayed Harry's reaction to Severus and his recognition that Severus took all of the torture in order to spare Teddy. Not sure why it would take them even a moment to figure out the L.M. brand as it was Draco who sent the note and they know Lucius is masterminding the corruption. I don't get Arthur's assessment that Snape was none the worse for wear with only a few physical marks and bruises where in a following paragraph, in contrast to Harry's assessment,
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From ANON - Anon on December 21, 2010
Ch 44. Glad to see them making some headway with Draco's note. Remus is really starting to piss me off. Did they let him out too soon? I thought it odd that Minerva would refer to Draco as a student of mine- the only one there who wouldn't know him is Ava. I can't help but wonder why no one has thought about Lucius until now. Did they think he was dead or in prison? Now the picky grammar stuff. Please be consistent in the convention you choose to create possessives of names ending with an 'S'. You flip flop between just putting an apostrophe and putting apostrophe s. ( in the USA most are taught if it ends with s no extra s needed.)In this chapter you write Serevus' but then write Remus's. Pick one form and stick with it. Also, twice you err with Malfoy's when your are referring to plural ( Lucius and Draco) without being possessive.It should just be Malfoys. In the second instance, you are referring to them as plural and possessive and that should be Malfoys'. Not sure why you capitalized Lorry. I hope you take this as constructive assistance. I respect you putting yourself out there and know that many readers give up on stories with too many errors and would hate for your story to be tossed aside.
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From ANON - Anon on December 20, 2010
With regards to my comments on the ink, I will apologize for having not read the entire section as you do explain why the special ink is still around, but I do stand by the rest. In this chapter, I find it hard to believe Hermione would so casually toss Arthur's project to the floor. Also, if she just finished the translation how is it that she already sent it off to Minverva through Rabastan? Please double check how you capitalize Father. Unless it is being used as a substitution for a proper name ie. if Draco is addressing his dad, "Father, may I go?" for example it should not be capitalized. In this section, Silencio! You will not speak, fool!
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From ANON - FicFan on December 20, 2010
Ch 41. Oh, you have got to be kidding. I just don't know if I can even finish this story if you are not going to think at all before you type. Really? Neville's parents, who were both purebloods, would buy a full truck load ( does the Wizarding world have muggle trucks?) of ink from the internet? Neville's parents were hospitalized in the 80's soon after he was born; the world wide web wasn't in place until the 90's and online stores came a few years later. And, the ink they donated to the school has lasted over 10 years. I believe in allowing for author's artistic license but this is just stretching it. How can you possibly think readers would find this plausible? Why make up something so unrealistic; just say she recognized the ink and leave it at that if you couldn't come up with an explanation that would make sense.
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From ANON - FicFan on December 20, 2010
CH 40. Ah, more of the conspiracy is coming to light. I am not sure if you read the books in another language where the translation differs from the U.S. version but based on the American version, you got the name of Hogwarts wrong. It is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry not academy of Wizardry and Magic. I also noticed you tend to separate out a direct dialog from the sentence when it would flow better to include it as one ie "...one closing remark.
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From ANON - Anon on December 19, 2010
Ch 38. These were the scenes meant to add humor? Yes, levity can be added to an angsty story if it flows naturally; unfortunately the first two scenes were not funny. Perhaps the first scene with Millie in Egypt has some relation to the plot but the BJ for boots did not come across as humorous ( not just the idea of prostitution, but the writing itself was not funny) nor did the scene with Minerva. It just seemed thrown in. This chapter had one incorrect you're instead of your whinging), professor's when it should have been plural professors, and Gringotts without the apostrophe.
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From ANON - Fic Fan on December 19, 2010
Another great chapter. Ah! Lucius is behind it all. I don't know why I was expecting someone else more unexpected. Poor Sev being tortured again. Not sure if I buy his attitude towards Teddy; I think after being healed over and over again he would stop referring to him as boy and brat. It's ok to show Severus' softer caring side as we saw glimpses of it in his interactions with Diedre. One picky detail- the silver would owned by the Shacklebolt family not the Kingsly family as Kingsly is the character's given name.
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From ANON - FicFan on December 19, 2010
Chapt.30 Wow! Great story. You really managed to shake up our stereotypes of the characters; we just don't know who to trust. I can't make up my mind about Rabastan. Just who or what is responsible for Remus' change in personality? Is it Rabastan or has Sirius come back in some form-especially with him using Snivellus. How does your twisty mind work? Please do take some time to proofread the story again. I noticed that when you make the possessive for Remus you do it correctly with just an ' yet for Severus you make the error of adding a 's. If the name ends with an s no extra s needed. Also, when using a proper noun and pronoun, the proper noun comes first ie. Hermione and he left. Quite often you had them reversed and then chose the wrong form of the pronoun -he/him.
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From ANON - Anodyne on December 04, 2010
Chapt 43: ... at least he got some sort of karma backlash right? Thanks for all the warnings in the chapters, since I found the fic at 68 chapters and have not been reading the individual chapter summaries as they post, it helps to brace a little.

Though the fic is dark, it is sometimes quite funny, like the Millicent bit with her friend in Egypt. Also this line was also amusing, though you probably didn't intend it to be. "Being the extreme sexual deviant, I find their obnoxious disdain weak" I think it takes a good writer to pull that sort of thing off.

Good fic overall, I hope it ends happily, if only for Snape. He's the only male besides Harry who hasn't molested a woman... though I suppose he did threaten to force Ava to give him oral.
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From ANON - Anodyne on December 04, 2010
This fic is alot darker than I thought it would be. Nevertheless, it is very enjoyable.

This part really hit me.
"Hermione nearly screamed when the door opened again, and someone jumped over the bed, grabbing her arm. It was Severus.
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From ANON - Anodyne on December 04, 2010
Chapter 8: Fic is getting interesting though I'm surprised you've written lemons for next chapter... the build up thus far doesn't scream sexual tension between anyone other than Brian and the nurses or Deride/Severus. More of a mutual respect. We'll see though eh?

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