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Reviews for Happily Ever After?

By : tinkerbell1989
  • From OmenRequiem on January 14, 2011
    I like it so far. Not too sure I like the Harry being dead bit, but I can certainly deal with it. I hope you update soon!
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  • From MyaMalfoy on January 14, 2011
    This was a great first chapter! And don't let anyone push you around... there are so many stories with the same theme running through them here, it'll be hard to find one that no ones written about! LOL You just keep writing it, and we'll keep reading!
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  • From StarrCrystal on January 14, 2011
    Omg I so cant w8 4 the next chapter. Plz write more soon!

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  • From dragongirl on January 14, 2011
    I will stick if you promised a good bashing of Ron mostly from Molly............. LOL
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  • From carinthea on January 14, 2011
    I feel like someone should try and offer you some constructive criticism here, as you've obviously worked hard on the story. My primary piece of advice would be that you need to get a beta reader. The tenses are all wrong, you are writing in a way that comes across as awkward to the reader "Ron is drunk again. Ever since our best friend Harry died, Ron has been drinking..." this would read so much better if you had written "Ron was drunk again. Ever since Harry's death he had been drinking..."

    I appreciate this is your first story on here, and this is why I offer the sincere recommendation that you go to a site where they offer Beta services and find someone you can work with to get this story worked on.
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