Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for The Rise of the Drackens

By : StarLightMassacre

From picabone99 on February 20, 2013
i am SO pulling for Draco to end up with identical twins. that would be wonderful for him and his family, as well as being easier on harry if they were the only two he was carrying.
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From ANON - Me on February 20, 2013
Thank you oh writing goddess it was a wonderful chapter
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From Zx14ninja on February 20, 2013
Wow, its kinda funny that I started out liking Ashleigh and hated Amelle and now I really don't like Ashleigh but I'm starting to like Amelle! Can't wait for the next update
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From lockheart on February 20, 2013
I greatly enjoy this story and think you are a very talented individual. That being said I have noticed a few inconsistancies. It may just be that I am misunderstanding but:
In Chapter 26: Nightmare or Reality when we get are first look at Marianna she is talking about the fact that she is about to go onto heat. My understanding from your description is that only submissives can go on heat and as Marianna is a dominate I thought I would ask you about it because it confused me.
My only other note is that in your latest chapter you said that Nasta and Blaise had already eaten when they brought the food back to Harry and the others but in Chapter 27 Nasta says "A top dominant is not allowed to eat until all those subordinate to him have started eating.
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From ANON - dominique1 on February 20, 2013
THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART IN THE STORY LOVE ALEXANDER

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From ANON - iloveHGDM on February 20, 2013
you have no Idea hoe happy I was to see this update!! I have been thinking about the story but didn't want to bug you with a request for an update. I LOVE this story and I think you made the right choice making this last heat a dry one, though I hope the story quickly moves to the next heat. I would love to see Draco have twins. Just two for him this time. Keep up the wonderful work I wait as patiently as possible for the next update!
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From Bickymonster on February 20, 2013
Really interesting chapter, and a great read as always. I actually particularly enjoyed the talk with Amelle now that we are really getting to see her without all her barriers up all the time. It was also good to see the mates on Harry's side about not smothering submissives during pregnancy, hope they manage to keep that in mind when Harry gets pregnant again. Alexander is great as always but he seemed a lot more subdued in this chapter, which makes sense given the stress of everything going on with his children at the moment. Kind of glad Harry had an infertile heat, just felt right with the pace of the story and I can understand you keeping it short given you will have to write another heat pretty soon.
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From Meechypoo64 on February 20, 2013
I'm glad that Harry only had a dry heat. Though he will stress every time they come up, he needs a break from being pregnant even if only for another two months. Kudos to Harry for standing up for Amelle and little Nora. Let's hope that Ashleigh gets the help she needs soon.

~~ Meechy
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From ANON - Andrea Readwolf on February 20, 2013
Nicely done. Not a rubbish heat scene at all. Heat scenes are so crazed...as a reader, I almost feel it's better they're glazed over. Leaves more juicy fun bits for the non-heat-induced smex!

Two months.... I forget where we are in the acedemic year. Is that pre- or post-NEWTs? Either way, glad for the repreive. I'd forgotten dry-heats, which is rather funny when you count up how many times they've been mentioned. Have you decided on the Malfoy twins being faternal or identical? Boys or girls? A little Malfoy boy and Malfoy daughter would be super cute, I'm thinking. ^__^

Oh, and you still have a big reveal for the 2nd Dracken baby. It'll be interesting to see if you go with the obvious choice in Farren because it's, well, obvious--Dracken babies are bigger and develop faster and you've had the characters repetively mentioning how big and fast growing Farren is--or if you play a "sneak attack": Calix or Tegan or Regan. :/ You know, other that Tegan being the only daughter so far, it's harder for me to remember which is which. [huffs] Calix is mentioned often...because of his rash, right? But not so much Regan, I don't think? Tegan and Regan are Nasta's? Calix and Farren are Max's? Any of the three, though, would make for fine submissives, I'm thinking.

All, well.... I think I'm due for a rereading of this story soon. ^_^ It's sometimes hard to believe how far it's come, but your chapters are always delicious in length, and I'm rather fond of the choice not to break the story up into "books" or a series. Not easy-to-resist for many authors, fanfic or otherwise. Kudos, as always.

Thanks for writing!

~AR
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From ANON - Lientjuhh on February 20, 2013
I totally love it.. I like the fact you use the familymembers in the story, you use them as characters and not as info.. I like it.. Well written.. :D
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From ANON - tkykitty on February 19, 2013
I'm sooo sorry that I havent reviewed in months. Real life has a way of getting inbetween me and my drakens. So I have read several of the new chapters yet or the scaldie bits either but I will as soon as I get off of this double shift nightmare of a work schedule. I did want to let you know that you still have an excited fan out there (me)even if I'm too tired to acutally turn on my computer most days. Well Keep up the awesome writing as always!
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From Arithmancer on February 18, 2013
Still loving this, after re reading three times. Hope life gives you time to write more
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From Akari-Seikatsu on February 14, 2013
I have been reading this story since you first adopted it and while I loved it at first I find that I am now reading it simply to find out how it ends. As I have read each chapter I have noticed that there are several things that you could handle better, both in the writing of this story and in how you respond to your readers. I am not a professonal writer at this time though I am attending college for a degree in English with an Emphasis on Creative Writing and I do intend to make a living off of my abilities as a writer and as a proofreader/editor.

The first thing that bothers me about this story is that Harry is written almost exactly the same in this as he is in your other story "The Life and Trials of Harry James Potter-Malfoy". This bothers me because it strikes me as being uncomfortably similar to the way Stephanie Meyer writes her female characters, which is NOT something any writer should strive for. I also feel that this shows a lack of diversity in your abilities.

The second thing that bothers me about this story is fact that you felt the need to make "The Scaled Bits" a reading requirement to understand the main story. There isn't really anything wrong with making side stories to a main story, I have done it myself, but the moment you begin to put vital details into it the entire practice begins to reflect badly on you. This is particularly bothersome considering you have mentioned that you intend to become a professional writer. I have read many stories both on this site and on fanfiction.net in which a writer has rewritten a chapter countless times to make it flow properly. Instead of making people read two stories to understand one, it would be better if you took some time to actually plan out each chapter and tweak them to fit the flow you want them to.

The third thing that bothers me is the way you handle the reader's reaction to your story. I have not read each and every review word for word looking for nasty reviews about how long it takes you to update, though I did look through several pages of them and out of the 50 or so I read I saw mostly encouragement. Like it or not YOU ARE WRITING FOR THEM. If you weren't you would not have posted it. I find the fact that instead of thanking the readers who felt the need to leave you some 230 reviews, you feel the need to berate them for asking when you will be updating or for asking you to update again soon. I suggest that you take a moment to look at this story as if you are making money off of it. If you were, that money would be from the readers who have purchased your book.

I am also bothered by the fact that you feel the need to complain that you spend your free time writing. That's how you get better, how you improve your skill. Do you think that a musician simply picks up their intrument one day and plays a concerto with no practice? Do you think that JK Rowling writes as a hobby? Do you think that the artists who make everything from the advertisements to modern art just paint for fun?

You wish to be a professional writer, so act as a professional writer acts. I spend about 99% of my free time working on my stories, and all of them are simply practice at the moment. I lie down to go to sleep at night thinking about my stories. If you expect to be a professional you will have to do the same or you will fail.

This review is not meant as a flame, but rather as a combination of constructive criticism and a wake up call. With a little more work and a more mature outlook you can be a good writer. You are on the right path, you just have a lot more work than you seem to think you do.
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From ANON - Jask on February 12, 2013
I just read chapter 63, which I loved, and then the reviews. I hope your okay, I know what it's like getting sick a lot, and I hope you feel better.
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From ANON - spaz666 on February 08, 2013
Ok, I just spent my sick week re-reading this story because of the Ashleigh situation. I wanted to go back and see if I had missed how she interacted with Harry.

I have come to the conclusion that you are the Lord of Subtlety and I bow to your skills. Every interaction Ashleigh had with Harry had something to do with a baby. The first thing she asks is about them or if she can hold one. Even after Nott the first thing that she thinks of is that Harry can't have any more of Max's children. Forget the rest of his mates or the psychological trauma that would have on Harry, it's all about making more babies.
She was also the only one not worried about how the pregnancy with the quints would effect Harry's health and well being. Looking back has made all the little things I noticed at the time come back and jump out at me. It should have been apparent after Alexander's party that Ashleigh was a typical selfish submissive--Alexander didn't spent any time with her, only Myron and Richard.
So I have to wonder--is one of the reasons that Harry didn't want Ashleigh to be near his kids at first because he could sense that things were not all right in her head? Would be interesting.

It was also a treat to remember that I share the same birth date with my favorite Dominant, Nasta. GO Feb. 3rd!!!

Anyways, keep up the good work Lord of Subtlety and will keep enjoying all of your writings. =)
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