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Reviews for I Learned the Truth at Seventeen

By : Greeneyes
  • From demonsangel on August 16, 2011
    Ok, I am a bit confused. You jumped from Hermione getting the panther to suddenly staying who knows where and mentioning that Ron got in trouble but we dont know what for.
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  • From MariaTeresaQuintanar on August 16, 2011
    Good story idea, but the writing feels choppy to me. What happened that Ron was punished? You didn't say what happened and if you did (and I simply missed it) you didn't exactly go into enough detail to explain it. I went over the story several times looking for it. I'll do it again. Who knows maybe I missed the event or plot point, but I don't think I did. Next, have you thought about having a beta reader? This isn't to say that you aren't a good or capable writer, but even the best of them have one. Trust me.

    Just one correction in grammar--

    YOUR--is a possessive (ie, He is YOUR father or That is YOUR tennis racket)
    YOU'RE--is a contraction for YOU ARE (ie, YOU'RE going to be late or YOU'RE hopping on one leg)

    I hope this clears that up. Great idea, but the writing needs work. Please give serious consideration to the beta reader. Good luck and hope to read more of your story soon.
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  • From duckducknbear on August 15, 2011
    Ah...what a great gift! This just gets better and better...thanks for the great story.
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  • From Talented_Mrs_Lupin on August 15, 2011
    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
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  • From duckducknbear on August 14, 2011
    Oh my gosh! This is so great! I can't wait to see what happens with sev and herm! I like the mind read thing...nice touch!
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  • From Sampdoria on August 14, 2011
    Intersting first chapters, I liked it. I do enjoy Hermione/Severus stories where there is a tiny bit of Ron-bashing, or at least a whining Ron who, after deciding that he wants Hermione, has to realise that what he wants aint necessary what Hermione wants. I look forward to read more.
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  • From leahh617 on August 14, 2011
    I absolutely love stories where Severus and Hermione can here each others thoughts!!!! Keep up the good work and update soon :)
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  • From Talented_Mrs_Lupin on August 14, 2011
    awww even when hes a jerk he can be sweet....i want one!
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  • From xcrystaldragonx on August 14, 2011
    Nice beginning!! I'm looking forward to reading more into their adventures. Keep up the GREAT work!!!!!
    Hugs, TCQ
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  • From Angie30 on August 14, 2011
    Really liking this... keep up the good work :)
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