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Reviews for Unlikely Heroes

By : KusanoSaku
  • From ANON - Anon on November 12, 2012
    Outstanding, why is there two of chapter 14 text back to back?
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  • From ANON - Tee on October 28, 2012
    WHERE ARE YOU? YOU HAVE TO UP-DATE NOW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - SpectacularViews on October 26, 2012
    Okay, here's what I have to say. I'm going to be totally honest. Your story was honestly intriguing at first. I was glad to read it. Then the more I read it, the more annoyed I got. First things first. You desperately need a beta. Like, immediately. There are big mistakes made every chapter. Missing words, syntax errors. It gets to be too much. Second, you repeat yourself to death. I mean, something happens and instead of it happening and there being some small explanation given, you rehash the ENTIRE incident again, about 50 times. And instead of varying the words, they're very nearly the same words you used earlier in the chapter. I've read about Severus and Percy's forced abortions in the exact same words in no doubt what feels like a million times. I understand that it happened. Yes, I get it. I'm sad about it. I do not need to be told over and over again. Third, the Gary-stu ness of your male characters. They're all super powerful and super awesome and speak 50 bajillion languages and play a million instruments. They're descended from Hogwarts founders and creatures and beautiful and rich, omg. That's just sigh worthy. it's bad writing. Third, your text dumps. You "textbook" every chapter. Long rambling speeches unprompted from characters. It's just like blam! I can barely remember certain stuff because it was handed to me in this dense manner. Fourth, you use Dracken all over the place when you said you want to use Chuvash still. Fifth, you break your own rules. There are supposed to be only a scarce number of Chuvash subs and there are 3 all in Hogwarts, maybe more. That doesn't seem scarce at all. Sixth, the Sirius I and Sirius III thing is annoying. You shouldn't have to write those. The characters should be vastly different enough to be recognised by voice (or text, ya know, as a written story and all.) but the characters and characterisation don't differ from one another. I can hardly tell any characters apart. They're all pretty much the same. I think this needs a lot of work. A lot. And I'm really not trying to be mean, really. I put my email and everything there, so feel free to contact me if you disagree or want some clarification on anything I've said.
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  • From Morbid_and_Sexy on October 19, 2012
    Ch. 58 is awesome! Two boys screaming like girls!!!
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  • From ANON - Brandi on October 19, 2012
    I was so excited to see this update. I love this story and thought that the continuation of the prank wars was great. great chapter looking forward to more.
    Brandi
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  • From ChaosLady on October 17, 2012
    I like George's prank!
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  • From ANON - Jennifer on October 17, 2012
    I'd like to see Remus in a switch role. Top to Severus, but bottom to Lucius. At the time of a full moon, maybe go full Dom Mode on both, though. That would be cool.
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  • From gossipgirl84 on October 17, 2012
    This story is different. Not different bad, different good. Though there are a few things that confuse me, I'm really enjoying reading this. And I do love Dumbledore and Weasley bashing. Except for bashing of the twins since they are my favorite characters. People just know how to make Dumbledore just as worse as Voldemort, you as well. I wonder if there will be Ginny bashing. She is my least favorite character, I can't stand her at all. I'm going to keep reading.
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  • From gossipgirl84 on October 17, 2012
    Alvin and the Chipmunks, that's what it sounds like. I would never name my child Alvin, even if it were the last name on the planet. I just don't like it.
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  • From gossipgirl84 on October 17, 2012
    That whole chapter(s) totally confused me. Why is chapter 12 written twice? you should check that out. And you should also mention that the characters would be really ooc. Like Harry, who is shy, quiet and someone who cries a lot which we all know, in the books he's not like that. And I cannot picture, in a million years, that Dumbledore would call anyone a slut or even a whore. That's just so weird.
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  • From gossipgirl84 on October 17, 2012
    I didn't realize this was going to be an alternate universe, you should have mentioned that. Less confusing.
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  • From gossipgirl84 on October 17, 2012
    Harry slept in the closet under the stairs, that wasn't anywhere in the kitchen. It was more like a storage closet not a kitchen cupboard. But this story is good so far.
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  • From mihoshi on October 14, 2012
    I love the story so much. I can't wait to go to the next chapter. I would love to have another chapter with Remis Severus and lucious going at it. I am happy to see Lucius accepting Remus more. In one of the chapters you mentioned Dracken instead of Chuvash.
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  • From MyaMalfoy on October 03, 2012
    I absolutely adore this story, but it hasn't been updated for almost 2 months! Has it been abandoned??? PLEASE, MERLIN, NO!!!
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  • From siriuslynluv on October 03, 2012
    I really enjoy this story! It has a lot of twists and turns and I can hardly wait to see what happens next! Please update soon!
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