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Reviews for Harry Potter and the Breeding Darkness

By : Danyealle

From ANON - Anon on February 17, 2015
If you're tired and bored of continuing this, you know you can stop at any time, right? You don't have to force yourself to finish it.

I noticed that your length per chapter is shortening the more it continues, and yet some of them are simply fillers and somehow flat in its plot. It's like you lost all muse and a writer's block has obstructed your way, with your writing. It's become less clear and more vague, with less visual/emotional/physical expression in details. It's like you're just writing it because you HAVE to, not because it's enjoyable. The story is becoming bland and tasteless, instead of rich and delicious in a way that would be satisfying the hungry reader and writer.
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From ANON - Anon on February 16, 2015
I'm sorry if it comes off as a flame, but Tom's name is a really significant start between Harry and Tom.

When Sirius uses it so casually, it feels like it's so extremely disrespectful for those lines that I've just re-read several times in the past year. It's like Tom has become insignificant and... Well, overused. It's not Harry's anymore.

You know that thing about promises that are unsaid? It's a bit like that, with Harry agreeing to use it, but to allow others to use Tom's name so casually instead of his title, without Harry doing anything to prevent them from using a name that is only his privilege to use... It's disconcerting. There goes that connection, good-bye, adieu, ciao. It's like there's no respect for the image Tom created, the 'Dark Lord'. It's nothing. It's not sacred anymore, or special, at least not for Harry. He doesn't even get annoyed or irritated or angry that someone is saying Tom's name without Tom's express permission. He treats it like it's normal to say Tom's name without it being so... Important. Like he doesn't know how important it was that Tom asked him, and ONLY him, to say his name.

That thing about... Not having Tom's consent for his name usage. Sorry if it sounds like flame, but I don't mean to put it that way. Your usage of Tom's name by characters besides Harry (or Dumbledore, because he's an old man who knows it, anyway) makes his name seem so... I forgot the word, but it made Tom's name less special because it's not just Harry's own, not any more. Everyone just throws it around. It's not sweet and giddy and it never gives a rush any more because it's said by so many characters that are not in the relationship. Tom is Harry's 'dear/sweetheart/darling' endearment (that's the words I'm looking for!) and everyone just sort of bastardised the meaning behind it by making it JUST a name. Like, "Oi, Tom, stop snogging my godson and eat your peas."

I think it's like when gay meant happy/joyous/joyful, until people identified that with homosexuals, and then rarely anyone uses the word gay any more to mean happy, because they KNOW they'll just think it's the sexual orientation. I'm sorry I can't find a clear similarity, but I'll try harder:

It's like: Tom, Harry's endearment and only-you-Harry-can-say-it, became 'Tom-that-guy-who-is-shagging-my-godson'.

And one more try: Imagine you have that one special nickname you call your special someone, and it's really significant because your special someone likes it, coming from you and no one else, because in the past it's been troubling for them to accept it without getting upset by it. Then another person overheard you calling your special someone that nickname, and starts using it. In the end, everyone starts using it, and you, despite knowing that it causes your special someone discomfort and upset, did nothing to stop it. It became theirs, too. It's not yours any more. It's not special anymore because the name was carelessly tossed around, bland and without meaning, without any other else knowing how much precious it is, how much they should be honoured to even utter the word, if given permission by your special someone. In the end your special someone just accepts it with a sigh, and when you say their nickname, that special name that only you had said, your special someone just turns to you. Just turns to you, and looks at you in question. There's no spark in their eyes about how special that name had been. Just looked at you like you'd just called out their normal name and asked you what you needed. Instead of honeydarlinglovethankyouiloveyou undertones, they heard: "Boris Charlus Williams V".

That's it. That's how Tom's name appears to be right now.
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From ANON - Anon on February 16, 2015
I'd like to add this one, too:

Tom.

It felt like it was some incredibly special honor and it was only his. Only Harry could call Voldemort by his real name. It would be weird to start thinking of the man as Tom after thinking of him as Voldemort for so long, but he somehow didn't think he'd have much trouble making the shift. He looked like a Tom. This man who Harry had become so utterly attached to. Who Harry had grown to cherish and adore beyond reason. This man didn't feel like Voldemort to him. He felt like Tom. It felt right to call him that. But most of all, it felt glorious that the man had granted him permission to do so.

It truly seemed that this gesture had to have some deeper meaning to it. It had to have some greater significance that the Dark Lord was willing to allow Harry to use his given name. Harry didn't know what that meaning was, but he was sure it was important.

Please don't let others use Tom's name. It's Harry's. It's his.
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From ANON - Anon on February 16, 2015
Hi, Danyealle. About Sirius using Tom's name... in the 'Harry Potter and the Descent into Darkness' chapter 24, where the first smut between Harry and Tom is located (*nudge, nudge*), Tom's line is:

"Only you, Harry," Tom said, gripping a tight hold on Harry's rear and pressing them together harder in rhythm. "Only you can ever say it."

I don't think he'd be really pleased that someone is saying his name and throwing it around like that. I think Harry would feel possessive of having the privilege to use Tom's name because Tom himself allowed him. It would seem off if just anyone like Sirius is using his name, and not Harry, whom he gave his express smutty permission to use it. Wisely.
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From ANON - Chii-pet on February 15, 2015
OMG. OMG. OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!! AN UPDATE!!! Yay! Gah but it was just a filler. Whatever! It was an update! I hope to see more soon! With sex! And violence! And more details! And I don't even care what's in it, just keep updating! (Sorry, I'm on a large bit of a sugar high)

But seriously. I do like your writing style, but you could add a little more detail into your work. You focus mainly on the words spoken than you do the actions taking place. That isn't a bad thing, but I'm a very visual person and I have issues following what happens if there isn't a lot of vividly depicted actions in between the dialogue. You focus mainly on Harry and Voldemort, but this is such a complexly woven storyline, occasional input from other characters (other than a few sentences) is needed.

How is Hermione doing in her progression towards the Dark? Is she almost there? Completely? What do the other Slytherins think of Draco and Harry being so buddy-buddy out of Potions. What else is happening with Harry's various studies? What else is happening during the time in which Harry is at Voldemort's side, besides the talks about the obvious subjects of war and their marriage? What's going to happen during their marriage? Are you going to copy a pagan one, or a regular one, or make up your own? What are the preparations? Who will be there? Who will know? When will the Daily Prophet find out? What will happen then? What will Dumbledore do once he finds out? What's Barty been up to? And Umbridge? Does that thing with the blood quill happen? What'll Voldemort say about that? What's going through the numerous Weasley's minds? And Snape? How's he doing with all this? Surely he must still have some issues with Lily's son being with the Dark Lord, still. And Sirius? Lucius? Bella? The other Death Eaters? How are their weekly dueling sessions going? Are Bellatrix and the other from Azkaban back to their former glory? How's Narcissa doing with the many subjects she was set to research for Harry and Voldemort? Have they found anything new? Old and interesting? How will Harry get the Elder Wand? Is there going to be a giant final battle, or is everything going to be sorted already from the inside, out? How will the rest of the Widarding population react when they discover Harry's heavy immersion into the Dark Arts? How will Harry react? Voldemort? Everyone else?

Soooooo enough of my rambling. If you wanna reach me, you can find me on fanfiction under Chii-pet. Sorry if I accidentally flamed. I didn't mean to! i just wanted to help get you thinking on what you wanted to happen with everything and everyone. Like I said above, this is a really tightly interwoven storyline. I got tangled. Can't imagine what your notes look like lol. But yeah, I hope I helped. Ish...? Ok. It's like 3 now, so I'm just gonna go now... I again hope I didn't flame!
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From ANON - GoddessonmyKnees on February 14, 2015
Great chapter. I loved it and am glad that they finally got his 'family'.

Can't wait for more.
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From ANON - KatAlvers on February 12, 2015
Yay, a new chapter! This is by far my favorite HP fanfic and I'm really glad you're sticking with it :D
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From Anaelyssa on February 09, 2015
Thank you for the chapter 62/63.

Gradual planning for the endgame and the emancipation move. Good to see things moving on the different fronts.
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From ANON - Crispyangelwings on February 09, 2015
I love your story, and especially love the fact that you are still updating, thank you for taking it on :) so that a good story wasn`t left in the dust.
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From ANON - staar on February 09, 2015
yes that sounds good to force Dubbles to waste his powers .......Thanks for the update !!!!!
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From Kyra on February 09, 2015
I'm crazy about their marriage !!!
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From ANON - Jen on January 29, 2015
Love the story really hope you'll continue with it and soon.
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From ANON - staar on January 23, 2015
just re-read this again so to refresh my mind...OMG please if your around please update this it's so good !!!!!!
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From Sazza on January 10, 2015
Love it, all the manoeuvrings and secrets, gripping story. Thank you
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From ANON - Lady Crescent on January 09, 2015
What you're doing with the story so far is really good. I wouldn't mind reading more. Hope you update soon. Can't wait to read more
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