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Reviews for Never challenge a Potions Master

By : Tinkerbelletje
  • From Persy on October 28, 2021

    Rest of it!!!!!!????


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  • From slygriff21 on June 01, 2012
    glad to have you back! Loved the story and can't wait for the sequal! Hope it will be soon!
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  • From Madamdragon on March 22, 2012
    Hawt Stuff. This needs an update with a good revenge.
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  • From heisman_45 on March 19, 2012
    Umm it was good. Now that's out of the way here is my critique. If your going to write from first person present tense (which I understand is incredibly difficult I have an original novel that I'm writing in the same fashion) you should stick with it. The suspense of certain scenes will be heightened (I don't know if you have read the Hunger games book but it's a great example of what I'm saying) one example in your story would be. I followed his instructions and started stirring clockwise as I added the ingredients in the cauldron.

    I could feel him continuing to stroke my thighs and bottom, I could even tell that he was getting harder as his cock rubbed against my hip. "You see Miss Granger...to be good at Potions you must keep your concentration at all times" I heard him say as his hand began to glide between my legs, stroking my inner thighs, and teasing me through my panties with his thumb.

    It helps make the story feel more connected. Of course if you prefer doing it your way it's your choice as the author. If you do however want to take my suggestion you can email me with any questions. Good luck either way I will be following you either way.
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  • From LadyOfTheNight on March 19, 2012
    Bravo!
    I love the improvements! and I can't wait for the next installment!
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  • From Hardygirl133 on March 19, 2012
    *gleeful cackle*hehehehe!!!!

    Where can i find a potions teacher like that!?!?!
    I do hope you continue this story or one similar to it...much too good to just stop with one chapter!!
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  • From LadyOfTheNight on March 19, 2012
    this was a great fiction! I had a little issues with your point of view. I found the switch between first person and third person point of view to be a little confusing. Maybe sticking to one point of view would be easier, or you could insert page breaks or change the style of the text to indicate a new point of view.

    The last bit sounded like Hermione might have more tests to pass... You could extend this to add more tests... if your muse permits... I wouldn't mind! ^_^

    Well done!
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